


My Beautiful Nightmare

by HIKARIYUKIX



Category: SEVENTEEN (Band)
Genre: M/M, NSFW, Not for the Feint-hearted, Psychological, Smut, Thriller, gyuhan, kind of messed up
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-03-08
Updated: 2018-05-07
Packaged: 2019-03-28 14:38:17
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Rape/Non-Con
Chapters: 13
Words: 42,425
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/13906140
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/HIKARIYUKIX/pseuds/HIKARIYUKIX
Summary: Accepting an invitation from his estranged father of over twenty years was his first mistake. Agreeing to live under the same roof as his insane half-sibling was his second mistake. Falling for the boy with psychotic tendencies was never his intention but no matter what Mingyu did he just couldn't bring himself to hate the younger boy. Maybe that was why they were so perfect for each other, they were both utterly insane.





	1. The call

**Author's Note:**

> Hi, y'all! If you're reading this for the first time then welcome! This fic was uploaded last year but I had some drama so I took it down. That drama is now resolved so I'm putting it back up bigger and better.
> 
> For those of you who already read this, I hope you guys won't be too throw off by the minor changes as I upload this 2.0 version. This will go up on a weekly basis and who knows, maybe two or three chapters might drop at once depending on how motivated I am. 
> 
> HAPPY READING!~

* * *

PROLOGUE

* * *

 

Jeonghan slipped on his coat and ran a hand through his long blond locks, he was taking long deep breaths to prevent himself from crying. He took quiet steps across the room where his beloved laid under the deep navy sheets. Short black hair framed his handsome face while dark eyelashes fluttered in sleep. Jeonghan sat down by the edge of the bed and reached for the sleeping boy under the covers, eighteen years of age but still very much a child. He touched the smooth sun-kissed skin of his cheek and placed a gentle kiss on the boy's forehead; Jeonghan looked at the boy's lips and shook his head. He had to leave, intimacy was just going to make it harder to say goodbye.

"It's for the best, one of us has to do the right thing," Jeonghan said biting his lower lip.

He stroked the boy's hair one more time before leaving the room. Jeonghan went back to his room taking only a duffel bag and didn't turn back. He just walked and kept on walking, wishing that he had never come to this place. Wishing he had never gotten involved. He wanted his time back, he wanted to go back to a time when he didn't know how much it hurt to love someone.

* * *

 

Jeonghan looked out the window of the plane as the pilot announced that they were going to land in South Korea. He was sat next to his mother who was busy talking to her assistant and was gradually becoming more agitated. His mother was a lovely woman unless she was working on a project, she went from a gentle soul to soulless banshee. His mother was a designer and a famous one at that, he had been her travelling partner for the last twenty one years of his life. Being a globetrotter for most of his life had its perks but Jeonghan hadn't stayed anywhere long enough to actually call any place home. His mother had decided about three days ago that they would be travelling to South Korea which had given Jeonghan quite the shock considering he hadn't been to the country since he was born. His mother had always been adamant about Jeonghan never being allowed to visit his homeland so the sudden decision opened a whole plethora of questions.

"Do you want something to drink, angel?" His mother's angry tone disappeared as she turned her attention back to him.

"I'm fine, mom," Jeonghan replied with a shake of his head.

His mother patted his face with a manicured hand and went back to talking to her assistant, her hostile tone immediately returning. Yoon Chanmi, his mother, had been married to an unfaithful husband and as a result she went through nine months of pregnancy all alone. When Jeonghan was finally born his mother had already gotten the lawyers and paperwork ready for a divorce. His mother gained full custody of him and the two of them had been on their own ever since. Jeonghan didn't know much about his father and his mother didn't like talking about him. Of course being a person in the public eye he knew his mother's private life wasn't very private so he did some digging. His father's name was Kim Daehan, CEO of Seventeen Records, apparently the man was quite the powerhouse in the Korean music industry. Jeonghan left his research at that considering the man didn't really play any role in his life he refused to obsess over the person who cheated on his pregnant mother.

Jeonghan felt the small jolt as the plane landed on the runway and immediately started swallowing to prevent his ears from being blocked. He yawned as the plane finally came to a stop and followed his mother who was still talking to her assistant as they made their way out. They went through immigration like everyone else and got their luggage from baggage claim because in his mother's words "we have functioning arms and legs, we can go get our own luggage." Jeonghan loved his mother's sassiness as much as he loved the fact that she was still humble despite her successes.

"Your car is right over here, Chanmi-shi," his mother's assistant directed the two over to the pickup bay where a black car was parked.

The city-scape of Seoul was rather different from Paris where he'd previously stayed for the past six months. He knew it was the city where he was born but he hadn't been in Seoul since birth, it was a completely new environment to him. His mother must've seen his expression because she suddenly took his hand in hers. She gave him a reassuring smile as the car weaved it's way through the busy streets. He was both intrigued and absolutely terrified.

"Don't worry we're only here until I finish all my work for Seoul Fashion Week, we'll be out of here sooner than you think. You and I can go enjoy ourselves in Los Angeles right after, it'll be fabulous," his mother gave his hand a squeeze.

"It just feels so odd being here," Jeonghan shifted in his seat.

Suddenly he froze, the car had stopped at a red light right in front of a tall grey building and at the very top a sign spelt out 'Seventeen Records' in large block letters. He was in front of his father's building, he couldn't understand why but he felt uneasy. It was as if his body was telling him something, like his body was giving him a warning -- he had the urge to run. His mother must've also noticed the building because she too had a sudden change in behaviour.

"The only thing in Korea that I don't miss," his mother said while eyeing the building.

"How has Seventeen Records being doing Chungha?" His mother asked her assistant who sat in the front seat.

"They are very successful, it seems they have been doing very well. The CEO has all three of his sons working there now," Chungha the assistant informed.

"Hm," Jeonghan heard the disdain in his mother's voice, his lips curled into an amused smirk.

The rest of the drive was quiet, they arrived at their hotel during the evening where the two of them enjoyed a meal together courtesy of room service. His mother received a call from one of her contacts and immediately had to go solve the problem leaving Jeonghan by himself in the room. Jeonghan plopped himself down on the bed and checked his phone, he was surprised to find that he had a total of thirteen missed calls after turning off 'aeroplane mode' one the device. He scrolled through the call logs to find they all came from the same number, a Korean number at that. He furrowed his brow, he didn't know anyone here so who could be calling him? He was going to assume it was just someone dialling him by mistake but a part of him was curious to find out who was so desperate to find him that they would call thirteen times. In the end Jeonghan gave in and called the number back.

"Hello? Yoon Jeonghan-shi?" The person on the other end picked up after the first ring.

"May I ask who is calling?" Jeonghan replied.

"This is Hong Jisoo, I work for your father," the person on the phone said.

"My father?" Jeonghan was sceptical, why would his father who he'd never talked to in over twenty years suddenly contact him.

"I know you probably don't believe me but please listen. I'm his assistant and I have been trying very hard these last few years to contact you but your mother has made that quite a difficult task. Your father is currently ill and he wants to spend some time with you Jeonghan-shi. According to the doctors he doesn't have much time left. I know the two of you don't have any prior relationship with each other but I'm begging you please come and see him."

"He's dying?" Jeonghan sat back down on the bed.

He knew Kim Daehan hadn't been very active as CEO in recent years but he never expected that the man to be dying. He also couldn't understand why he suddenly had a lump in his throat. He didn't know the guy, he'd never even called the man 'dad' nor had he ever seen the man in person so why was he so affected by the news?

"Will you come see him? He's been uttering your name for a long time Jeonghan-shi. The man has...changed quite a bit after being faced with his mortality, please think about it. This number is all you need to call if you change your mind."

"I'll call you back," Jeonghan said before hanging up the phone.

Jeonghan stared at the phone and laid down facing the ceiling. He closed his eyes and let out a long sigh. His father was ill and he wasn't going to live much longer, fucking great, that was exactly what he wanted to hear after returning to his homeland. He ran a hand through his hair in frustration followed by several deep breaths. He knew the man wasn't exactly highly talked about by his mother or at all for that matter but for some odd reason he felt guilty thinking about ignoring his father's request. It felt as if he was preventing the man from getting his closure before he passed away. Jeonghan was very much torn.

"Jeonghan-ah I want you to wear one of my new-" his mother stopped mid sentence when she entered the room.

"Hi mom," Jeonghan said as he sat up.

"They contacted you didn't they?" His mother looked at the phone in his hand.

"He's dying."

"He wants to see you doesn't he?" His mother set down the bag on her arm and sat beside him.

"He's dying mom," Jeonghan repeated.

"You want to see him," it was a statement rather than a question.

"I...yes," Jeonghan said, bracing himself for his mother's refusal but it never came.

"Alright, you can go," his mother said.

"Just like that? Why did you try so hard to keep me away if you were just going to agree to let me see him?" Jeonghan turned to face her.

"Nothing's worse than a woman scorned sweetheart, I had to fight very hard for you Jeonghan and I remember everything that happened all those years ago. I did everything I could to make sure you didn't turn out like your father and I am confident that you won't. Also, he is a dying man and who am I to reject the wishes of someone at the end of their life? I did love him once so let this be my final gift to him."

"So if he wasn't dying you wouldn't let me go?" Jeonghan's brow furrowed.

"No, not a chance," that was the petty mother he knew and loved -- she didn't beat around the bush that's for sure. "That man can choke."

"Thank you."

"I have to head out now so promise me you'll let me know when you're visiting your father."

"Mom, I'm an adult," Jeonghan reminded her as he walked her out the door.

"I gave you life Yoon Jeonghan, I will worry about you until I am withered and grey," his mother kissed his cheek before handing him the bag she was carrying earlier. "Wear it, blue looks amazing on you, be a good boy and advertise for your mother."

"I will," Jeonghan pecked his mother on the cheek and closed the door.

Picking up his phone he dialled Jisoo Hong's number and of course the assistant picked up once again on the first ring. From the sound of rustling of papers and the ringing of other phones in the background he guessed Mr. Hong was quite the busy individual.

"Jeonghan-shi! What can I do for you?" Jisoo asked, his tone giving away his unease.

"I want to see my father."

"That's wonderful! I can arrange that immediately, where are you staying? I'll have a car pick you up right away."

"Right now? Sudden don't you think?" Jeonghan asked.

"Your father has waited years Jeonghan-shi please don't make him wait any longer," Jisoo pleaded.

"Fine, I'll text you the address."

Jeonghan hung up the phone and prayed that this wasn't going to be something he was going to regret. For some odd reason he just couldn't shake off the uneasy feeling he had, it was the same one he felt when he'd driven past his father's company building. He was the kind of person who always trusted his gut but this time he was willing to ignore for the sake of seeing his dying father. He just hoped that going against his instincts this one time didn't result in him getting the short end of the stick.


	2. The Meeting

At six o'clock sharp a man dressed in well fitted black suit entered the lobby of the hotel carrying a folder on his arm and a phone in the other. His short brown hair slicked back to perfectly frame a handsome face. Jeonghan had changed into a pair of white trousers and a complimentary pale blue button down waited for him inside. Jisoo noticed him immediately, it wasn't difficult considering he was the only one in the whole lobby who looked like they were below the age of forty. Jeonghan stood out like a sore thumb with his long blond locks and willowy stature -- he didn't fit in most places in all honesty. Jeonghan eyed the Hong Jisoo as he approached. He was still very skeptical.

"Are you Jeonghan-shi?" Jisoo asked as he approached.

"Yes I'm Jeonghan, you must be Jisoo?" Jeonghan held out a hand.

They shook hands and right away Jisoo ushered him out of the lobby and right into the backseat of the car waiting in the pickup area. Jisoo joined the seat beside him and they were off. The ride was quiet with Jisoo taking glances over at Jeonghan rather frequently, he didn't feel too bothered by it as it happened more often than not. Blending in wasn't easy when he looked the way he did.

"You really weren't what I was expecting," Jisoo suddenly admitted from beside him.

"Oh?"

"You don't look much like your father or any of your father's other children if I'm being perfectly honest," Jisoo smiled sheepishly.

"I take after my mother, she likes to think that his lack of presence accounts to my lack of resemblance to the man," Jeonghan smiled to himself.

"I just didn't expect you to be so...striking."

"So I've been told," he wasn't conceited, people really did tell him that.

The car finally arrived in front of a large black gate where the driver had to speak into an intercom before the gate slid open to allow the vehicle inside. Jeonghan was driven up a winding driveway lined with tall trees until a massive structure came into view. His father's estate was intimidating to say the least, the symmetrical mansion was made of dark grey brick and the few crows that were perched on the rooftops seemed to be watching him as Jeonghan stepped out of the car. It felt like one of those cliché horror movie openings, Jeonghan was almost convinced he was going to see an apparition of a ghost appear in one of the large windows.

"Well, this is the Kim family estate, quite the sight isn't it Jeonghan-shi?" Jisoo said while stepping out from the car.

"It definitely needs some colour," Jeonghan commented.

Stepping into the house was surreal for Jeonghan. From the high ceilings and chandeliers to the modern decor the place just screamed money. He knew his father was rich but he didn't expect the extent of his wealth until this very moment. They walked up the wide staircase and was taken down a long hallway until finally Jisoo gestured for him to stop in front of a set of white double doors. Jisoo knocked on one of the doors and waited for a response.

"Who is it?" A low husky voice asked from the other side of the door.

"It's me sir, I've brought Jeonghan," Jisoo's tone was formal.

"Come in," The husky voice coughed.

Jisoo pushed open the doors revealing the large bedroom filled with a plethora of hospital devices. Machines were scattered around the room while a cabinet holding small bottles of medication lined its shelves. Jeonghan felt rather depressed thinking about how bad his father's condition must've been if he required that much medical equipment and antibiotics. As he and Jisoo approached the occupant on the canopied bed Jeonghan noticed the smell that emulated off them -- that was the scent of a person close to death. Jeonghan frowned.

"Jeonghan? Son?"

Kim Daehan, his father, sat up from his lying position to get a better look at him. The man's eyes widened significantly as he took in the sight of the son he hadn't seen in twenty-one years. His father stared at him for several moments before gesturing with a hand for him to move closer. The IV drip in his father's arm just further emphasized how sick the man was. Jeonghan approached the bed and immediately had his face grabbed by his father's cold hands. The man smoothed his thumbs over Jeonghan's cheeks and continued their way into his hair stroking the long blond strands before pulling him into an embrace. Jeonghan knew he had no prior relationship with the man but he felt a lump form in his throat again, this was his father. He returned his father's hug making sure to be gentle as to not hurt the man.

"I'm sorry for what I did to your mother, I've had a lot of time to reflect since I've been ill," his father released him, guiding him to the stool beside the bed.

"Sorry for not contacting you all this time but mom didn't want me to have anything to do with you," Jeonghan confessed.

"I understand, I was an outright disgrace of a husband. I cheated on her, I let her go through her pregnancy alone and I even put up a fight in court knowing full well she made more than reasonable terms. I made the same mistake again and again now here I am with a long list of regrets and finally making amends on my deathbed. Oh god you look just like her, beautiful like an angel. She called you her angel ever since you were in the womb."

"Am I the only son you haven't had contact with?" Jeonghan asked.

"Yes, you are. All my other sons are within my custody. You are my eldest Jeonghan, my first born and I didn't even get to see you grow up," his father's expression was pained.

"Then shall we get to know each other? I don't have anything else planned today so my time is all yours. Let's get to know each other...dad."

"I'd like that very much," his father smiled, the lines around his eyes and mouth creasing -- his illness had aged him beyond his years.

The two sat and talked for hours, Jeonghan told his father about his travels around the world and his interest in psychology leading him to pursue a degree in that particular field. His father in turned revealed that he had a total of three other brothers within the family, all belonging to different mothers. Jeonghan simply shook his head at his father's promiscuous past and asked about his brothers. Apparently one year after Jeonghan was born his father and his second wife welcomed a set of fraternal twins into the family by the names of Soonyoung and Jihoon. According to his father Soonyoung now worked as a choreographer for the company's artists while Jihoon was in charge of producing the music -- quite impressive knowing they were taking on such important roles at their age. Last was the youngest son Mingyu, his father seemed a little bit flustered as he spoke of his youngest.

"Mingyu is...unique. He was raised for a time with his mother similar to you but I discovered his mother was quite the abusive parent. I immediately got my lawyers involved and took him away but the trauma from his mother's abuse has affected him quite a bit. He is sort of all over the place a lot of the time and unfortunately his habits are very similar to my younger self. Are you familiar with Dissociative Personality Disorder?"

"Yes," Jeonghan nodded, it was the correct term for someone who has multiple personalities.

"His mother's abuse did quite the number on him Jeonghan, to this day I don't know what triggers him but for the most part he's stable. He's a smart boy, he's been helping out at the company with his brothers ever since I've gotten sick. I just want you to be careful around him, the boy's behaviour is inconsistent and it can be rather...difficult to get used to."

"Thanks, very reassuring dad," Jeonghan's voice dripped with sarcasm.

"How long are you staying Jeonghan?" His father's tone becoming serious.

"I'm supposed to stay until mom finished her show for Seoul Fashion Week but...I can stay longer if you need me," Jeonghan surprised himself with the words that had escaped his lips.

"Please, stay as long as you want. I want to make it up to you for all these years."

"I'll call mom, she probably won't be happy but then again I'm no longer a child who has to answer to his mother for everything."

He did just that, a short phone call with his mother using his firmest tone he managed to get his mother on board because again she didn't want to stand in the way of someone's dying wish -- she was petty, she wasn't a monster. His mother had his bags delivered to the Kim estate during the evening and by then Jeonghan and his father had gotten to know each other rather well. They had very few things in common however there was the fact that both were big fans of sleep, anywhere and any time.

"Jeonghan-shi it's time to go, your father needs to take his medicine and rest," Jisoo entered the room.

"I'll be back to visit tomorrow, " Jeonghan gave his father's hand a squeeze before following Jisoo out of the room.

Jisoo lead him to his new quarters which was one floor above his father's. Judging by the music and noises coming from the corridor they were walking down he wasn't the only inhabitants on that certain floor. As he walked further down the corridor he could hear the sounds of a piano playing and then footsteps moving rhythmically at the next door. Finally reaching the end Jisoo gestured to the door on the left.

"This is going to be your room, all of your brothers live on this floor. Jihoon's room is at the front, Soonyoung's is the one in the middle and you are here opposite Mingyu."

Mingyu, the one with the multiple personality disorder who had unknown triggers, was opposite his room. Great. He looked at Mingyu's door cautiously before entering his own room. It was nice, spacious and warm but the feeling of anxiety was back. The urge to run had been in his mind since he came to the house yet he just couldn't pick out exactly why he was so antsy. Sure one of his half brothers was slightly unstable but the guy wasn't a serial killer plus they hadn't even met. Jeonghan shook the thought from his mind and said goodbye to Jisoo before locking the door behind him. He wasn't ready to deal with anyone yet. He needed some space, maybe a nap or even just a good eight hour beauty sleep -- boy did he love sleep. Before he managed to do anything else a quick knock on his door caught his attention. He quickly went to open it and found two people standing side by side. One was average height with black hair and eyes that slanted upwards and cheeks that weren't completely free from childhood babyfat. The other was a head shorter sporting a bright head of pink hair and looked rather cute Jeonghan thought. They were both looking at him with mouths slightly agape.

"Can I help you?" Jeonghan asked, lips curling in amusement.

"H-hi, um, you're Jeonghan right?" The one with the slanted eyes smiled sheepishly.

"Yes, and you are?" Jeonghan raised a brow.

"Oh right! I'm Soonyoung and this is Jihoon we're uh...your brothers!" The one with the slanted eyes pointed to himself then his brother.

"Hello Soonyoung, Jihoon," Jeonghan acknowledged the boys respectively.

"You weren't what I was expecting," Soonyoung scratched his head, cheeks turning pink as his brother's hair.

"What were you expecting?" Jeonghan was curious.

"Well, since the old man said you were his eldest we were kind of expecting someone a lot more...intimidating," Jihoon admitted.

"Well sorry to disappoint you boys," Jeonghan laughed.

"No no! Don't take it the wrong way! I just thought you were really pretty, I mean, handsome but also beautiful-"

"Damn it Soonyoung, stop before you implode," Jihoon cut off his brother with a hand over the boy's mouth.

"I think you're pretty too," Jeonghan laughed, he found his younger brothers quite endearing. "I heard you two produce and choreograph, impressive."

Jeonghan welcomed the two younger boys into his room and made an effort to get to know his siblings, well, half siblings. Jeonghan discovered that the two brothers' mom was a retired Broadway actress, music and performance vertually ran through their veins. Soonyoung insisted on showing Jeonghan his dancing and of course Jeonghan obliged because he was weak against donsaengs -- it was impossible for him to say no to little ones no matter the gap in age. It was his biggest weakness. He was shocked at how well the two adjusted to having a new sibling and was even more surprised when Soonyoung began casually calling him 'Jeonghannie-hyung.' That was new.

"Come and visit the company some time, I can show you my music...if you want to that is," Jihoon said, eyes downcasted.

"I would love that," Jeonghan smiled, Jihoon was adorable when he was shy but Jeonghan didn't want to tease the boy just yet -- he could wait.

"We'll let you get some rest, I know you're probably tired from your flight. We can give you a tour of the house tomorrow!" Soonyoung ushered himself and Jihoon out of the room.

"Sure, looking forward to it," Jeonghan was genuinely excited.

Shutting the door again behind him Jeonghan got ready for bed. He entered the private bathroom washing away the day and he thanked the heavens for hot water and his favourite Kerastase shampoo. The sweet smell permiated the room making him feel nice and refreshed. He pulled on a pair of loose pyjama bottoms and white t shirt ready to do his favourite thing, sleep. To his dismay another knock at the door sent him walking over to answer it. Why did the heavens enjoy preventing him from enjoying his beauty sleep? Jeonghan opened the door to a dark figure standing in the corridor. He wore a dark suit with short hair styled to effortless perfection and sunkissed skin that exuded a healthy glow. Unlike Soonyoung and Jihoon this person's features were all severe angles from the sharp jawline to the high cheekbones. The person's piercing black eyes staring at him as if he was looking into Jeonghan's soul. That was when the unease began seeping in. Jeonghan felt his heartbeat quicken and his urge to run return tenfold but he couldn't move, he was a deer in headlights.

"So you're the elusive big brother the old man's been demanding to see," Jeonghan felt the hairs on the back of his neck raise, the figure's voice was very low.

"Um, who are you?" Jeonghan asked.

"Mingyu."

"Ah, the crazy one," Jeonghan felt his eye twitch, oops, he probably shouldn't have phrased it that way -- it was too late now.

"So the old man's already given you the whole backstory?" Mingyu raised a brow.

Jeonghan took a step back as Mingyu came closer. Mingyu stepped around him and proceeded to walk into his room eyeing the decor before his dark eyes settled back on Jeonghan. That was when he gave Jeonghan a smile revealing gleaming white teeth with his canines in full view, it was the smile of a wolf about to swallow his prey -- Jeonghan gulped. Mingyu must've noticed Jeonghan's nervousness because suddenly he approached, closing the door trapping Jeonghan against it. Mingyu's arms pressed against the door on either side of Jeonghan's torso and the boy appeared to be quite amused, by what Jeonghan wasn't sure.

"You're not what I expected...hyung," Mingyu stared down at his older brother.

"Apparently I haven't met anyone's expectations today," Jeonghan joked -- he was very uncomfortable.

"You smell really good Jeonghan-hyung," Mingyu buried his face in Jeonghan's neck, the older boy let out a gasp in surprise.

"Do I?" Jeonghan asked -- Mingyu was trying an intimidation tactic.

Jeonghan made a mental note. The boy most likely enjoyed being in control. He liked striking fear into people in order to maintain that control. A very common trait held by those in high power positions. Mingyu was a classic example of someone who was hiding their vulnerability under a guise of power and confidence.

"Good enough to eat, like I could swallow you down in one bite," Mingyu whispered.

That was when Jeonghan let out a yelp, Mingyu had bitten him. MINGYU. BIT. HIM. Jeonghan was too shocked to even react so he stood frozen as Mingyu pushed himself away with a smug grin on his face. The boy opened the door and turned to look at Jeonghan once more. He looked his older brother up and down licking his lips, he didn't look at all flustered -- the same couldn't be said about Jeonghan.

"Be careful Jeonghannie-hyung, you might just get eaten if you're careless," Mingyu chuckled before disappearing into his room just across the corridor.

"Ouch," Jeonghan furrowed his brow clapping a hand over the area Mingyu had bitten.

He pulled back his hand and felt his lip curl in disdain when he saw that his fingers were stained red. Mingyu had broken through skin. Jeonghan was not happy. He'd delt with his fair share of insanity while doing his psychology degree but he'd never come across anyone who'd actually lashed out and bitten him. He stared at Mingyu's closed door from the threshold and folded his arms over his chest.

The younger brother he'd just met had bitten him and what's more the boy was making innuendos that no one should be making to a sibling let alone a sibling of the same sex. He closed his bedroom door and walked back into the bathroom where he pressed a damp towel against his neck. Mingyu was definitely crazy, there was no doubt in Jeonghan's mind. He stood leaning against the sink and stared vaguely into the mirror, there were so many questions running through his mind. What lead Mingyu to become that way? What did his mother do to him?

"What happened to you, Kim Mingyu?" Jeonghan mumbled to himself as he looked down at the ring of blood imprinted into the damp towel.

He was curious. Disturbed? Yes, he was but...mostly just very curious.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hey y'all!~ Chapter two is up and I am off to work. If you're curious, I work as a makeup artist and beauty advisor. Doing makeup for a whole bridal party is hard when there are like swven bridesmaids and half of them are hungover and turn up late. 
> 
> Anyway, I hope you guys enjoy and hope you don't mind the minor changes I made to Jeonghan's character in this fic. He needed some sass like his irl self.


	3. The Other Side of The Coin

Jeonghan woke up early the next morning, mainly because he didn't get much sleep at all. Thoughts of what happened with Mingyu replayed over and over in his head every time he closed his eyes. He just couldn't shake the memory no matter how hard he tried, he had so many questions. He finally gave up on sleep at around seven in the morning and decided on an early start. That in itself was quite rare since he couldn't remember a time where he'd gotten up at a reasonable hour -- maybe when he was back in school but even then he was home schooled by a tutor who catered to his schedule. He pulled on a pair of white jeans and a beige v-neck sweater before taming his blond locks into a neat ponytail. The first thing he wanted to do was go see his father, that was the reason why he was staying in the first place he convinced himself and not for the younger brother who tried to actually eat him yesterday night. He touched his neck and hissed, the area was still tender.

He knocked on his father's bedroom door and entered. The older man was sat upright in his bed with a tray of food in his lap. He'd barely eaten any of his food. Jeonghan's concern immediately grew.

"Jeonghan! Come here my boy," his father welcomed him in while taking sips from a mug.

"Dad, I have a question...well...several questions," Jeonghan took a seat in the stool by the bed.

"It's Mingyu isn't it?"

"How did you know?"

"More often than not that boy is usually at the centre of a problem. The condition Mingyu has is complicated, he has two people living inside of him Jeonghan. We've had him diagnosed and seen by various specialists but they all gave the same results, they think this will be a lifelong condition. Mingyu's darker personality is the "protector" which manifested as a way to cope with his mother's abuse. He's a little intimidating but that just means he's scared. I promise you he'll start to become a lot nicer once he gets used to you... or when his other personality is present. He can be quite sweet."

"Does Mingyu have any other quirks?" Jeonghan pushed.

"He is quite the lady's man but I don't think that would qualify as a quirk."

"Hm," Jeonghan nodded.

"Why? Has he done something to you Jeonghan?" His father's tone serious.

"No, no, I think I'm just not used to his...intensity," Jeonghan lied.

"Ah yes, the boy's got a mean look on him which is exactly why I liked bringing him to board meetings. It really helped getting people to sign papers," his father gave a breathy laugh.

"How many specialists has he seen? Do you know?" Jeonghan asked as he pushed the bowl of rice into his father's palm -- the man needed to eat more.

"I've lost count a long time ago," his father sighed. "I've tried therapists, psychologists and even went down the route of hypnosis out of desperation."

"None of the suggested treatments have worked? Not even one?" Jeonghan furrowed his brow.

The older man shook his head.

"Does Mingyu have a history of violence? Does he have regular outbursts or show signs of aggression?" Jeonghan wanted to know as much as he could, the psychology student in him was so intrigued.

"He hasn't shown aggressive behaviour as much as he used to. He had a habit of biting when I first got custody of him, he hated being touched and he used to leave bitemarks on all of his toys. The therapist who was observing him at that time said it was his way of marking things as his."

"Interesting," Jeonghan said, apparently he'd been marked -- fuck.

"Sir, it's time for your treatment," a woman came into the room.

"Go and explore the house Jeonghan, get some fresh air too while you're at it son," his father patted his hand. "We can talk later."

As promised he was taken on a tour of the house. Soonyoung and Jihoon took him on a tour of which lasted longer than Jeonghan thought, mainly due to Soonyoung having a little story to go along with every room of the house. To Jeonghan it was just a house but to the boys this was where they made memories and called home. He was so very jealous. Once they were back in the foyer Soonyoung's smile faultered. Jeonghan followed his gaze to the top of the staircase where Mingyu stood wearing pyjama bottoms and a plain black singlet.

"Hey Mingyu," Jihoon waved, looking just as flustered as Soonyoung was.

"Morning, you guys off to work yet?" Mingyu replied but he sounded different, almost like he was a different person.

"Thank fuck it's the nice Mingyu," Soonyoung said under his breath but Jeonghan caught it.

"We're leaving soon, what are you up to?" Jihoon answered looking down at his wrist watch.

"Not much, is this Jeonghan?" Mingyu came down the stares, steps clumsy unlike yesterday.

"Yeah, Jeonghan this is Mingyu, our youngest," Jihoon gestured.

"Hi Mingyu," Jeonghan smiled hiding the fact that he had met the boy's other half yesterday night.

"You're really pretty hyung, really pretty," Jeonghan thought he saw a sudden glint in the boy's eyes but he pushed it aside, he probably imagined it.

"Thank you."

"You guys have a good time at work, me and Jeonghan-hyung can have some time to familiarize ourselves," Mingyu waved off his brothers.

Before anyone could object Mingyu had slid an arm around his waist and directed them towards the staircase. Jeonghan didn't even get a chance to say goodbye to Soonyoung or Jihoon but he did manage to see the concerned looks the fraternal twins gave each other, that was not a good sign in Jeonghan's eyes. Before he knew it he was ushered into Mingyu's room. He was hesitant but he put on a brave face as the younger boy pulled him along to sit on his bed. They sat crosslegged facing one another, Mingyu's masculine scent mixed with an intoxicating cologne was very enticing. Jeonghan mentally slapped himself -- Mingyu was his brother, that was do wrong.

"Hyung, I heard you travel a lot! Where have you gone?" Mingyu asked, hair still messy from sleep.

"Well after I was born my mother took me to France, then Italy followed by a number of other European countries since she works in the fashion industry," Jeonghan's hands found themselves in Mingyu's hair smoothing out the disobedient locks -- his guard was up but it was slowly faltering.

Mingyu's eyes widened for a moment but the younger boy automatically leaned into his touch. Jeonghan didn't understand how this innocent boy was the same one who had bitten him the night before and uttered such unnerving words. Jeonghan's hands stopped stroking Mingyu's hair for a brief second as he thought about the intimidating glint the other Mingyu had in his eyes. He was so conflicted.

"Hyung," Mingyu suddenly laid his head down on Jeonghan's lap, large warm hands interlocking with his own pale digits.

"Yes?" Jeonghan cocked his head.

"Dad's already told you everything about me, hasn't he?" Mingyu squeezed Jeonghan's fingers.

"He did," Jeonghan nodded.

"You don't hate me, right?"

"No, I don't. I don't know you well enough to make that decision yet," Jeonghan answered.

"Does the thought of being around me scare you?" Mingyu's eyes bore into Jeonghan's.

Jeonghan felt very sad for Mingyu. The poor boy lived in fear of himself. His father had told him about the more fragile personality of Mingyu being rather childish as he'd never really gotten much affection or attention as a child. The Mingyu who was currently holding his hand was a little boy who just wanted approval.

"I'd be lying if I said I wasn't," Jeonghan said truthfully but he tightened his grip on Mingyu's fingers.

"Soonyoung and Jihoon don't really like me very much because of my...my...other self and I don't think they care much about this side of me either. I feel like I've already taken advantage of your patience already," Mingyu bit his lip. "It's okay if you want to distance yourself from me after this. I fully understand. I don't want to be near myself on most days."

"Oh on the contrary, I want to spend more time with you. I'm quite intrigued by you if I'm quite honest. I want to understand you...both of you," Jeonghan ruffled the younger boy's hair. "I always wanted a younger brother, now I have three."

"Really?" Mingyu was taken aback.

"Yeah, let me spoil you," Jeonghan ran his free hand through Mingyu's smooth black locks.

That was when the shift happened. Jeonghan's hand was seized by Mingyu's strong grip. He was pushed down into a lying position and felt the weight as Mingyu climbed to straddle his torso. Powerful thighs trapped him while his arms were pinned on either side of his head -- shit. Jeonghan's eyes were wide with shock as he looked into the eyes of the younger brother who now had them narrowed and trained on him.

"Spoil me to your heart's content Jeonghannie-hyung," this Mingyu was not the sweet boy he was holding in his arms.

"I'm your brother," Jeonghan reminded him -- he was shocked but he wasn't scared, well, maybe a little.

"You're my brother," Mingyu smirked as if he was a small child stealing cookies from the jar, it was scandalous to him.

Mingyu leaned in closing the already small gap between them. He could feel the warm breath mingling with his own and began to panic as he tried to free himself from Mingyu's grasp. It didn't work, the younger boy was strong, very strong. Just like that it was too late, Mingyu took Jeonghan's mouth with pure ferocity. The kiss was scalding and Jeonghan was at Mingyu's mercy, he felt like the boy was trying to rob him of his very essence. Jeonghan managed to separate their lips to gulp in some air and at that moment Mingyu froze. Jeonghan watched the lustful eyes morph into shock and then distress. Mingyu immediately untangled himself from Jeonghan as he moved to stand on the opposite side of the room. He had both hands on the side of his head shaking vigorously.

"I'm sorry hyung! I'm so sorry! I tried to stop him, hyung! I tried! He's so scary hyung! I can't control him! I don't even know when he's in control hyung!"

"Mingyu," Jeonghan breathed as he sat up.

"I'm so sorry! I didn't want this to happen hyung! He did it, not me, it was him!" Mingyu's eyes were watering.

"Mingyu please calm down!" Jeonghan tried to move closer to the distraught boy.

"Please don't hate me! Please don't hate me! I...I...I'm so sorry!" Just like that Mingyu ran from the room.

"Mingyu!" Jeonghan called after him but the boy never returned.

Jeonghan touched his lips remembering the sensation of kissing Mingyu. He ran a hand through his hair and took several deep breaths to keep himself from getting emotional. He'd kissed his brother and the sick part was he couldn't shake away the fact that those lips had been so very soft despite the ferocity. Jeonghan lowered his head in shame thinking of how he could possibly repair his relationship with Mingyu as brothers -- he probably couldn't. He walked back into his own room and locked the door behind him.

"What is wrong with me?" Jeonghan mumbled to himself.

He was beginning to think Mingyu wasn't the only one who was crazy. Maybe it was he himself who was in need of help. A psychology student in need of psychological help, oh the irony. Jeonghan laughed at how messed up his situation was as he collapsed backwards onto the bed. When his phone vibrated on the nightstand he picked up right away. It was his mother.

"Hi, darling," the woman's melodic voice chimed.

"Hi, mom," Jeonghan cleared his throat trying his best to sound normal.

"Are you doing okay? Is everything alright? Are you adjusting to everything?" His mother's questions came right after the other.

"I'm fine, mom," Jeonghan lied. "Everything's great."

"That's good to hear, if anything makes you feel uncomfortable just let me know and I'll bust you out of there," the conviction in his mother's voice made Jeonghan smile.

"Mom, it's not a prison. I'll be fine."

"You have been by my side for the last twenty-one years of my life, Yoon Jeonghan. You have not been out of my sight since then, can you really blame me for worrying?"

"When you put it that way it just reminds me of how sheltered I am, I'm a mamma's boy through and through," Jeonghan chuckled.

"I have to get back to work but promise me you'll take care of yourself, if you've lost even a pound of weight I'm breaking you out of there and taking you back," his mother said as the sound of rustling paper accompanied his voice.

"I'll keep that in mind, mom," Jeonghan said before hanging up.

Jeonghan loved his mother very much. He stared blankly at the phone in his hand for a long while before he threw it onto the mattress. He was lucky enough to be raised by a woman who loved him unconditionally...unlike Mingyu. He laid down and folded his arms behind his head. Mingyu probably never had a bedtime story read to him or had a proper home cooked meal prepared by his mother. Jeonghan suddenly felt very sorry for his younger sibling. The boy must've missed out on so many things as a child, maybe that was why his 'nicer' self was so very timid and soft spoken -- those were all personality traits of someone who'd been oppressed for most of their life. Jeonghan mentally slapped himself a second time that day, he had to remind himself that Mingyu wasn't some psychological case study. Mingyu was his brother and he needed to treat the younger boy like one even if the boy was crazy. He just didn't know if they were going to be able to reconcile after what just happened.

"What am I going to do with you, Mingyu?" Jeonghan sighed.

He still had so many unanswered questions.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hello!~ Hope y'all are enjoying the reupload so far!~ 
> 
> I'm working as fast as I can to get more chapters out so bear with me!~ I promise to have the whole story up within the next few weeks!~


	4. The Mistake

The days that followed were...quiet. Jeonghan floated around the Kim estate aimlessly with his only source of human interaction being his father. He could've gone out but then again he knew no one in Seoul and the idea of wandering the city on his own was just depressing. He'd thought about visiting his mother at work but considering the amount of stress she was under he decided against it -- she probably wasn't in any mood to chat over tea and biscuits. Jihoon and Soonyoung were busy preparing a comeback for one of their company's artists so they weren't around to distract him from his thoughts either. It seemed Mingyu did everything he could to avoid crossing paths with Jeonghan and Jeonghan in turn allowed it to happen. Jeonghanhad made attempts to talk by knocking on the boy's door occasionally to see if he was there but every time he was met with silence, the boy was either out or ignoring him -- Jeonghan didn't know what hurt more.

Over the days he discovered that taking strolls really helped clear his head. It sounded so very cliché but fresh air and exercise genuinely made him feel better. He dressed himself in a pair of trackpants and a loose t-shirt before he headed out. Just as he reached the bottom of the staircase he was met with a young man dressed in a dark suit, dark hair and eyelashes so long you would think they distorted his vision. The person must've noticed him as well as they simply stared at each other before Jeonghan got a hold of himself.

"Hi, are you looking for someone?" Jeonghan asked as he approached the newcomer.

"Um yes, I'm Choi Seungcheol, I work for Mr. Kim Daehan and I was looking for him to discuss some things about the company," Choi Seungcheol said before bowing.

"Oh okay, well he's just up the stairs to your right, it should be the last door at the end of the hall," Jeonghan gestured.

"Thank you..." Seungcheol waited for a name.

"Jeonghan, Yoon Jeonghan."

"You're Daehan-shi's son?" Seungchol's mouth fell open but he quickly closed it.

"Yes and I would love to chat but I have to head out, lovely meeting you Seungcheol-shi," Jeonghan smiled.

"You too," Seungcheol held out a hand.

Jeonghan took it and the two shook hands, it lasted a lot longer than any handshake he'd ever had but he kept that to himself. Seungcheol's lingering gaze told Jeonghan the man was either fascinated or attracted -- possibly both. Jeonghan gave Seungcheol nothing. He had far too many things going on in his life and he didn't have time for any more complications, even if Seungcheol was handsome. And smelt of expensive cologne. As he moved toward the exit Jeonghan swore he saw the a figure move from the corner of his eye. He turned his attention to the top of the staircase but there was no one there. With a final look over his shoulder he walked out the door.

As he exited the front gate Jeonghan caught sight of a black car quickly disappear down the road, wheels screeching as the vehicle turned. He thought it was strange but brushed if off as his paranoia playing tricks on him. His experiences from the past week was making him all too antsy, he was definitely overthinking. Jeonghan stuck his hands inside his pockets and pushed forward and proceeded with his leisurely walk.  
___________________________________________________________________________________________________________________

Once he returned, Jeonghan entered the gates of the Kim estate to see Seungcheol exiting the front doors. The young man must've noticed him as well because a smile lit his features as Jeonghan approached. He stood and waited until Jeonghan was in close proximity before uttering a hello.

"Jeonghan-shi, I'll be leaving now."

"It was nice meeting you today," Jeonghan nodded.

"Come and visit the company some time Jeonghan-shi, I can give you a VIP tour of the place," Seungcheol suggested.

"Ah, Soonyoung and Jihoon also mentioned a company tour to me once," Jeonghan remembered.

"They're really busy with promotions at the moment so feel free to contact me instead," Seungcheol handed Jeonghan his business card.

Jeonghan looked at the simple white business card with Seungcheol's name and phone number printed in black. According to the card he was the 'Chief Operations Officer' of Seventeen Records, one seat below his father...interesting. Jeonghan slipped the business card into his pocket and thanked Seungcheol.

"I'll be waiting for your call, Jeonghan," Jeonghan noticed he'd left off the 'shi' at the end of his name -- becoming informal already?

"I'll see if I'm free," Jeonghan returned a sensual smile.

Seungcheol held out his hand. Jeonghan took it but this time Seungcheol made no effort to hide the fact that he was interested. The man rubbed his thumb over the back of Jeonghan's hand before inspecting the blond's long elegant fingers. Jeonghan stepped back to see Seungcheol giving him a sheepish grin.

"I think I should get going," Seungcheol sheepishly rubbed his head and began walking towards his car.

"Yeah," Jeonghan turned on his heel and walked into the house, not once turning to look back at Seungcheol. "I hope you get back safe."

He made a beeline for his room, walking swiftly up the stairs and down the corridor to his room. Reaching his door he noticed it was opened at an angle but thought nothing of it as the housekeepers usually came in to take his dirty laundry. He went inside the room and closed the door behind him. The room was beginning to darken from the sunset but Jeonghan felt no need to turn on the lights just yet, it had been awhile since he'd enjoyed a sunset. He let his room be bathed in the warm reds and oranges as they morphed into blue and black. He took off his t-shirt in one swift motion revealing pale unblemished skin, the cool air of his room causing him to shiver. At that moment he heard his door lock with a click. He immediately turned his attention toward the door, eyes zeroing in on the one responsible for the door locking. Mingyu, it was Mingyu.

"Mingyu, what are you doing?" Jeonghan asked, t-shirt clutched to his chest to hide his nudity.

"You looked rather happy with Seungcheol just now," Mingyu was taking slow steps toward him.

"It's common courtesy to be nice when meeting someone, Mingyu."

"He touched you," Mingyu had that glint in his eyes, it was the dangerous Mingyu.

Jeonghan didn't like that look.

"It was just a hug and a handshake, Mingyu," Jeonghan was getting frustrated and he was becoming more antsy the closer Mingyu came.

"I don't want others touching you, I don't want you touching anyone but me," Mingyu stood right in front of him.

"I haven't heard from you in a week and this is what you have to say?"

"You promised me I would be your one and only."

"What? Mingyu, when have I ever said such a thing?" His younger brother was delusional.

"You don't remember?" Mingyu's hands formed into fists.

"Remember what?" Jeonghan bit the inside of his cheek.

"Since you don't remember I will make sure to give you something you will never forget."

Jeonghan silently cursed. Mingyu wasn't giving him anything to work with, none of what the boy was saying made any sense. They might as well have been talking in two different languages.

He stood still as Mingyu eyed him up and down making him conscious of the fact that he was very much naked from the waist up. He tried to back away to put his shirt back on but was immediately restrained by Mingyu's arm around his waist. The younger boy's warm hand rubbing up and down his spine sending shivers all over Jeonghan's body. Mingyu's breath became heavy and his eyes were narrowed in arousal. That was when Jeonghan began to struggle. He tried his best in freeing himself but he couldn't, his younger brother was strong and that terrified him to no end.

"Mingyu please, calm down," Jeonghan shook his head and reached out to hold the boy's face in his hands. The younger boy was directed him over to his bed. "Think about what you're doing."

"I know exactly what I'm doing, hyung," Mingyu whispered in his brother's ear.

Jeonghan squeezed his eyes shut, using the endearment against him was so unfair. Mingyu peppered his neck with sweet kisses mixed with aggressive bites and tender nibbles, it was all too much. Jeonghan faught, he kicked and shouted but he just couldn't break free. The aggressiveness kisses mixed with the gentleness of Mingyu's caresses was confusing him beyond belief. Jeonghan felt himself surrendering several times as if his body was telling him to just give in and accept his fate.

"Mingyu please, I'm begging you just let me go. We can still go back if you stop now," Jeonghan's voice was barely audible.

"Fun fact about this room of yours is that it's soundproof," Mingyu whispered in his ear.

"Mingyu," Jeonghan shook his head.

"I'm not letting you go," Mingyu replied.

Mingyu pinned Jeonghan's arms above his head making quick work of his trackpants. His pants were yanked off in one smooth motion and thrown on the floor. Jeonghan had never felt so embarrassed or humiliated in his entire life. Mingyu's breathing was heavy and he had that same look of hunger as the night they met. He ran a free hand down Jeonghan's chest past the boy's stomach and stroking right down to his thigh.

"You really are so beautiful," Mingyu licked his lips.

"What are you trying to do?" Jeonghan shook his head vigorously.

Mingyu didn't hear him, it was as if he was possessed. He moved Jeonghan around so effortlessly to the point where you would think Jeonghan was a rag doll rather than a human being. He spread Jeonghan's legs and got into position, a position which could only mean one thing. Jeonghan screamed. Mingyu had started his slow entrance into Jeonghan all the while whispering words into Jeonghan's ear.

"You are my angel, mine alone Yoon Jeonghan. This body will only ever know and remember me."

"Mingyu..." Jeonghan felt Mingyu's thumb swipe away the tears that stained his cheeks.

He was being violated by his younger sibling and yet he couldn't feel any sort of anger bubbling up inside him. Instead he felt an overwhelming sadness. Jeonghan gasped as Mingyu pushed the rest of the way inside him filling him completely. His younger brother looked down where their bodies joined and then up at Jeonghan's face. The boy gave no warning before he began thrusting. It was raw and animalistic the way Mingyu took Jeonghan. Mingyu's pace was relentless causing Jeonghan to beg for mercy. Jeonghan begged and begged but it fell on deaf ears.

"Jeonghan," Mingyu's low voice called out his name in ecstasy.

The sinful act went on for longer than Jeonghan was willing to accept. Mingyu was an insatiable beast who took and took. Jeonghan had given up fighting the boy at all, he hated himself more after admitting that, yes, sex with Mingyu felt good but it was so very wrong. He had lost count of the amount of times Mingyu had released inside him, he felt even more humiliated that he could feel the semen dripping out of him every time he moved. By the time dawn had arrived the two laid naked sleeping side by side. Mingyu had Jeonghan scooped up close in his arms, his face burrowed into his older brother's neck while possessive arms curled around his body like vines. Even in sleep Mingyu was very strong, Jeonghan couldn't break free if he tried -- and he did try. Jeonghan was the first to wake up and the memories all flooded back fresh and scalding.

"What have we done?" Jeonghan covered his face with his hands.

When Mingyu finally turned in his sleep Jeonghan managed to slip away. He swung his legs over the side of the bed and looked down at his feet where clothing was strewn, evidence of what they had done the night before. Jeonghan felt the tears returning, letting out silent sobs as all of the memories of the night before returning in waves. He was about to get up when he felt a warm chest lean against his back and familiar bronze arms circling his waist. Mingyu was awake.

"I'm sorry hyung, I tried to keep him away, I tried," Mingyu's voice was trembling, this wasn't the Mingyu who had violated him.

Jeonghan felt warm breath on his back as Mingyu cried with him. He felt the hot tears drip down his back and the trembling fingers trying to prevent him from leaving. Jeonghan wanted to be angry at the boy clinging to him, he wished he could feel anger toward the boy but he didn't. The boy currently crying and kissing his shoulder wasn't the one who did those humiliating things to him, that was the other side of the coin. Jeonghan stood up, turning to face the naked boy on the bed whose face was stained by tears and eyes bloodshot red. Mingyu looked so helpless, Jeonghan had never seen his younger brother look more like a child than in this moment -- it broke his heart.

"Please don't hate me," Mingyu whispered looking into his eyes.

"Come here," Jeonghan spread his arms, he could probably never hate Mingyu.

"Hyung," Mingyu began sobbing without restraint.

"We're both insane," Jeonghan held Mingyu against his chest.

Mingyu pulled Jeonghan onto the bed resting his head in the crook of his hyung's neck. The younger boy inhaled his older brother's scent not once letting go of his waist. Jeonghan smoothed his hands up and down Mingyu's broad back and massaging the boy's scalp. This fragile side of Mingyu was so very hard for someone like him to ignore. The more he stroked and consoled the boy in his arms the less he remembered about the night before. It was strange how Mingyu was his nightmare as well as his sweet dream.

"Let me fix it, I want to fix everything he did," Mingyu's tone changed, it was still his sweet Mingyu but he sounded...determined.

"Mingyu," Jeonghan began shaking his head.

"Please, hyung," Mingyu really did know how to manipulate his pushover of a hyung.

Jeonghan closed his eyes and began to back away. One of them had to be the stronger one. He was about to start walking away but was once again stopped by a shaky hand on his. Mingyu wasn't going to make things any easier than they already were. They'd only met each other a week ago, now here they were committing such an act between siblings with their father staying in the same house. Jeonghan mentally screamed, he was so very done. He missed his old life free of complications.

"Hyung," Mingyu begged again.

"What are you doing to me?" Jeonghan cupped the boy's face in his hands before pulling it towards his.

Their kiss this time was sweet, so very sweet. This side of Mingyu was clumsy and it showed in the way he kissed. Mingyu's hands were timid at first as they roamed the curves of Jeonghan's slender back but they quickly became more daring as he felt those warm hands travel down to his rear and smoothing over the globes of his ass. Mingyu seemed to quite like his rump as they stayed there while the two peppered each other with kisses.

"Hyung," Mingyu whispered as he pressed his arousal against Jeonghan's thigh.

"I truly am insane," Jeonghan let out a bitter laugh.

"Then we're perfect for each other, aren't we?" Mingyu nibbled at his earlobe, Jeonghan moaned.

Mingyu watched as his hyung wrapped slender arms around his neck and straddled his lap. The younger boy watched in amazement at the sensual pale body in front of him getting into position. His hyung kept eye contact with him as he began sliding himself onto Mingyu's length, taking it slow all the while giving the younger boy front row seats to every erotic sound and expression. Mingyu's breathing became heavy the deeper he went into Jeonghan, his hyung was so tight. Mingyu's eyes pressed shut when his hyung gave his arousal a teasing squeeze with his lower half -- his hyung was the devil, he was no angel.

"I'll erase everything he did to you, hyung," Mingyu promised.

"Actions speak louder than words, Kim Mingyu," Jeonghan gave his precious brother an innocent peck on the lips.

At that Mingyu began his mission of erasing everything his other self had done the night before to his hyung. Mingyu had every intention of going slow and being extra gentle but at the same time when he had someone like Yoon Jeonghan all to himself how could he possibly go slow. He licked his lips as he began thrusting upwards into his hyung who was still straddling his lap. That was when the voice came.

'Beautiful isn't he? The way he looks at you through those half-closed eyes and that sweet voice. You're just as bad as I am.' His other self laughed mockingly.

'You forced him you bastard.' Mingyu shot back.

'Be careful with your tone, I can take over at any given moment.' The voice of his darker self suddenly aggressive.

'He'll never forgive you.' Mingyu rebuked.

His darker self didn't reply, there was absolute silence. Mingyu smiled, he'd won this round against himself -- that would've sounded rather strange out of context. Mingyu buried his face in the crook of his hyung's neck inhaling the sweet scent that seemed to emulate from the older boy. The smell of Yoon Jeonghan was so very intoxicating. Mingyu knew in every fibre of his being that what they were doing was so wrong but it just felt so right, maybe he really was just as bad as his other self or even worse. Jeonghan was letting out such delicious sounds as they moved together and Mingyu was enjoying every second of it. He was so close and he could tell Jeonghan was too. The two never broke eye contact, they looked at each other with such intensity it looked like they were trying to see into each other's souls.

"You will be the death of me, Kim Mingyu," Jeonghan cradled the boy's face in his hands, rubbing a thumb over the parted lips -- he meant what he said, every word.

Mingyu roared into his climax and pulled Jeonghan against his chest. He released all he had into his hyung and his hyung in turn covered his stomach in his own release. Mingyu didn't pull out after that, he simply kept them connected as the two held each other as if the other was the only thing tethering them to Earth. They stayed like that in absolute silence both too scared to make the first move -- they were both unwilling to face the reality ahead of them.

"Come on, Mingyu," Jeonghan finally broke the silence.

He slid out of Mingyu's arms and pulled the boy along into the bathroom where he began drawing water into the bathtub. While the tub filled he ushered Mingyu into the shower and helped the younger boy rinse off the sweat and other bodily fluids from their recent activities and proceeded to wash his own. Mingyu watched with his mouth open as he saw his seed dripping out from Jeonghan's pale perky rear. Jeonghan looked up to see Mingyu drooling, his younger brother seemed to like seeing his ass after being completely ravished.

"Follow me," Jeonghan lead Mingyu like a small child.

He climbed in the now filled bathtub and wriggled his finger. Mingyu enthusiastically climbed in after him and settled into position between his legs. Jeonghan pampered Mingyu from head to toe, washing his hair, scrubbing his body and giving the boy all the kisses he wanted.

'His mother was both an abusive parent as well as a narcissistic woman. She gave herself all that money could afford but Mingyu was practically starving when I found him. Don't let his size now fool you, the boy was all skin and bones and he'd never gotten an ounce of love from that bitch if a mother. He's desperate for attention which is why he surrounds himself with women.' Jeonghan remembered his father's words very well, he was going to do his best to make it up for all the years he wasn't there for his younger brother.

"Hyung," Mingyu asked while rubbing Jeonghan's leg under the water.

"Yes?" Jeonghan kissed Mingyu's nape.

"How do you feel about my...other self?" Mingyu sounded so very nervous.

"I would be lying if I said I didn't find him scary. He's very...strong. Yes, he did force himself on me last night but he didn't break me nor did I come out of it feeling at all angry, I just felt sad, very sad."

Jeonghan saw Mingyu's body twitch and stiffen and immediately went back to being calm as he rested against Jeonghan's chest. Mingyu seemed to be in deep thought or he was having an inner battle with himself, Jeonghan guessed it was the latter as Mingyu let out a frustrated sigh before rubbing a hand over his face.

"What am I going to do now? I come to visit my estranged father, gain three younger brothers and I decide to sleep with one of them who is barely legal," Jeonghan shook his head at the all too bitter reality, the cloudy daydream of their sweet lovemaking starting to disappear. "This feels like some badly written script of a daytime drama. It's fucking ridiculous."

"It's not your fault, hyung," Mingyu turned to face him. "I'm the root of the problem."

"Mingyu, I'm the older one here, I shouldn't be making these kind of mistakes. I-I enjoyed it. I shouldn't have."

"Do you hate me?"

"I don't hate you, I hate the circumstances."

"I'm so sorry," Mingyu slid to the opposite side of the tub.

"Go and get dressed, Mingyu. It's a school day," Jeonghan's tone becoming authoritative.

"Hyung-"

"I'll help you get ready," Jeonghan gave the boy a sad smile if there ever was one.

"I promise to keep this a secret, I'll...I'll...I'll go back to just being your younger brother if you want," Mingyu got out of the tub, not turning back as he dried himself with a towel.

"That would hurt you even more, wouldn't it?" Jeonghan watched Mingyu's back curl inwards, he was right.

"As long as you're happy," Mingyu whispered but his body language wasn't hiding anything from Jeonghan.

"Let this be our secret Mingyu, just between you and me," Jeonghan watched Mingyu turn revealing a hopeful expression.

"Really?" Mingyu's expression shifting.

"No one will know about this, do you understand?" Jeonghan's brows drew together but quickly softened. "We're equally fucked up, I'm completely aware of that. Let's not get anyone else involved in this."

"I'm the only one whose fucked up. You just have too much patience," Mingyu knelt beside the tub.

"Go get dressed or you'll be late for school," Jeonghan kissed Mingyu's forehead.

Jeonghan wrapped himself in a robe and made himself comfortable on the armchair by the window of his room. He allowed his mind to wonder as he stared out at the green courtyard below, trying his hardest to block out the voice of reason that was telling him everything that was wrong with what he had done. He was brought out of his daydream by a soft peck on the cheek and a hand under his chin guiding his face. Mingyu had gotten changed, the boy's neatly pressed uniform reminding Jeonghan that he was still just that, a boy. A boy who couldn't control his inner demons.

"I'll be going now," Mingyu frowned.

"I'll be here when you come back," Jeonghan smiled up at his lovesick puppy.

Mingyu didn't respond, instead he knelt at Jeonghan's feet and pressed the length of his torso against Jeonghan's chest. The boy seemed to be quite fond of his scent as he felt the deep inhales and exhales in the crook of his neck, his younger brother really enjoyed hiding himself there. Of course Jeonghan made no protest as he found it quite endearing that his full grown sibling didn't want to separate from him. Mingyu gave his neck an excessive amount of kisses before the boy bent upwards to deliver a final kiss to his hyung's lips. Jeonghan ran his hand through the boy's hair tidying it before waving his hand, it was getting late.

"Go before you're late," Jeonghan said.

Mingyu left after a few looks back at his hyung sitting in his armchair looking all so seductive yet angelic -- Jeonghan was an anomaly, unexplainable. The image of his older brother's wet silky blond hair clinging to an exposed chest made his mouth water. Of course Jeonghan made it worse by crossing his leg over the other revealing a long slender leg as he looked out the window, completely oblivious to the younger brother who was using every ounce of power he had to leave the room. Mingyu prayed that his older brother didn't throw him away after coming to his senses -- he didn't know what he'd do if Jeonghan left him. He didn't want to imagine what he would do, those kind of thoughts terrified him.

Once Mingyu left, Jeonghan locked the door to his bedroom and leaned against the cool wooden door. He slowly slid down onto the floor holding his head in his hands.

"How am I going to fix this?" Jeonghan mumbled to himself before rubbing his temples to calm the headache that was threatening to end him.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hi, y'all!~ Hope you enjoyed this instalment of 'My Beautiful Nightmare.' I'm so excited for BooSeokSoon's debut, I love my chubby hamster so much and the two main vocalists are so precious, they deserve so much!~ TTATT I'm like a proud mother.


	5. The Aftermath

Jeonghan watched the runway models walk back and forth on the catwalk with tired eyes while his mother's voice shrieked in the background. It was exactly one day away from the date of his mother's fashion show and she was very much on edge. Jeonghan sat in one of the seats set up for guests feeling rather amused by the models who looked like they were gazelles within sight of a lion -- they were ready to prance away at any given moment.

"Jeonghan, be a darling and get me a sparkling water, would you?" his mother pinched the bridge of her nose with a manicured hand.

Jeonghan obliged and walked over to a side table where stacks of bottled water and snacks were set up. Handing his mother her water he returned to his seat and sighed. It had been a week since he'd slept with Mingyu and every time they'd run into each other both immediately fled from each other's sight. The sweet little moments they shared in the bathtub being only a thing of memory. Jeonghan thought he was able to carry on like nothing happened and that him and Mingyu would be okay with being something a little more than just brothers but apparently both realised how wrong the situation was after the rose tinted glasses were removed and they were faced with reality. Even Soonyoung who never really caught onto anything began asking why they were so distant with each other. It started off with the uncomfortable silences as they saw each other in the corridors followed by Jeonghan's constant visits to see his mother and then, here's the kicker, Mingyu started bringing women back to his room. Jeonghan at that point stopped coming back to his dad's house at reasonable hours as he didn't want to hear what going on in Mingyu's room as he entered his own. He basically took refuge in the hustle and bustle of his mother's fashion show venue, convincing himself it was where he needed to be.

"Jeonghan! There's a Choi Seungcheol looking for you outside, should I let him in?" Chungha, his mother's assistant, walked over to him.

"Seungcheol? Sure," Jeonghan didn't see why not.

"Let him in, guys," Chungha said to the head of security through her walkie-talkie.

Jeonghan watched as Choi Seungchol walked into the room wearing a long grey coat over a wrinkle free suit. In the man's hands were a briefcase and two coffees in a cardboard holder. A smile touched his lips as he made his way towards Jeonghan. Of course Jeonghan returned the smile as they walked towards one another. He'd only texted the guy a few times since they'd met but he'd been thoroughly entertained by Seungchol every time they talked.

"Hey," Jeonghan kept smiling.

"Hey," Seungcheol returned.

"So how'd you know I was here?" Jeonghan raised a brow.

"I found out through your dad, the guy never stops talking about you," Seungcheol handed him one of the coffee cups.

"Well to be fair I'm the only one with too much free time on my hands so naturally I'd be his only form of entertainment," Jeonghan took a sip of the coffee, iced Americano nice.

"Are you free right now?" Seungcheol asked.

"Yeah, why?" Jeonghan continued sipping his coffee.

"I never got a chance to give you a tour of the company," Seungcheol smiled.

"Now?" Jeonghan looked quizzically at his friend.

"Come on, it'll be fun and you can finally go see Soonyoung and Jihoon at work," Seungcheol was really selling his proposal.

"Okay, let's go," Jeonghan agreed.

He lead Seungcheol out of the venue and told Chungha to relay the message to his mother that he was leaving, he didn't dare talk to her himself when she was close to breathing fire. Seungcheol hailed a taxi and gave the directions. The two sat in comfortable silence the whole way as the driver they were stuck with was rather...grumpy for lack of a better word. Seungcheol quickly paid using his card which Jeonghan protested to even when they had entered the building -- letting others pay hurt his pride no matter the value.

Stepping into Seventeen Records was...surreal to say the least. The marble floors were polished to perfection and everyone in the lobby moved with a purpose. Jeonghan followed Seungcheol through the lobby past the security guards standing in front of the elevators inspecting everyone who wanted to gain entrance onto the upper floors. Security simply bowed at Seungcheol already knowing full well who he was. Seungcheol scanned the tag around his neck and pressed the number for the third highest floor of the building before he turned giving Jeonghan a smile.

"Jihoon's floor," Seungcheol informed him as they waited for the elevator to reach it's destination.

They stepped out of the elevator and immediately Jeonghan was faced with walls lined with gold, silver and platinum selling records. He easily recognised some of the more recent artists on the walls one of which were soloists Boo Seungkwan and Lee Dokyeom. He was surprised to find that the popular Chinese duo Wen Junhui and Xu Minghao were under the Seventeen Label as well. He didn't know any of these big name artists at all a year ago, Seventeen Records knew how to successfully promote their artists that was for sure.

"Jihoon scouted all of them himself, he discovered Seungkwan on a tourist guide tour in Jeju and Dokyeom while he was a barista at a cafe. The boy has a keen eye for talent," Seungcheol informed him.

"How did he find Junhui and Minghao?" Jeonghan asked.

"Funny story actually, Jihoon was with your dad on a trip in Hong Kong and witnessed the two of them having a dance battle on the streets because they were fighting over a spot to busk. He sent a video to Soonyoung and offered them a spot in our training program, one year later they debuted and have gotten bigger and bigger ever since. They still have a habit of cussing in Chinese but we're working on it," Seungcheol laughed.

Seungcheol motioned for Jeonghan to come forward as they stood in front of a window in full view of Jihoon who sat behind a desk filled with all sorts of sound equipment. In the recording booth stood a handsome boy who Jeonghan thought he'd seen on television before but he couldn't be too sure. He watched as Jihoon gave the boy a cue before starting the music. Jeonghan's eyes widened at how low the boy's voice was and again was surprised at how well his rapping flowed with the melody of the music.

"Jeon Wonwoo over there is the vocal trainer and he's the writer for majority of the rap lyrics for all of our artists, don't let the sharp eyes and the low voice fool you; a lot of the time the guy wonders around singing ballads," Seungcheol assured.

"Hyung, why didn't you tell me you were coming?" Jihoon flung the door to the recording studio wide open.

"You were busy so Seungcheol offered to show me around," Jeonghan shrugged.

"Oh," Jihoon looked rather disappointed.

"I'm impressed by all your work, you've really made a name for yourself," Jeonghan smiled at his younger brother.

Jihoon didn't reply but lowered his head instead trying to hide the pink flush that touched his pale cheeks. Jeonghan wanted to pinch the crap out of them but he also didn't want to tease his younger brother too much -- he could wait. He let Jihoon go back to what he was doing and followed Seungcheol back into the elevator. They moved up another floor but this time unlike the floor below loud music and shuffling footsteps consumed the space. Seungcheol lead Jeonghan to an open door that lead to a dance studio. Inside he saw a very sweaty Soonyoung dressed in baggy shorts and a t-shirt instructing a younger looking boy. They moved with such fluidity that Jeonghan was left watching with his mouth hanging open.

"The boy next to Soonyoung is our latest debut project. His name's Lee Chan and Soonyoung found him dancing to a Michael Jackson song in a restaurant with his friends. Soonyoung offered him an audition and now he's preparing for his debut," Seungcheol leant against the doorframe.

"Jeonghannie-hyung!" Jeonghan's conditioned response to Soonyoung's cry was to open his arms.

Of course the younger boy thought very little about the consequences as he leaped right onto Jeonghan like monkey. Jeonghan took a handkerchief out of his pocket and wiped away the sweat on Soonyoung's brow the best he could and gave the boy a hug not caring about the dampness of his younger brother in the slighest. Soonyoung had Jeonghan wrapped around his finger and he knew it.

"Don't work yourself too hard and make sure to drink plenty of water. Have you been sleeping enough hours? Did you have dinner yet?" Jeonghan bombarded the younger boy with questions all the while wiping the boy with his handkerchief.

"Hyung, I'm an adult," Soonyoung whined but Jeonghan knew full well that the boy loved being spoilt.

"Back to work Soonyoung, I need to continue showing your brother around," Seungcheol placed a hand around Jeonghan's waist leading him away.

"Slave driver!" Soonyoung shouted at Seungcheol as the elevator doors closed.

"He's lucky to have such a caring brother, I'm jealous," Seungcheol's hand was still around his waist.

The elevator gave a light 'ding' as they finally reached the top floor. Jeonghan was greeted with a hallway that had a total of three doors. The one on the furthest end of the hall had his father's name engraved on it, the one on the right had Seungcheol's and the one on the left had...Kim Mingyu's. As they walked he noticed that there was chatter coming from Mingyu's office but played it off like he didn't notice, he didn't want to see Mingyu right now especially after avoiding him for a week. Seungcheol opened the door to his office which immediately caught Mingyu's attention -- fuck. Jeonghan ignored the gaze that was burning into the back of his head and immediately became extremely aware of Seungcheol's arm that was still around his waist. Mingyu had stopped talking now, that wasn't good.

"Mingyu? Are you listening? We're still going to dinner tonight right?" The woman sitting on top of his desk becoming slightly annoyed.

"Come in," Jeonghan was lead into Seungcheol's office.

Jeonghan followed Seungcheol inside and at that moment made eye contact with Mingyu as the door closed. Mingyu had a mixture of shock as well as anger cloud his features followed by a clutched fist that snapped the pen he was holding in two. Jeonghan's eye twitched, he felt very nauseous. He quickly went to sit down on the sofa in Seungcheol's office letting out a long sigh, it seemed his good luck had run dry the second he stepped foot back in South Korea.

"Did you and Mingyu fight? He looked like he was ready to kill," Seungcheol handed him a glass of water.

"A fight would be easier to resolve," Jeonghan leant against the back of the sofa with eyes closed.

"Welcome to the club of 'people Mingyu hates for no apparent reason,'" Seungcheol clapped.

"Why do I feel like you've definitely given him reasons to hate you?" Jeonghan looked over at Seungcheol.

"Hey, the kid's got issues and sometimes he needs a good kick to remind him that he isn't the only one with problems. The boy's got to learn that he can't just throw tantrums whenever he wants something," Seungcheol plopped down behind his desk.

Jeonghan agreed that Mingyu was quite...impulsive in his actions and he'd witnessed his brother's "tantrum" first hand, well his rear remembered that was for sure. Jeonghan's mind continued to scare him as he thought about the look Mingyu's face just moments ago. His mouth was dry despite gulping down his glass of water and his hands were sweating. He knew for a fact that that wasn't the Mingyu he'd sent off to school or the Mingyu he'd helped wash up in the tub, he just prayed at that point that Mingyu would be gone by the time he left Seungcheol's office.

"What I would do to see inside that pretty little mind of yours," Seungcheol clasped his hands together staring at Jeonghan intently.

"You'd be severely disappointed," Jeonghan replied.

"Are you free tonight? We can go grab some dinner-" Seungcheol didn't get to finish his sentence as Jeonghan's phone began ringing.

"Hello?" Jeonghan put up a finger gesturing for Seungcheol to wait.

"Angel? I need you to come back right now! I'm firing one of the male models so you're taking his place. I can't believe some of these models, all they have to do is walk and they can't even do that right," his mother half screamed and half spat.

"Alright, I'll be there," Jeonghan shook his head as he stood.

"You're leaving," Seungcheol sounded quite disappointed.

"Yeah, sorry but hit me up next time if you still want dinner," Jeonghan smiled as he opened the door.

"Okay, until we meet again, Yoon Jeonghan," Seungcheol gave Jeonghan a quick peck on the cheek.

Jeonghan took the elevator down by himself while scrolling through his phone. He didn't look up when the doors opened one of the floors upon its descent. Big mistake. Jeonghan only got to see a glimpse of a large tanned hand clutching a cloth before the said cloth covered his mouth and nose. Jeonghan let out a muffled scream and then everything went dark.

Jeonghan was sure he heard the sound of a car starting as well as the voice of someone familiar inside the car with him. His fuzzy mind couldn't make out any distinct shapes or forms but he could place the voice, it was definitely Mingyu's. He craned his neck as much as he could in his horizontal position in the backseat of the car but it immediately fell back onto the upholstery. His whole body felt like it was being pushed down by an unknown force and his head felt like it was going to explode.

"Shut up! Don't tell me what I can and can't do!" Mingyu snarled.

"You can't! You've already hurt him once! Don't make the same mistake! He'll hate us!" His sweet Mingyu's voice pleaded.

"Shut up! Shut up! Shut up!" Mingyu's darker persona growled.

"Don't hurt him more than you already have!"

"If I can't have him, no one will," Jeonghan felt a chill go down his spine.

As unconsciousness gripped him, he made a silent prayer that maybe Mingyu would come to his senses. He prayed that when he woke up all of this would have just been a bad dream, or a figment of his imagination. Jeonghan felt a tear escape his closed lids as the car continued on its journey of which Jeonghan did not know. It was getting dark outside and his last thoughts were that there was so very little light, that could only mean one thing -- they were driving away from Seoul.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I am genuinely pissed at people y'all. I was having a chat with a friend and she kept complaining about how I only write gyuhan and should consider going over to Jeongcheol. Like, GURRRLLLL, do you have any idea how many Jeongcheol fic there are out there????? There is an abundance of Jeongcheol fics so go read that or write your own. Bloody hell. I cannot with the nerve of these peeps.


	6. The Night it Happened

Jeonghan woke up with a blinding headache and the worst part was that he was also very nauseous. He raised his hand to run it through his hair but realised that he couldn't. His eyes darted around and he began pulling at his arms only to find that they were bound to the posts of the bed he was laying on. Jeonghan began to panic as he yanked at the rope around his wrists but to no avail. It was when the door to the bedroom opened that Jeonghan realized he'd been holding his breath. Mingyu sauntered in wearing black trousers and a dress shirt that was unbuttoned revealing his bronzed skin.

"Hyung," Mingyu breathed as he began closing in on Jeonghan.

Jeonghan watched as his younger brother crawled on the bed on all fours, dark eyes never once leaving Jeonghan. Jeonghan shook his head weakly as Mingyu pressed a kiss onto his forehead and nibbled playfully on his earlobe. He clenched his eyes shut as a wet tongue licked at the shell of his ear, the sensation of Mingyu's warm hands caressing his face was going to be Jeonghan's undoing.

"Mingyu stop," Jeonghan whispered.

"I don't want to," Mingyu whispered back.

"I'm not a plaything! Aren't you satisfied with all those other women in your life? Or do you just find joy in humiliating me?" Jeonghan scooted away as far as his bindings allowed.

"Plaything? You think I see you as my plaything?" Mingyu's eyes narrowed.

"Why else would you be doing this to me?" Jeonghan's broke as he spoke.

"Have you ever once thought that maybe I might be in love with you?"

"Mingyu, we've barely known each other for a month and most of that time we spent avoiding each other!" Jeonghan shouted, what love was there to be had.

Mingyu said nothing, walking in the dark room reaching for the light switch by the door. He hesitated for a split second before bathing the room in light. Jeonghan felt his heart stop as his eyes darted around the room from wall to wall. His own face staring back at him from all angles. Photographs of himself lined the walls, all candid telling Jeonghan that they were all taken in secret. Jeonghan finally looked over at Mingyu who stood looking at him analysing his expression.

"How long have you been stalking me?" Jeonghan swallowed.

"The old man used to receive pictures of you from your mother since she didn't let him see you. He'd boast about how cute his little Hannie was and you could probably guess I was jealous. I'd visit his office and every time he had a different picture of you on his desk. I watched you grow through those pictures and you just kept getting prettier and prettier over time. I got so curious that I decided to meet you in person," Mingyu ripped a picture off the wall flinging it over to Jeonghan where it landed on the mattress.

Jeonghan looked down at the photograph depicting Jeonghan dressed as a male Harley Quinn at a Halloween themed club night in New York leaning against someone in a Dracula costume. Jeonghan didn't remember what happened that night as he'd made the mistake of having too many drinks, all he remembered was that he was covered in bite marks and hickeys the following morning with a pounding headache and passed out in bed with someone who had a very strong grip around his waist. Jeonghan had gotten dressed as quick as he could and did his first ever walk of shame. He'd berated himself the entire way back to his hotel room, he also didn't appreciate the fact that the marks on his body didn't go away for a week.

"Does the person in the background look familiar?" Mingyu cocked a brow, crossing his arms over his chest.

Jeonghan looked at the photo one more time focusing on the person in the Dracula costume. The lighting in the photo was terrible as expected from photographs taken in a nightclub but it was enough to make out the angular lines of the person's face and the...the long canines that peaked out from his wide smile. Mingyu was the Dracula in the photograph.

"I woke up the next morning alone in a cold bed and the colored spray from your hair as the only evidence that you'd been there," Mingyu's mouth twitched at the memory.

"This just keeps getting better and better," Jeonghan shook his head, why was everything that involved Mingyu always so fucking complicated?!

"I had very innocent intentions you know, I told myself I was going to keep my distance and observe you for a little while and then go about my merry way. Of course seeing you in person awoke something inside me and seeing those animals in that club gravitate towards you like rabid dogs angered me more than you can imagine. The way they touched you, the way they looked at you like you were fresh meat."

"What happened between us that night?" Jeonghan knew he was going to regret ever asking.

"We danced together, we got intimate and I brought you back to my hotel. The sounds you made that night were so deliciously erotic, we were both so caught up in the moment that 'I love you' left our mouths like it was the most natural thing in the world," Mingyu traced his finger along one of the photos on the wall.

"I was drunk, Mingyu," Jeonghan furrowed his brow.

"Well I wasn't," Mingyu shot back as he climbed back on the bed.

He made himself comfortable lifting his older brother's legs so that the older boy sat in his lap. Mingyu licked his lips as he stared at Jeonghan's body running his large hands along every curve and ridge before circling them around Jeonghan's slender neck. Jeonghan looked at him with uneasy eyes not knowing what his younger was thinking. Mingyu was like a grenade, unpredictable and absolutely terrifying.

"Seungcheol doesn't deserve you," Mingyu whispered as he began unbuttoning Jeonghan's shirt.

"Mingyu, don't," Jeonghan's voice was barely audible.

"All of this is mine, I want everything. I don't want to share, you were mine first!" Mingyu shouted very much like a child.

"Mingyu calm down, untie my hands and we can talk," Jeonghan began to reason.

"You're going to run, you're going to run away! I won't let you!" Mingyu shook his head.

Jeonghan looked at Mingyu's eyes thinking about how much he meant to the younger boy. The photographs lining the walls were like red flags in Jeonghan's mind but all he could focus on was Mingyu. Mingyu had pined after him for god knows how long and Jeonghan didn't even remember it -- it must've hurt. He felt sorry for his younger brother. He should have been disgusted, disturbed but he wasn't. There was no fear present and that in itself was absolutely terrifying.

"Mingyu, was I your first?" Jeonghan asked, looking the boy dead in the eye.

"Yes," Mingyu answered.

"Oh Mingyu," Jeonghan bit his lip.

Jeonghan looked at the boy clinging to him wanting to give him comfort but his hands were bound. His Mingyu, his sweet lovesick fucked up Mingyu. His dad was right about Mingyu's mother, she had messed him up so much as a child that he thought all he'd done was rational behaviour toward someone he loved.

"I'm not going to let you go," Mingyu whispered.

Mingyu leaned in until they were nose to nose. He closed the gap melding their lips together. Jeonghan felt Mingyu's tongue invading his mouth and began pulling away but Mingyu held onto the back of his head. The younger boy stripped his lower half until he was bare giving him full view of everything. Mingyu's breathing began to accelerate looking at his hyung's naked body and his hands were equally as eager. His thumbs rubbed circles over Jeonghan's delicate pink nipples while his cock hardened under his trousers.

"Hyung," Mingyu cooed softly in his ear, that was so very unfair.

Mingyu began preparing his hyung watching the older boy's every expression like a hawk. Jeonghan's toes curled as Mingyu's fingers hit that spot inside making him see stars. The older boy let out a moan and arched his back, Mingyu growled. They both knew what they were doing was wrong but neither could deny their chemistry.

"Nobody will ever love you more than me," Mingyu buried his face into Jeonghan's neck.

Jeonghan didn't reply but bit his lip praying that Mingyu didn't end up hurting him. Mingyu held him prisoner in his arms as he began filling Jeonghan to the very core. Their bodies moved together so perfectly and the sounds Jeonghan made only added further arousal to his younger brother who somehow became even harder. Mingyu had no problem marking his hyung's delicate pale skin with his teeth as he licked and bit at every bit of flesh he had access to.

"Mingyu let go, please," Jeonghan begged.

Mingyu didn't listen and continued devouring the specimen that sat helplessly on the bed. He cupped Jeonghan's face in his hands forcing the older boy to look at him. Mingyu's eyes were dilated.

"I need you, hyung," Mingyu thrusted into him with more force than ever.

He didn't know how but Mingyu's stamina seemed to have increased since the last time they slept together. Jeonghan had passed out before he realised it and woke up in the room covered in a duvet with a heavy arm around his waist and a hand cupping his behind. Mingyu must've sensed the sudden movement as he suddenly changed their position and pulled his hyung against his chest wrapping a leg around him to prevent any sort of escape. Jeonghan let out a sigh, he couldn't move even if he wanted to. His body felt like it was made of lead.

"Jeonghan-hyung," Mingyu's tongue lapped at his shoulder blade before giving it a soft peck.

"What are we doing?" Jeonghan felt tears prickling his eyes. He'd asked that same question so many times already.

"Hyung," Mingyu's large hand stroked up and down Jeonghan's arms.

Jeonghan curled his body into a ball when he realised his hands were free. He didn't want to face his younger brother. He told himself after the first incident he could put on a brave face and pretend like it never happened, think of it as a one time occurrence that both would bury in secrecy until the very end. Jeonghan didn't expect Mingyu to be straight up bat-shit crazy! Also, why did he not feel angry?!

"Do you hate me?" Mingyu curled his own body over Jeonghan's.

"I wish I could, hating you would have been so much easier than how I feel right now," Jeonghan sobbed.

"I really love you hyung."

Jeonghan turned around to face the younger boy and began stroking the silky black hair. Jeonghan had all the intention of voicing his discontent toward the boy but the way Mingyu laid looking at him with those sad eyes and the quivering lower lip shut him up completely. Instead Jeonghan flicked him on the forehead and gave the same spot a peck.

"It's terrifying how quickly the body adapts, I've already gotten used to the shape of you," Jeonghan bit his lower lip.

"How do you feel about me?" Mingyu swallowed.

"I worry about you endlessly but I'm also terrified of what you're capable of, Mingyu-ah," Jeonghan admitted.

"Do you love me?" Mingyu's eyes were desperate.

"Of course I love you, you're my flesh and blood! I just don't know how to act around you, one minute you're sweet and the next you're just plain fucking crazy," Jeonghan sat up cupping Mingyu's face in his hands. "I've never handled a case like yours before. All the patients I've dealt with up to this point in my degree are nothing compared to the headache you are. This side of you is so very problematic."

"So you prefer him over me," Mingyu's voice broke.

Jeonghan chose that moment to straddle Mingyu's hips pushing him down on the mattress. He held the boy's face in his hands making sure he had full eye contact with the younger boy. Mingyu's eyes were wide with shock but he didn't move.

"Don't you dare twist my words Kim Mingyu, if I didn't care about this side of you did you think I'd still be in bed with you after my hands were free? Every time you call out hyung in my ear I want to give you everything I have."

"Then give me everything! The love, the hate, give it all to me as long as it means I get your undivided attention!" Mingyu gripped his older brother's hips.

"You're crazy," Jeonghan shook his head as he bent down to kiss Mingyu's parched lips. "But so am I."

Like the last time Jeonghan found his way to the bathroom where he drew a bath and lead Mingyu into the shower to rinse off, only this time it wasn't his soft lovesick Mingyu. This Mingyu felt no shyness as he massaged bodywash over Jeonghan's supple skin and relished in his handiwork as he inspected all the marks left on the older boy. They migrated into the tub where Jeonghan held Mingyu from the back running his hands up and down the contours of his torso. Mingyu let out contented sighs while his hands kept a firm grip on each of Jeonghan's thighs.

"What am I going to do with you?" Jeonghan tightened his grip on the younger boy.

"Keep me," Mingyu answered for him.

Mingyu lifted Jeonghan's hands from under the water looking at the red marks on his hyung's wrists left by the rope. He kissed them in silent apology making it even harder for Jeonghan to hold a grudge.

"Where is this place?" Jeonghan asked looking around at his surroundings.

"One of the old man's getaway homes, we're an hour away from Seoul. I wanted us to be alone. There's no one around here except for us, unless you travel another half an hour."

"How long do you plan on keeping me here?" Jeonghan stared blankly at the wall ahead of him.

"I told your mother we were going on a spontaneous brotherly bonding trip. She was pissed that you weren't going to model in her show but she agreed when I told her you were in need of a break. We don't have to leave any time soon," Mingyu turned to face Jeonghan.

Mingyu traced Jeonghan's lips with his thumb before pulling him along out of the bathtub. They dried off and Jeonghan was lead back into the bedroom where both boys laid back down on the bed. Mingyu allowed himself to be held in Jeonghan's arms with his head on the older boy's chest listening to his heartbeat. Jeonghan stared blankly at the photographs of himself on the walls, every fibre of his being was telling him the boy in his arms was dangerous but he shook it off. He knew he was dancing with the devil, he knew what he was doing.

"What was your life like before you lived with dad?" Jeonghan suddenly asked the younger boy.

Mingyu tightened his grip on Jeonghan's waist.

"Was it that bad?" Jeonghan kissed the top of his head.

"My mother was a narcissist, she only cared about herself. When I was younger she'd leave me at home for days without a call or letting me know where she was going. She didn't care if I fell sick or if I was hungry, it just didn't matter to her as long as she received the child support money from the old man. She was violent when she drank, her favourite thing was hurling her horrific high heels at me; telling me the reason why she was miserable was because I ruined her life by being born. I learnt very early on that the world was a cruel place. That bitch threw me away the minute she found a new husband, she had money so she abandoned me. The old man got wind of it and took me in when he found out I'd been hospitalized for malnutrition."

Jeonghan felt a pang in his chest thinking about a stick thin Mingyu. He didn't want to imagine his Mingyu looking anything less than strong and healthy. Jeonghan stroked his younger brother's hair kissing his temple to comfort him.

"Did you know? I'm the original, I'm the Mingyu that was here from the very beginning. The fucked up bastard who stalked you, who kidnapped and tied you up is the real Mingyu. The sweet Mingyu who everyone likes and adores is the one that came after. Do you know how much it hurts when everyone hates you but loves the other side of the coin? That day when you let him touch you and whispered those sweet words to him before sending him off to school, I wanted to cry. I was sure you preferred him over me as well."

"Mingyu, don't you dare think for a moment that I don't love this side of you. Yes, you've done some crazy shit to keep me to yourself but look at me, do I look like I'm someone who is sane? I've done everything that an older sibling shouldn't and I'm making it worse by condoning this behaviour and letting you get away with it. I'm the enabler."

"I'm so sorry," Mingyu held Jeonghan's fingers up to his lips.

"Your mother did many things that were wrong but she did do one thing right," Jeonghan held Mingyu's hand.

"What was it?" Mingyu propped himself up on an elbow looking at his hyung with a confused expression.

"She gave me you," Jeonghan cupped Mingyu's face in his hands.

That was the moment Mingyu's composure broke. The younger boy's eyes watered and the tears he'd bottled up all those years living with his mother and the loneliness he felt in the Kim estate made their way to the surface. Jeonghan hugged the boy close feeling the wetness of tears drip on his shoulder and the now familiar feel of Mingyu's hot breath on his skin. Mingyu probably never let anyone get past the walls he'd built around himself. The boy didn't like showing people his weaknesses and Jeonghan had managed to strip him bare -- mentally and physically. Jeonghan didn't tell Mingyu to stop, he simply rocked back and forth giving his sibling all the time in the world.

"I'm here, you're not alone," Jeonghan smiled to himself in the dark room, massaging Mingyu's scalp.

They stayed in that position on the bed until Mingyu tired himself out and fell asleep in Jeonghan's arms. The heavy weight of his younger brother didn't bother Jeonghan in the slightest. Jeonghan laid still thinking again and again about how fucked up their situation was. He continued to play with Mingyu's hair as his eyes travelled around the room, the various photographs taken of him made a rather sinister looking collage.

Stalking was categorised into five different typologies, The Resentful, The Intimacy Seeking, The Rejected, The Incompetent and the Predatory. Mingyu fell into the grey area between predatory and intimacy seeking. The boy was a classic case of someone who was lonely and desperately looking for a confidante even if it meant obsessively keeping tabs on the object of his affections. Many factors played into this immoral behaviour and for Mingyu it all stemmed from the abuse and neglect suffered from his mother during his childhood. The fragile minds of little ones were so very easily moulded by traumatic experiences.

Jeonghan frowned.

He'd studied many depressing cases during his education and Mingyu was right up there with the very worst. He didn't want to throw his own father under the bus but the older man also played a part in shaping Mingyu's thought process. His younger brother went from a household where he was denied everything to a household where he was given everything, the drastic change from scarcity to excess did Mingyu no favours. His father spoilt the boy to the point where Mingyu thought he could do no wrong. Everyone played a role in the way Mingyu had turned out and now Jeonghan too had a part in it. He knew he shouldn't be turning a blind eye to Mingyu's problematic behaviour but...the boy didn't need another person so tell him he was a freak. Mingyu probably heard it his entire life.

"Jeonghan," Mingyu mumbled in his sleep, the boy's face nuzzled closer into Jeonghan's neck.

"My beautiful nightmare," Jeonghan concluded, he really was as crazy as Mingyu.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> It's only the third week into the uni semester and I am dying, y'all. Finding parking on campus is so difficult and the heat is unbearable. It's already autumn here in Australia but the heat just won't go away.
> 
> Anyway, happy reading!~


	7. The First Victim

Jeonghan sat on his bed with papers scattered around him, his eyes strained from reading for hours on end. After they'd returned from their "brotherly bonding trip" Jeonghan scanned through his laptop pulling up old papers and notes he'd written in the past and even purchased an online copy of one his psychology textbooks just so he could jog his memory -- the book was expensive, he kicked himself for leaving the physical copy in Paris. He'd spent hours reading through everything but it was all stuff that he very much knew, he knew that childhood trauma was what caused the riff in Mingyu's psyche, he knew that abandonment was one of his biggest triggers but he didn't know how to fix Mingyu. Jeonghan rolled in his bed frustrated thinking about his younger brother, he wished there was a magical cure that could rewire the boy's brain but no that was too good to be true. There was no cure for his condition, the only thing that all the experts and studies told him was therapy being the only option and even then there was no guarantee that it worked. Jeonghan shook his head, the thought of having Mingyu attending a therapy session to talk about his psychotic behaviour and incestuous relationship with his older brother was so ridiculous it was almost funny. Mingyu would never agree to letting an outsider pick at his already fragile mind.

It was when the sun had gone down that Jeonghan had come to a conclusion. He didn't want to lose either Mingyu. The thought of having one Mingyu without the other caused his heart to ache. Yes he was being selfish but he couldn't let go. He didn't want to give up his little brother to anyone else either, the thought of Mingyu belonging to someone else actually turned his stomach. Almost made him ill. 

Jeonghan walked across his room to the window looking down at the garden. He stared at the rose bushes with disinterest but immediately bent closer to the glass seeing a head of black hair standing on the cobblestone below. It was definitely Mingyu. Jeonghan was about to call out to his younger brother but held his tongue realizing the younger boy wasn't alone. Jeonghan watched as the person he was talking to came into view. He was talking to a woman. Jeonghan watched as the woman angrily gestured at his younger brother and finally there was a loud slap. The woman had hit Mingyu. Jeonghan pressed himself against the glass, his jaw dropping to form a mask of shock. The woman began retreating causing Jeonghan to bolt from his room in pursuit of the bitch who laid hands on the younger boy.

He ran out the back doors of the house and down the cobblestone cursing when he lost his footing on the path's uneven surface. He came to a stop in front of Mingyu holding the boy's face in his hands. Jeonghan inspected his face seeing a very obvious red mark left by the woman's palm accompanied by scratches -- the woman had dragged her nails along his skin.

"Mingyu, who was that? Are you okay?" Jeonghan frantically inspected his younger brother for any other injuries.

"It's nothing hyung, it's nothing," Mingyu's voice was hollow, he sounded like a small child.

"What do you mean nothing? She hurt you!" Jeonghan shook his brother.

"Stop yelling at me!" Mingyu covered his ears.

"Who was she? Do you know her? What did she want?" Jeonghan continued with his tirade of questions.

"Stop! Just stop it! Stop talking!" Mingyu yelled.

Jeonghan felt Mingyu's large hands on his chest giving him a hard shove before the boy ran away. He watched Mingyu retreat back into the house too shocked to even think about trailing after the boy. Jeonghan sat down on the stone bench by the rose bushes looking down at his left hand, droplets of blood from Mingyu's scratches clung to the long pale digits. Mingyu's behaviour just moments ago told Jeonghan that the boy had been severely triggered. The child-like responses to his questions and the fight or flight reaction only solidified his theory that whoever it was that was with Mingyu earlier knew how to manipulate and strike fear into the boy.

"It can't be," Jeonghan mumbled to himself, his mind beginning to piece clues together.

He walked back into the house, he didn't go to seek out Mingyu but instead made his way to the room where the estate's onsite security resided. Jeonghan walked into the empty room locking it behind him. The guards were probably patrolling the premises -- and doing a shit job if someone like that woman had managed to slip in as well as harm someone under their watch. Jeonghan sat himself down on one of the computers. He clicked his way into the surveillance video feed and began skimming through the different camera angles until he could find at least one that showed Mingyu and the woman. He cursed realizing that the rose bushes were a blind spot causing half the video of the garden to be concealed by red petals. Jeonghan slammed his palm against the desk feeling frustrated by the useless surveillance footage -- well, he was until a gust of wind blew some petals away from the camera. Jeonghan immediately paused the video and pulled out his phone. He took several images to be safe and exited the room before the security guards returned from their posts.

Jeonghan jogged up the stairs and down the corridor to his room stopping to eye Mingyu's door for a moment before he remembered he had a more important task at hand. He climbed on his bed pulling out his laptop from the piles of papers he'd unceremoniously scattered over the bedspread. Jeonghan's mouth was dry as he opened his browser and typed in a name in the search bar.

"Jeon Hwayoung," Jeonghan mumbled as he typed the name.

Jeonghan took out his phone, pulling up the new images from his gallery. He bit his lower lip, his prediction was correct. Holding up the photo on his phone next to the image on his laptop screen Jeonghan suddenly felt his heart drop. The identical faces of the woman in the garden and the one on his laptop screen seemed to be mocking him with their dark tapered eyes. Jeon Hwayoung, the woman was Mingyu's mother. His mother was at the Kim estate and she'd managed to get her hands on Mingyu. For how long had she been in contact with him was the real question. Jeonghan dialled a number on his contact list waiting for the person on the other end to pick up.

"Hello?" The voice asked.

"Hey Vernon, I need a favour," Jeonghan said.

"A favour?" The person asked.

"I need you help with something, you're still in Seoul right?" Jeonghan arched a brow

"Yeah," the person answered.

"Meet me at the Cacao Green cafe in Myeongdong in half an hour," Jeonghan demanded before hanging up, he didn't want to hear a refusal.

Jeonghan decided to call a taxi to come to the estate because the idea of driving gave him anxiety. He was not used to the aggressive, sometimes even dangerous, driving habits of Seoul's inhabitants. Jeonghan made his way through the hustle and bustle of Seoul's shopping district and found the cafe he was looking for. He sat himself down in one of the booths and waited. He ordered himself a coffee and simply allowed his mind to wander until a heavy backpack was thrown onto the seat beside him, the sound made him jump.

"Hey! What's up!" Vernon, the person he'd called stood in front him clad in a biker jacket and a motorcycle helmet in his hands.

"Hey," Jeonghan stood giving his friend a hug as they settled into the booth.

Jeonghan had met Vernon when he was living in New York. The boy's parents were wealthy artists who lived in the townhouse beside him and his mother. Back then the boy still went by his Korean name, Hansol, but adopted Vernon as his preferred name going into his teens. Jeonghan kept in contact with the boy because he really liked the boy's personality but the second reason was that he was scarily good at gathering information -- illegally but good nonetheless. Sure the boy lacked the artistic flare his parents had but what he lacked as an artist he made up in his ability to search and find. Jeonghan was going to put his pretty little mind to work. 

"What services do you need from me?" Vernon asked, the straight lines of his teeth a result of wearing braces for most of his early teens.

"I need you to help me get some dirt on someone and I mean as much dirt as you can possibly find," Jeonghan told Vernon.

Vernon simply nodded his head unzipping his backpack pulling out a sleek black laptop. He began setting up his workstation and Jeonghan ordered some drinks and pastries for his guest. The boy was doing him a favour for free so the least he could do was feed the kid. 

"Whose your target, hyung?" Vernon asked taking a bite out of the ham and cheese croissant Jeonghan ordered for him.

"Get me as much information about Jeon Hwayoung as you can, no detail is too tiny. I need to know everything," Jeonghan said, his voice sounding cold even to his own ears.

"On it," Vernon cracked his knuckles and rotated his neck, the popping sounds indicated he was preparing to start.

Jeonghan sat and watched the younger boy work his magic.Tabs and windows were open and an array of programs that Jeonghan had never seen before consumed the screen. To Jeonghan what he was looking at was chaos, he didn't understand any of it. He waited patiently sipping his coffee feeling his foot begin to tap on the floor from the affects of the caffeine.

"Oh boy," Vernon whistled.

"What did you find?" Jeonghan set down his cup of coffee.

"Whoever this person is they've been involved in some shady shit," Vernon replied.

"Tell me everything," Jeonghan demanded.

"Okay well she's been arrested for selling her body and according to the records I've pulled up she's also been married and divorced about three times. She received a hefty amount of money from her divorce settlements from all three ex-husbands. Her third divorce earned her quite the large sum since she ended up having a child so the dude she married had to pay child support. Though it seems like the settlement was nullified after her husband won custody of the child when he turned seven. She's married again a fourth time and it looks like she's chosen to marry rich this time as well. She's married to a guy name Lee Donghoon."

"Lee Donghoon?" Jeonghan's brow furrowed, he was sure he heard that name before.

"Yeah, the guy is the Chief Financial Officer of Seventeen Records," Vernon confirmed his suspicions, so that was why the name sounded familiar.

"Anything else you can tell me?" Jeonghan tapped at his coffee mug, trying to keep his composure.

"Plenty. The lady seems to have some rather curious medical records. According to the papers she was pregnant with a boy but looking at the baby's records there are some major inconsistencies. The doctor may have made a mistake but his 'O positive' blood type got changed to 'B negative' and they keep changing back and forth on the medical records."

Vernon took a sip of his own drink and a mouthful of his second croissant looking at the screen as if he was watching a drama play out on television. Jeonghan could tell that they were only at the tip of the iceberg. He ran a hand through his hair anticipating as well as dreading what Vernon was going to tell him.

"She paid out a large amount of money during that same time frame from when she gave birth and I'm guessing it went to whoever it was that changed the medical records for her child. I don't know why you're so curious about this lady but I can guarantee you that she's not your typical law abiding citizen," Vernon concluded.

"Huh," was all Jeonghan could utter.

"Oh and another thing, it looks like she's been making some rather expensive purchases as of recent, what she's purchased though is a mystery because the statements don't show who the receiver is," Vernon shoved the rest of his croissant in his mouth. 

"Thanks again for coming out, I know it was out of the blue," Jeonghan patted Vernon's shoulder.

"Jeonghan, why are you so interested in your dad's ex-wife?" Vernon looked at him, the boy's expression telling him he was curious but also looked like he was guilty for prying.

"She hurt someone I care about," Jeonghan answered gulping down his last bit of coffee and left it at that.

"I don't know what you're planning on doing with this info but I don't think getting involved is the smartest thing," Vernon's thick brows knitted together in concern.

"You just worry about yourself, Google Translate," Jeonghan gave the boy a smile, ruffling his hair.

"My English is not that bad," Vernon closed his laptop.

Jeonghan never got to respond as was interrupted by his phone vibrating on the table. He looked at the screen seeing Seungcheol's name, it had been a while since he'd had any sort of contact with the guy. He picked up right away.

"Hello? Seungcheol?" 

"Jeonghan! You need to get to hospital right now!" Seungcheol sounded distraught.

"The hopsital? Why?" Jeonghan stood up from his seat making Vernon flinch beside him.

"It's Jihoon, Soonyoung found him in the company parking lot with six stab wounds in his back and his arms and legs were zip-tied!" Seungcheol's heavy breathing audible through the phone.

"No...no...I'll-I'll be there right away!" Jeonghan ran a shaky hand through his hair feeling the blood drain from his face. 

"Hurry," Seungcheol said before he hung up.

"Jeonghan? You okay?" Vernon touched Jeonghan's shoulder.

"I'll contact you again soon but I...I have to get to the hospital," Jeonghan threw some money on the table, more than enough to cover the tab and bolted for the door.

He hailed a taxi and squirmed the entire way, impatient as one would be when their brother could be potentially be facing a life or death situation. He bit on his lower lip to the point where he could taste the metallic tang of blood on his tongue -- he couldn't have cared less. He jumped out of the taxi after once again flinging some notes at the driver not caring how much money he was losing. Jeonghan entered the hospital with wild eyes darting around until he found Soonyoung by the doors of the ER sitting on the ground in a grey t-shirt sporting splotches of dried oxidised blood down the front. He approached the younger boy kneeling down in front of him.

"Soonyoung," Jeonghan mumbled.

The younger boy looked up at him with tears streaking his flushed cheeks and snot running down his nose. Soonyoung launched himself into Jeonghan's arms and buried his face into his older brother's chest, silent cries getting louder and louder -- the poor thing waited until he was safe in his family member's arms before he allowed himself to freely weep. Jeonghan held onto Soonyoung for dear life because at that moment his younger brother was the only thing keeping him from having a mental breakdown.

"Jeonghan!" Seungcheol came into the waiting room looking just as dishevelled as Soonyoung, his white dress shirt untucked and his sleeves rolled up to his elbows -- the most distracting thing being the dried blood on his chest.

"Where's Jihoon?" Jeonghan demanded.

"He's in intensive care at the moment, the nurses said they're working on his wounds as quick as they can, aside from that I know about as little as you do," Seungcheol answered.

"It was so bad hyung, I tried to grab the person who hurt Jihoon but he got away. Jihoon was bleeding so much," Soonyoung whispered, his face still pressed into Jeonghan's chest.

"It's okay, Jihoon's a fighter he'll pull through," Jeonghan didn't know if he was convincing his brother or himself. 

They sat in the waiting room until ungodly hours of the night. Jeonghan had about five cups of coffee in his system during the wait and a tuckered out Soonyoung who had cried himself to sleep on his lap. They huddled on the floor away from the remaining people in the room. Seungcheol had decided to stay with them despite Jeonghan insisting that he didn't have to.

"Here, I thought you could use something other than coffee in your stomach," Seungcheol returned from his little venture holding out two bottles of water.

Jeonghan thanked him and scooted over to make room for Seungcheol. Jeonghan was tired and he was beginning to feel himself drifting off, his head swayed from side to side and his eyelids felt like they were being held down by phantom weights. That was when Seungcheol draped his arm around Jeonghan's shoulders offering him a place to rest his head.

"I'll wake you up if anything happens," Seungcheol assured.

"Why Jihoon?" Jeonghan asked thinking about who would have a motive to attack his brother.

"No clue but I'm having people look into it, whoever did it wanted Jihoon dead," Seungcheol stroked his hand through Jeonghan's hair.

"Wait, where's Mingyu?" Jeonghan suddenly realised.

"Both me and Soonyoung tried calling him but he didn't pick up, so we gave up and called you instead," Seungcheol answered.

Jeonghan had a bad feeling in his gut and his gut was never wrong. From the information he'd received from Vernon as well as the appearance of Mingyu's mother, Jeonghan was beginning to have suspicions and as much as he didn't want to believe it he knew Mingyu had some sort of involvement in it -- how much was he involved and what aspect was what Jeonghan wanted to find out.

"What did you do Mingyu-yah?" Jeonghan whispered to himself.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hello!~ Yes, I am back with another update! Hope you're all doing well.
> 
> I recently got an email notifying me that the Seventeen x The Saem hand creams will be sent out in March because they post them according to when you order so the people who ordered before me get their package first. I had to use a korean shopping agent and they make you pay an extra 10% for commission but that's fine. It was a 'treat yo'self' purchase so I have no regrets.


	8. The Second, The Third, The Fourth

Jeonghan's fingers brushed absently through Soonyoung's hair as his younger brother laid on his thigh. It was nearing dawn and there was still no word regarding Jihoon's condition. The adrenaline and the various cups of coffee had long worn off and he was struggling to keep his eyes open. Poor Soonyoung was so out of it he couldn't even sit up straight and Seungcheol was already knocked out beside him. The three of them were like sitting ducks. Then there was also the issue of where Mingyu had disappeared to, Jeonghan wanted to go to sleep and never wake up -- his reality was so fucked up he didn't want to deal with it anymore. 

"Excuse me, are you Jihoon-shi's family?" A nurse approached the three sitting on the floor.

Jeonghan immediately lifted his head from Seungcheol's shoulder and shot upright. He braced himself on the wall behind him for support as his leg had fallen asleep. Seungcheol grabbed his elbow to steady him. Jeonghan nudged Soonyoung awake and the three of them followed the nurse into a private room. They were faced with an unconscious Jihoon with tubes in nose and mouth and he was hooked up to a number of contraptions. Soonyoung began crying again at the sight of his twin. Jeonghan held his sibling again in his arms and pressed his lips against Soonyoung's temple.

"We've been able to successfully close all his wounds but he's lost a lot of blood. We've given him a blood transfusion and he looks to be in a stable condition but the main issue at hand is the risk of infection. The assailant without a doubt had the intention of killing but luckily they attacked from the back so they didn't damage any vital organs. I would guess whoever did it didn't have a thorough plan nor any expertise regarding anatomy, so an amateur," the nurse told them.

"We can't tell dad about this, the news might actually kill him," Soonyoung looked over at Jihoon.

"He'll find out sooner or later, he'll hate us for it but we'll shield it from him for as long as we can," Seungcheol rubbed a hand over his obviously tired face.

"Hey Seungcheol, can I talk to you for a second?" Jeonghan's mind pushed the sadness and worry aside, he had some more important things to think about.

"Yeah, sure," Seungcheol looked confused but followed Jeonghan out of the room anyway.

"Soonyoung, we'll just be gone for a little bit," Jeonghan looked back at Soonyoung who was holding Jihoon's hand.

"Okay," Soonyoung nodded, the boy's expression broke Jeonghan's heart.

"What did you want to talk about?" Seungcheol asked when they were far enough away.

"Lee Donghoon, what can you tell me about him?" Jeonghan crossed his arms.

"Donghoon? He's a straight up pain in the ass. He's been butting heads with everyone ever since your father got sick, the bastard used to kiss your father's ass every chance he got. Even Mingyu sided with me when it came to the fucker. Lately though he's been keeping his mouth shut so it's been a blessing during board meetings. I guess he's realised his opinion isn't always needed."

"Didn't he get married recently?" Jeonghan prodded.

"Not that I'm aware of, the guy's been marrried once but that was well over a decade ago. Why the sudden interest?" Seungcheol asked.

"Okay, this might sound crazy but I think he might be involved in what happened to Jihoon," Jeonghan looked over his shoulder back at Jihoon's hospital room.

"Why do you think that?" Seungcheol's confusion was apparent on his face.

"Mingyu's mother snuck onto the estate earlier today. I had a friend of mine do some digging and according to some records Lee Donghoon is currently married to Jeon Hwayoung," Jeonghan informed.

"What?" Seungchol's expression slowly morphing into shock.

"Mingyu's mother is a real piece of work, she's been on the wrong side of the law a few too many times and I guarantee you that her sudden appearance is not a coincidence."

"How are you so sure that it's her?" Seungcheol furrowed his brow.

"I'm not but right now she's a suspect and so is her husband," Jeonghan left out Mingyu's potential involvement because in he wanted to ask the boy himself.

The two walked back into Jihoon's room to see that Soonyoung had fallen asleep next to his brother's bed. Jeonghan felt his heart ache seeing his two siblings looking so very fragile. He wanted to kick himself for being unable to protect them as an older brother. He gently woke up Soonyoung and began pulling him along, his brother needed to go home and sleep.

"Come on, we need to give him time to heal and you need to get cleaned up," Jeonghan rubbed his hand up and down Soonyoung's back.

"I just checked in with the nurses, they said they're raising security around Jihoon so we don't have to worry," Seungcheol hung up on his phone.

"Wakeup soon Jihoon or I might actually go insane," Jeonghan bent down and ruffled Jihoon's hair.

The three of them began making their way out of the hospital and by the time they were outside the sun was already rising. Seungcheol drove them back to the estate in his car, none of them spoke the entire way there -- what was there to say? Jeonghan slipped out of passenger seat and waited for Soonyoung who looked like he was going to pass out. Jeonghan supported his younger brother the best he could despite feeling feint himself.

"Are you sure you don't want me to help you inside?" Seungchol's concerned expression colouring his face.

"No, you've done more than enough for us. Go home, get some sleep and get some food in your system," Jeonghan managed a weak smile.

"Call me if you need anything," Seungcheol tucked a strand of hair behind Jeonghan's ear before touching his cheek.

"I will," Jeonghan nodded and they parted ways.

He and Soonyoung staggered into the house and up the stairs like they were the living dead. Jeonghan escorted Soonyoung back to his room before going to his own. He looked over at Mingyu's door cautiously, the longer he stared the more he felt the need to confront his younger brother. He had so many questions and he knew Mingyu had answers. Jeonghan shook himself and went into his room before he did something drastic. It was early in the morning and he hadn't slept all night. He needed to sleep. The minute he hit the mattress he began to drift, the sweet surrender of sleep giving him a very much needed few hours of bliss away from his complicated reality.

__________________________________________________________________________________________________________

Jeonghan woke up around the afternoon feeling a lot better but the feeling of anxiety quickly returned thinking about Jihoon. He took a long shower and got dressed getting ready to go back to the hospital. Jeonghan walked out of his room and stared over at Mingyu's door, it was still closed. He clenched his fist walking by it and continued down the corridor. Jeonghan passed Soonyoung's room but began retracing his steps realizing that the door was open. He thought it was strange that Soonyoung would keep it open but then again sometimes Jeonghan had left his own door open when he was in a rush. He made his way down to the kitchen to grab a bottle of water when he noticed the floors were wet. Jeonghan followed the trail of water to find the source of the spill. When he turned the corner, he screamed. Soonyoung laid face down on the floor, he was pale as a sheet -- he looked lifeless. His scream gathered the attention of the housekeepers who ran in and erupted into screams of their own. One of the women called an ambulance while the others tried to perform CPR on Soonyoung. Jeonghan let out a breath he didn't know he was holding when one of the housekeepers said that his younger brother still had a pulse. 

Everything played out in front of him like a silent film. Jeonghan blocked out all the noise only allowing his eyes to register what was happening. The paramedics rushed Soonyoung out on a stretcher while him and his sick father watched from the front of the house. His father's pale hand clutched onto Jeonghan's from his wheelchair, the man was shaking uncontrollably. His father did not wait long before he received news regarding Jihoon's attack and now with another son being hospitalised he was so fragile.

"Jeonghan, please go and check on them for me. I don't want them to die, to have them die before me is a father's worst nightmare," his father's grip on his hand tightened.

"This is no coincidence dad, I think someone is targeting us," Jeonghan wheeled his father inside.

"Be careful son, I know you want to find out who did it as much as I do but be careful. I don't want you playing hero and ending up dead," his father said to him before he was escorted back to his room by a carer.

Jeonghan immediately made his way back to the hospital. When he finally got there he was greeted by Boo Seungkwan and Lee Dokyeom who were dressed in casual training outfits. They noticed him and began gesturing for him to join them in the corner of the waiting room.

"Hello Yoon Jeonghan-shi, I'm Boo Seungkwan," Seungkwan shook his hand.

"Lee Dokyeom," the other followed suit.

"Hi, what are you two doing here?" Jeonghan asked.

"We were supposed to be learning new choreography with Soonyoung this morning but he never showed up. We called him and he picked up to say hello but then there were some weird noises on his end, then nothing," Dokyeom explained.

"We decided to call the landline instead and the housekeeper said Soonyoung was in hospital so we rushed over," Seungkwan began biting at his fingernails, concern apparent on his face.

"From what I overheard they found cyanide in his system but Soonyoung got lucky. His own clumsiness saved him because they said he didn't ingest enough of it to kill him. A detective talking with the doctor said Soonyoung had spilt his drink after taking a single sip and slipped hitting his head," Dokyeom said.

"So he's not dying?" Jeonghan felt himself relax.

"He'll live and they're administering sodium thiosulfate into his system to reverse the effects of the cyanide," Seungkwan assured.

"Now I have both Jihoon and Soonyoung staying here," Jeonghan looked around at his surroundings.

"We heard about what happened to Jihoon as well," Dokyeom's expression looked pained.

"I don't know if this will be useful to you but we saw a woman in the parking lot yesterday when we left the company building. The police were supposed to come and analyse the area where Jihoon was attacked but we managed to catch her skulking around. We think she was up to something so we filmed her," Dokyeom held out his phone. "Me and Seungkwan are both guilty for wanting to see the crime scene but I hope this can put us both back in your good graces."

"I also have footage that you can use, my hands were shaky so it isn't the best quality. We want to help as much as we can, those two dedicated so much time to our careers as singers," Seungkwan also held out his phone.

"Are you two free at the moment?" Jeonghan asked.

"Yes," the two said in unison.

"Follow me," Jeonghan lead them into the courtyard of the hospital and called Vernon to meet them there.

"Jeonghan-shi, you see the pattern as well right? I think you and Mingyu-shi might be in danger," Dokyeom's twiddled his thumbs.

"That's why I have to find out whose doing this before I end up like my poor brothers," Jeonghan pulled his hair into a ponytail.

"Hyung!" Vernon's voice caught his attention.

"Vernon," Jeonghan patted the boy's shoulder gesturing for him to sit down.

The four of them sat together on a circular table and Jeonghan made the introductions. Vernon of course made the fact that he was a fan of the two singers known and got their autographs before getting to the serious stuff. Jeonghan had the two vocalists hand over their phones and Vernon transferred the video files onto his laptop. Vernon pressed play on one of the files and the footage began showing Dokyeom's hand partially covering the lens before slowly adjusting to show a woman dressed in a trench coat walking by the bloody scene. At first glance it just looked like she was an innocent bystander who had discovered a crime scene...until she walked up to the mess carefully avoiding the blood and placing a knife by the blood splatters.

"Vernon, replay that," Jeonghan pointed at the screen.

Vernon did so and the four of them re-watched it a second time. The woman did indeed place a knife by the blood splatters. Jeonghan narrowed his eyes, she was placing down a fake murder weapon, the bitch was trying to throw the police off the trail. Vernon took several still images from the video and saved them to his laptop and gave Jeonghan a nod, the boy was just as invested as he was -- he was thankful for Vernon's loyalty.

"I think we just found our prime suspect," Jeonghan's voice was ice cold. 

"Play my video next, it's shaky but I'm sure I caught her face from the angle I filmed," Seungkwan place a hand on Vernon's shoulder.

"Sure," Vernon did just that.

As promised the video was indeed shaky but twenty seconds into the video the woman turned around showing her features clear as day. Vernon paused the video exchanging looks with Jeonghan, they were watching Jeon Hwayoung on the screen the entire time. Jeonghan scoffed, why was he not surprised? 

"Thank you so much for the footage, you have no idea how much this helps," Jeonghan pulled both Seungkwan and Dokyeom into his arms.

Jeonghan said his goodbyes and had Vernon tag along with him. Vernon's eyes were still wide with shock as they rode together in the taxi away from the hospital. As much as Jeonghan wanted to see Soonyoung and Jihoon, he also had to remind himself that he needed to find the culprit before they attempted to finish what they started -- he didn't think his younger brothers could survive another attack especially when both were hospitalised, fragile and defenceless.

"Jeonghan hyung, do you think your brother Mingyu is..." Vernon trailed off not meeting Jeonghan's eyes.

"Do I think Mingyu might be involved in the attacks?" Jeonghan finished the question for him.

"Yeah," Vernon nodded.

"He hasn't come to see Jihoon and he wasn't there when Soonyoung was taken away by the paramedics. It's hard not to suspect him when I haven't seen him show any kind of concern for his brothers who were almost killed," Jeonghan's hands formed fists at his sides.

"Where are we going?" Vernon finally asked as the taxi turned a corner.

"See for yourself," Jeonghan nodded to toward the window.

"Seventeen Records?" Vernon's mouth fell open.

They got out of the vehicle and Jeonghan lead the way into the building. As expected there was police tape and unfamiliar faces everywhere. Jeonghan watched as several people came out from the elevator with Seungcheol leading the way. He and Seungcheol made eye contact and the two quickly began walking towards one another. Jeonghan found himself in Seungcheol's arms, the guy had a strong grip.

"Hey, good thing you're here the detectives here just informed me that they have a lead. They found a knife where Jihoon was attacked and the fingerprints belong to Mingyu, some of the blood was his as well. The forensics team at the estate also found Mingyu's fingerprints on the cup Soonyoung drank from," Seungcheol looked at Jeonghan with a saddened expression.

"Mingyu..." Jeonghan furrowed his brow.

"Jeonghan-shi, I know it's hard to accept but all the clues are pointing to your younger brother. He has a history of sporadic behaviour and he's also mentally ill," a woman in a black pantsuit stood beside Seungcheol, a badge identified her as Detective Song.

"Mingyu would never," Jeonghan countered.

"He's been missing since yesterday Yoon Jeonghan-shi, chances are he's fled. We've done some digging and it's safe to say that we're confident he's the culprit. Based on his targets he's trying to kill off all potential competition that might stand in the way of him inheriting the company. Your father is in ill health right? In his mind this might seem like a logical way of solidifying his position as the next CEO."

"Mingyu has never once mentioned anything about wanting to be CEO," Jeonghan scoffed at the detective's absurdity.

"He's not in his right mind Jeonghan-shi, all of his reports from past psychological assessments paint a clear picture of his detachment from reality. I know it's hard for you to accept but we have to get him behind bars before he hurts anyone else. You, Jeonghan-shi, are his next target," Detective Song said to him in her 'no nonsense' tone.

"That's ludicrous, I have information to prove that," Jeonghan tried to get the woman to cooperate but was sushed by the detective who raised a palm in his face.

"I have work to attend to Jeonghan-shi, Mingyu is now a fugitive. We have a psychopath on the loose," Detective Song began walking away.

He began following after the woman but was stopped by a hand on his wrist. Whipping his head around he was faced with a concerned Seungcheol. The taller man refusing to let Jeonghan go. Jeonghan tried to yank his wrist from his grip but failed miserably.

"Jeonghan, you need to get out of here. Leave the country if you have to, Mingyu's going to find you if you stay in Seoul! He's stabbed and poisoned, who knows what he's going to do if he gets his hands on you!" Seungcheol shook him by the shoulders.

"It's not Mingyu!" Jeonghan shouted back.

"I know he's your brother but you can't keep denying it! He's crazy and you know it!" Seungcheol's grip on his arms became painful.

"It's not Mingyu and I have evidence to prove it!" Jeonghan pushed himself away from Seungcheol.

Jeonghan pulled a confused Vernon along as they exited the building. They stood off to the side making sure to not get in the way of the investigation that was right in front of their noses. Jeonghan began biting his lower lip out of habit. He didn't want to believe it, he didn't want to think Mingyu was responsible. His breathing became uneven just thinking about Mingyu stabbing Jihoon and poisoning Soonyoung. Jeonghan felt very nauseous.

"Jeonghan hyung, you look pale I think you should go home," Vernon looked at him with concerned eyes.

"I'm going after that detective, I'm not going home until I clear Mingyu's name," Jeonghan took the USB drive Vernon held out to him.

"I'll keep searching on my end and help you as much as I can, call me if you need help, hyung," Vernon gave Jeonghan's shoulder a squeeze.

"Thank you, you've been more than generous with your time," Jeonghan gave the younger boy a small apologetic smile.

"Do you want me to go with you? Just to be safe?" Vernon cocked a brow.

"No, I'll be fine," he waved off the boy.

Jeonghan watched Vernon's back as he walked away from the building and blended into the crowds of people going about their day. Jeonghan took a final look at the Seventeen Records building before he too began walking away. He walked to the nearest taxi bay where he climbed into the backseat and gave the address to the Kim estate. He stared out the window watching the people outside, he didn't pay much attention to the road and that ended being a big mistake. Jeonghan noticed the driver was taking him in the opposite direction to where he wanted to go.

"Excuse me but I don't think you're going the right way," Jeonghan told the driver, the police station was in the opposite direction.

"Oh, we are definitely going the right way," the driver suddenly locked the car's doors.

"Goodnight," a woman's voice whispered from behind Jeonghan's seat.

Jeonghan silently cursed, he should have listened to Vernon. He felt something hard hit the back of his head but he managed to catch a small glimpse of the driver before everything went dark. It was Lee Donghoon, that fucking bastard.  
________________________________________________________________________________________________________

Jeonghan regained his consciousness when he felt cold water splash across his face. He coughed at the liquid that went up his nose and into his mouth, his eyes fluttering open. Jeonghan squinted trying to adjust to the light. He tugged at his hands finding that they were tied together with zip ties and his phone was gone. Jeonghan flinched when there was a sudden loud bang. His eyes darted around looking at his surroundings, he was in a warehouse. Jeonghan tried to stand up but he realized his ankles were also zip tied -- just like Jihoon, he was seething.

"Finally awake huh?" a man's voice caught his attention.

Jeonghan took in the sight of Lee Donghoon sitting on a wooden crate with an empty bottle in his hand and a cigarette in the other. His thin lips forming a scowl as he looked down at Jeonghan. He threw the empty plastic bottle at Jeonghan's head and continued to take long drags of his cigarette, making sure to blow the smoke into Jeonghan's direction every time. Jeonghan coughed, his eyes watered and his head began to hurt from the smell.

"Why the fuck are you doing this?" Jeonghan asked, his anger boiling up inside of him.

"That's none of your fucking business, punk," Donghoon flicked his cigarette, the butt landing at Jeonghan's feet.

Before Jeonghan could utter a word, he heard the sound of coughing followed by pained groans. Jeonghan craned his neck looking behind Donghoon to see a head of dark hair and sunkissed skin. Mingyu. Jeonghan's eyes began watering for a completely different reason seeing that Mingyu's body was covered in bruises, his back was turned fully showcasing the cuts and scapes that bled through the thin shirt he was wearing -- his younger brother must have been freezing.

"Mingyu!"Jeonghan shouted unable to hide his concern.

Mingyu hearing the sound of his hyung's voice slowly rolled over. Jeonghan's brows knitted together watching Mingyu groan in pain. Jeonghan let out a gasp looking at his younger brother whose lower lip was dripping blood while his handsome face still bared the scratches from his mother's slap. His Mingyu needed help. Jeonghan's tears began falling before he could stop himself.

"So this is who you've been fucking," Donghoon walked over to Jeonghan.

"Don't you dare touch him!" Mingyu roared as he propped himself up on his elbows.

"Disgusting, fucking your own older brother," Donghoon squatted beside Jeonghan, his eyes mocking Mingyu.

"Get away from him!" Mingyu began dragging himself across the floor.

"I can see why though, such a pretty little thing isn't he?" Donghoon ran a pudgy hand through Jeonghan's blonde locks.

Jeonghan scooted away from the man's touch, pure disgust bubbled inside of him seeing the older man's lustful eyes looking his body up and down. He turned to Mingyu who looked like he was ready to kill. Jeonghan bared his teeth watching Donghoon's hand approach him again but the man immediately pulled it back when the doors of the warehouse opened. They watched as Jeon Hwayoung herself made her way across the space, the clacking of her red heels echoed as she walked. She removed her sunglasses revealing dark penetrating eyes and jet black hair like her son but that was the end of their resemblance. Hwayoung looked at Jeonghan like he was an insect, an insect she wanted to crush.

"You made this far too easy, Jeonghan-shi," Hwayoung smiled looking at him.

"Darling, are you happy? I got all three of them and I even got Mingyu for you," Donghoon's voice suddenly changed as he began walking towards his wife.

"Got all three? I told you to kill them yet the two you supposedly "took care of" are still alive! You only managed to snag this one because I helped you!" Hwayoung's expression morphed into a mask of anger.

She angrily walked over to Mingyu and gave him several kicks before digging her heel into his thigh. Mingyu let out a cry of sheer agony causing Jeonghan to scream for the bitch to stop. She turned to look at him with a deranged look in her eyes. She came to stand in front of Jeonghan and turned up his chin holding it between her sharp manicured nails. 

"Life must be so easy for you, a rich father and a rich mother who love you unconditionally. You've never had to work a single day in your life, have you?" Hwayoung tightened her grip on his chin, her nails breaking the skin.

"Fucking let go of him!" Mingyu snarled.

"Shut up! You ruined my life and here I was thinking I would give you a second chance at being a good son. I gave you a second chance! All you had to do was obey!" Hwayoung spat at her son.

"Second chance? You wanted me to kill the old man and my brothers for the company! Why the fuck would I want to do that?" Mingyu spat right back at her.

"You owe me you little bastard , do you know how much I suffered because of you and that prick Kim Daehan?" Hwayoung turned her full attention back on her son.

"We did nothing to you, you crazy bitch!" Mingyu looked over at Donghoon who stared at his wife with glazed eyes.

"Do you know how horrible it was to only be known as the abusive bitch who abandoned her son? My face was plastered on televison, magazines and newspapers making a mockery of me. I was young and beautiful yet because of that man I couldn't lift my head! He left me with nothing! I swore I would give back what Kim Daean did to me tenfold," Hwayoung gave Mingyu a cold look, pupils retracted making her look almost alien.

Jeonghan knew exactly what he was dealing with. Jeon Hwayoung was without a doubt a narcissistic psychopath. The self-entitlement, the need for attention and the exploition of the people around her were all very much marks of a narcissist. She was manipulative, marrying and brainwashing a rich, low self-esteemed man to do her bidding was her greatest achievement. She had no empathy toward her son or who she abused, she didn't bat an eye when mentioning murder and the lack of guilt solidified Jeonghan's diagnosis that she was a psychopath. It was all about her, nobody else's happiness mattered more than her own and she was willing to kill for her delusional dream. 

"You did this to yourself! You left me for your dipshit husband over there!" Mingyu shouted, obviously frustrated.

"Shut up!" Hwayoung shrieked.

"I'll fix it for you sweetheart, I'll give you everything you want," Donghoon knelt at his wife's feet as if he was paying respects to a god, in his eyes she probably was.

The man had been completely brainwashed by the way he idolised the woman, Jeonghan almost bad for the man -- key word, almost. From the expensive attire, the Rolex he wore on his wrist to the obvious way he tried to hide a fading hairline Jeonghan could tell the man did his best to appear confident. He'd studied multiple cases where people could be conditioned and groomed to behave a certain way if you play into their ego. The snake, Jeon Hwayoung, had found the man's insecurities and stroked his ego; gained his trust and manipulated him to the point where he listened to her every whim like a dog -- that was scary, so very scary.

"I might get in trouble now if they find out that I did it, why don't you be a good husband and show me what you're willing to do to keep me safe," Hwayoung spoke to her husband with a sickeningly sweet voice -- Jeonghan wanted to vomit.

"I'll keep you safe, they'll never know it was you! They'll never know!" Donghoon nodded vigorously.

"You two made this far too easy for me. I found out about your sick little secret from Mingyu's "collection" of photos. You should really get the locks changed at that getaway house of yours. It was so easy to get into."

Mingyu grunted as he finally managed to work his way over to Jeonghan. His hands and feet were also bound, all they could do was lean on one another. Mingyu pressed his forehead against Jeonghan's, the two shared the same look of worry. Jeonghan's vision blurred as he looked at his battered Mingyu.

"The tragic story of Yoon Jeonghan, son of Seventeen Records CEO gets sexually assaulted and killed at the hands of a jealous mentally ill younger brother. Thrilling title don't you think? It's perfect! You make the perfect scapegoat my son, you're finally useful for something. This is the closure I get to have after all these years. No more people looking down on poor little Hwayoung, no more climbing; I will be on top. To top it off I can get rid of you and not have to take the blame," Hwayoung pointed at Mingyu.

"I hope you burn," Mingyu's tone was animalistic.

"Oh I assure you I won't be, with all of the evidence pointing in your direction how could anyone else be suspected? You have no proof, no trail leading back to me. Just your words against mine," Hwayoung smiled menacingly.

"You think I'm the only one who knows?" Jeonghan laughed. "Even if I die here, you will definitely be to blame."

"Bluffing won't help you, sweetheart," Hwayoung wagged her manicured finger in his face.

Jeonghan smirked. He wasn't bluffing. 

"Hyung," Mingyu's voice called for him. 

Mingyu's breathing was ragged but it still dripped with anger. Jeonghan whispered words into his ear trying to calm the boy, not because he wanted Mingyu to redirect his anger but mainly because he was bleeding from his wrists trying to undo his bindings. Jeonghan received a kiss on the lips and Mingyu looped his arms over Jeonghan's head to settle around his torso -- the boy's large frame gave him comfort in their supremely fucked up situation.

"I think we shouldn't dilly dally any longer, me and my husband have dinner reservations tonight and we really don't want to be late," Hwayoung's casual tone paired with her penetrating gaze was unnerving.

Jeonghan watched Hwayoung reach into her trench coat pocket and pulling out a gun. The psycho bitch had a gun. He now knew what the expensive purchase she had made was for, a firearm. Jeonghan couldn't breath, he broke out in cold sweat and his whole body shook. The expression "staring down the barrel of a gun" becoming all too real in that moment. He closed his eyes, bracing himself for what was to come. Jeonghan heard the bang and the burning of the bullet as well as extra weight in his front. Jeonghan slowly opened his eyes making eye contact with Mingyu who had managed to position himself in front of his hyung. Jeonghan let out a gut wrenching scream in both pain and horror. Mingyu bled from his chest and so did Jeonghan, he raised his bound hands to stroke Jeonghan's cheek before falling sideways. Mingyu's head hitting the concrete was a sound that he never wanted to hear ever again. The blood that pooled out from his younger brother's body was too much, Jeonghan felt his consciousness leave him as he too began to bleed. He landed with a loud thud beside Mingyu, with the last ounce of strength he reached for Mingyu's face stroking the smooth cheek.

"Mingyu," Jeonghan whispered as he followed his younger brother into the abyss.

Jeonghan could have sworn he heard the sound of police cars and helicopters approaching them but it could have been his mind playing a cruel trick on him. If it was real he begged that they would save his younger brother, nothing mattered as long as Mingyu lived. Please let Mingyu live.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Here's another update y'all!~ I was supposed to upload a few days ago but I got caught up in assignments!~ Please forgive!~~~~


	9. The Goodbye

Jeonghan ached, his body felt like a dead weight and his throat was so very dry. He blinked slowly, his eyes equally as dry as his throat. He was about to give up on trying to wake up but the sound of a woman's sobbing became new motivation for him to open his eyes. He knew that voice, it was his mother's.

"Mom," Jeonghan managed to say, coughing after he uttered the word.

"Jeonghan? Jeonghan!" His mother immediately grabbed his hand, her usually impeccable manicured nails chipped and worn.

"What happened mom?" Jeonghan asked, looking around as the white walls around him.

"You were shot sweetheart, that woman shot you," His mother touched his hair, her face free of makeup and her cheeks flushed from crying.

"I tried to tell the police, mom. They didn't listen to me," Jeonghan regretted not disclosing the information he had earlier, he wasn't fast enough.

"Don't you dare blame yourself Yoon Jeonghan," His mother gave him a stern look.

"But I had information, mom," Jeonghan felt tears of regret fall, warming his cold face.

Jeonghan berated himself, he had information about both Hwayoung and Donghoon yet he didn't alert the authorities right away. His attempt at playing detective had backfired. It all would have turned out differently if he hadn't suspected Mingyu, if only he had been upfront and asked Mingyu that morning when he'd returned from the hospital with Soonyoung. That was when Jeonghan froze, where was Mingyu? What happened to Mingyu?

"Mingyu! Where's Mingyu?!" Jeonghan began to sit up but let out a groan before clutching at his chest.

Jeonghan fell back onto the bed convulsing in pain. His mother shot up from her seat next to his hospital bed whispering words of comfort as Jeonghan stopped his convulsions. She ran her hands through his hair shushing her son as she would a small child. Seeing her son in pain filled her with indescribable distress.

"Mingyu's is in a different room, sweetheart, his condition is much worse than you so he's in intensive care," his mother informed him.

"How long have I been asleep?" Jeonghan asked.

"It's been a week," his mother wiped at his tears with her handkerchief.

"How did you find us?" Jeonghan swallowed.

"Vernon tried to call you that day to see if you got back safely. Since you never picked up Vernon tracked your phone in order to get your location. He notified the police and he called me as well as your father. I'll be eternally grateful to that boy."

"What happened after that?" Jeonghan coughed, even coughing hurt.

"Vernon handed over all the information you two gathered to the police. That useless detective Song acted as if she herself discovered that information all on her own. I was angry as it was because I thought you were dead yet that cow had to butt in saying that you withholding information was the reason investigations didn't go smoothly. So I punched her."

"You punched a detective?" Jeonghan's eyes bugged out of his head.

"Yes and I'd do it again," his mother continued stroking his hair.

"Do you have anything else about Mingyu's condition?"

"He suffered a very bad head injury when his head hit the ground and the blood loss didn't help. You both got so lucky, just a hair's width and you both would have been dead. Mingyu was beaten black and blue, poor boy," his mother shook her head.

"When will I be able to see him?" Jeonghan asked, hands gripping the blanket covering his torso.

"Soon sweetheart, soon."

Jeonghan was left alone in the room after his mother notified him that she needed to speak with the nurses. He touched the bandaged area over his chest wincing at the blinding pain. Him and Mingyu were alive, beaten and wounded but alive. Jeonghan bit his lip, slowly he pulled himself into a sitting position on the bed.

"Maybe this is truly a sign that I need to let him go," Jeonghan mumbled to himself.

Jeonghan thought back on his time with Mingyu and sighed. Their relationship was like a bad game of poker, every time they had the worst hand possible. Just when they thought they had a chance life would throw out a royal flush leaving them with empty pockets. Jeonghan really had lost his favour with lady luck after he came back to South Korea. He wanted to leave, he wanted out.

"Honey, what are you doing? Lie down, you're hurt!" His mother came back into the room.

"Mom, I want to leave this place," Jeonghan said with tears in his eyes.

"I'm getting us out of here the minute you're well enough, don't you worry."

"Can I...can I go see Mingyu?" Jeonghan's pleading eyes directed themselves at his mother.

"You really care about him, don't you?" Her expression thoughtful.

"Yes," Jeonghan nodded.

"I'll go ask the nurses and I'll let them be the judge, you might not be well enough to be moving Jeonghan," his mother exited the room once again.

As promised she brought in two nurses who did several inspections of Jeonghan's wounds before they gave him the thumbs up. He was carefully transferred into a wheelchair and pushed down the hall. They wheeled him through the intensive care unit where he was directed into one of the rooms. Jeonghan's lip quivered at the sight of his younger brother who had his head bandaged as well as his chest. His exposed upper torso bore bruises of every colour and his usual healthy bronze complexion was replaced by an unhealthy shade of green. Jeonghan clenched his fists forcing himself to stay calm. He was going to ask the nurses to take him back to his room when another wheelchair was rolled into the room. Jeonghan looked over his shoulder, his dad's eyes meeting his. He started sobbing.

"I'm sorry, dad," Jeonghan cried.

"Give us a moment," Kim Daehan asked the nurses to leave.

"I couldn't protect any of them," Jeonghan's guilt rendering him unable to look his dad in the eye.

"You can't blame yourself for something that is out of your control," his father touched his hand.

"I'm a bad omen for this family, everything has been going wrong ever since I arrived," Jeonghan cradled his head in his hands.

"Stop blaming yourself, son!" His father grabbed his hand, trying his best to comfort his first born.

"Dad," Jeonghan's tone suddenly serious, the word 'son' triggered him. "Is Mingyu really your son?"

"No," his father answered, voice unwavering.

"How long have you known?" Jeonghan's sobs dulling to a hiccup.

"Since I took custody of him ten years ago. I realized he wasn't mine when he was hospitalised and they did a blood test on him. He was just so fragile, I couldn't bear the thought of leaving him behind just because he wasn't my flesh and blood. Mingyu needed me, he needed a father. He needed someone to love him," Jeonghan's father wiped away a tear looking over at his youngest.

"So we aren't actually brothers," Jeonghan processed the information.

"Yes, so you're free to love each other," his father's words causing him to feel faint.

"What?" Jeonghan asked, maybe he didn't hear that right.

"I knew, I knew about you two. Mingyu wears his heart on his sleeve. I saw the looks he gives you and I know he was the one who stole the photographs of you off my desk when he was younger. I was angry when I found out, what parent wouldn't if they found out their son had a crush on their sibling? However, I'm a dying man. My days left on this Earth are coming to an end, what you two choose to do with your lives doesn't really affect me. You aren't even real brothers so why should I even care?" His father looked at him, giving Jeonghan a bittersweet smile.

"I don't think I can be with him," Jeonghan frowned.

"Why not?" His father asked.

"Because I'm his biggest trigger. You were wrong about him, "the protector" inside Mingyu didn't manifest from his abuse, that dangerous side of him was there all along. His "happy" ulterego is the one that manifested, a facade that manifested to appear like he was okay when in actuality he was suffering. The real Mingyu is impulsive and reckless, almost childish and his interest in me only intensified all those qualities. If I continue to keep myself in the picture sooner or later he'll do something crazy. There have been links between psychopathy and genetics dad, under the right conditions this may cause Mingyu to end up like his mother."

"Then what are you planning to do, son?" His father looking back and forth between his two boys.

"I have to cut myself out of his life," Jeonghan concluded.

They both sat there in silence, there was nothing to say. Jeonghan held his father's hand, allowing the man to absorb the information. He was wheeled off to his room after that, his nurse gave him food as well as his medication. He was grateful for the painkillers and the drowsiness caused by one of his other pills. Jeonghan didn't want to wake up.

The following weeks consisted of Jeonghan constantly wheeling himself through the hospital to check up on his siblings. Jihoon had gained consciousness and was very much enjoying the rest he was given, the boy loved making music but he loved sleep even more. Soonyoung was a whole other story, Jeonghan found him fighting with the doctor asking to be released early. Soonyoung hated being dormant in one spot, the compulsory bed rest was more punishing than being poisoned. There were still traces of cyanide in his system therefore every time he tried to move about he'd get nauseous and was forced to get back in bed. Jeonghan had only watched Mingyu through the square window of his hospital room door, he started the distancing as soon as he could -- he thought by doing so it would hurt less when it was time for him to leave. However it didn't work, he only hurt more.

Jeonghan was doing his usual round of checkups, now on his own two legs since he was well enough to walk. He stopped in the hallway overhearing noise coming from Mingyu's room. Quietly, he walked over and pressed himself against the wall, ear close to the threshold. He swallowed nervously.

"He's awake, well, he was awake," the doctor said to one of his colleagues.

"Any abnormalities in his behaviour?" The other doctor jotting down notes from what Jeonghan was hearing.

"He doesn't seem to remember what happened to him. I think we're dealing with a case of Retrograde Amnesia. His brain seems to have blocked off the traumatic experience completely. When I asked him certain questions he only refers to events that happened well over a month ago. He doesn't seem to remember his eldest brother either. Strangely enough he remembers everyone but his eldest brother."

"Everyone but me," Jeonghan whispered to himself.

"We had a psychology specialist come by earlier and she said the patient seems to have no more signs of Dissociative Personality Disorder. He may have lost some of his memory but this accident might have caused his brain to rewire and correct itself. She also said the reason Mingyu-shi doesn't remember his older brother lies in the fact that he was part of the traumatic experience; therefore his mind erased his brother from memory altogether," the doctor concluded.

Jeonghan raised a hand to cover his mouth. He began walking away, tears streaming down his cheeks unable to hold back. Mingyu was fixed, this was what Jeonghan wanted. Memories of their secret relationship playing over and over in his head, the good the bad and the ugly. Jeonghan slowly tiptoed away back to his room He climbed back into his hospital bed and pulled the covers over his head. Mingyu didn't remember him, not a single thing. Jeonghan curled himself into a ball, the dull ache in his chest began hurting all over again. He just had to wait a few more days before he could leave this place, just a few more days.

When it was time for him to go, Jeonghan was already beginning to question himself. After talking with Soonyoung and Jihoon about what happened between him and Mingyu, the two younger boys were equally shocked. They were even more surprised when their father dropped the bomb and told them Mingyu wasn't even their brother. Soonyoung had compared their family to a prime time television drama and in that moment he was very much right. Every melodramatic situation Jeonghan could think of had played out in front of his eyes.

"Do you really have to go?" Soonyoung had asked.

"Do you?" Jihoon had mirrored his brother's question.

"I can still visit you, I won't be gone forever," he's assured them.

"But you won't just be down the hall from us anymore," Soonyoung whined.

"I want to stay but I'm hurting, I'm suffocating. I love you two, I mean that but...I just want some time alone. Somewhere far away where I don't have to think and constantly worry," Jeonghan confessed.

"Stay safe, hyung," Jihoon said before hugging his older brother.

"Stay safe at all costs," Soonyoung joined in, the three of them standing in silence unable to find the words they wanted to say to one another.

They had parted ways after that. They made a promise to walk away without looking back. Prolonging the process would only hurt them more. Jeonghan began crying again the minute he closed the door to his hospital room. He liked being an older brother, he liked pampering his siblings and he loved being adored by said siblings. Jeonghan had to shake some sense into himself before he finally began packing his belongings inside the room into a duffel bag.

Jeonghan slipped on his coat and ran a hand through his long blond locks, he was taking long deep breaths to prevent himself from crying. He took quiet steps across the room where his beloved laid under the deep navy sheets. Short black hair framed his handsome face while dark eyelashes fluttered in sleep. Jeonghan sat down by the edge of the bed and reached for the sleeping boy under the covers, eighteen years of age but still very much a child. He touched the smooth sun-kissed skin of his cheek and placed a gentle kiss on the boy's forehead; Jeonghan looked at the boy's lips and shook his head. He had to leave, intimacy was just going to make it harder to say goodbye.

"It's for the best, one of us has to do the right thing," Jeonghan said biting his lower lip.

He stroked the boy's hair one more time before leaving the room. Jeonghan went back to his room taking only a duffel bag and didn't turn back. He just walked and kept on walking, wishing that he had never come to this place. Wishing he had never gotten involved. He wanted his time back, he wanted to go back to a time when he didn't know how much it hurt to love someone.

"I'm sorry Mingyu-ah," Jeonghan said as he got into a taxi, he needed to get to the airport.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Chapter 9 is finally up, yay!~


	10. The Return

Jeonghan climbed out of the taxi with his duffel bag into tow. He headed inside the airport with intentions to check-in, only problem was he was suddenly faced with Choi Seungcheol standing in his way. He didn't look happy.

"Seungcheol," Jeonghan acknowledged.

"That's all you have to say? Not even telling me you were leaving?" Seungcheol furrowed his brow.

"Yes," Jeonghan said.

"You really are a cold hearted creature, Yoon Jeonghan," Seungcheol sounded hurt.

"I'm not denying that," Jeonghan smiled sadly.

"If Mingyu wasn't in the picture, do you think we could have been something?" Seungcheol looked at him with pleading eyes.

"I think we could have," Jeonghan answered.

"Do you really have to go? Why not just stay? Hwayoung and Donghoon are going on trial soon, you'll have to fly back for it anyway," Seungcheol sounded desperate.

"I need time just by myself, this place just isn't where I want to be right now. You're an amazing person, don't spend your time pining after me. I want you to be happy and that happiness is something you will never find if you keep holding a torch for me," Jeonghan held Seungcheol's shoulders.

"Fly safe," Seungcheol finally said after a long silence.

Jeonghan allowed himself to be pulled into Seungcheol's arms. They held each other as if in mourning of the relationship they never got to have. Seungcheol stroked Jeonghan's hair relishing in the man's scent and feel, chances were this was the only time he'd be able to hold and touch him so intimately.

"I hope you find your happiness as well," Seungcheol said before releasing Jeonghan.

"May we both be successful in our pursuit of happiness," Jeonghan looked up at Seungcheol.

Jeonghan adjusted the strap on his duffel bag, slinging it over his shoulder before getting on his tippy toes. He pressed a kiss on Seungcheol's cheek before walking towards the check-in gate. He gave Seungcheol a final look over his shoulder.

"My parting gift," Jeonghan waved before disappearing into the crowds of other travelers.

"Such a cruel creature," Seungcheol shook his head touching the spot where Jeonghan had kissed him.

* * *

 

Jeonghan took off his sunglasses running a hand through his short blond locks. The new cut giving him a fresher appearance, it was like he'd started a new chapter. Spending a month in sunny Los Angeles did him wonders. He didn't have a care in the world over there and he had time to let his heart heal. Jeonghan didn't feel reality hit him until he got off the plane at Incheon Airport. It was when he stepped out into the familiar surroundings that his heart sank. He had just walked past where he and Seungcheol had parted ways. He exited the airport with a sad smile on his lips. Jeonghan was faced with an excited looking Soonyoung in the pickup area. The boy ran to him and took his luggage before Jeonghan could protest.

"Hyung! You cut your hair! You look so good! How've you been?" Soonyoung asked as he loaded Jeonghan's suitcase into the boot of the car.

"I should be asking you the same question," Jeonghan pulled his younger brother into his arms.

"I'm good, missed you quite a bit but I'm doing just fine," Soonyoung returned his older brother's embrace.

"How's our genius composure doing?" Jeonghan raised a brow.

"Why don't you ask him yourself?" Soonyoung nodded toward the car's rearview window.

Jihoon was sat in the backseat looking rather sulky in Jeonghan's opinion. He climbed into the backseat with Jihoon who immediately turned to look out the window. Jihoon was trying to ignore him. Jeonghan shook his head in amusement before pulling the boy towards him.

"I missed you too," Jeonghan said as he ruffled Jihoon's hair.

"Why didn't you call?" Jeonghan felt Jihoon's arms slowly make their way around his waist.

"I'm sorry," Jeonghan apologised.

Soonyoung climbed into the driver's seat and from beside him he heard Jihoon make a silent prayer. Jeonghan put on his seatbelt and gripped on the handle above the car door. He loved his younger with all his heart but he didn't want to die after just narrowly avoided death just a month ago.

"I have news about Mingyu," Soonyoung said from the steering wheel.

"Oh?" Jeonghan tried to sound nonchalant.

"Yeah, after he hit his head it's like he's a completely different person. He's just so...normal. Too normal, to the point where it's actually weird. I think I prefer the old unpredictable Mingyu over this one, the nornal Mingyu is just bland."

"Agreed, the "fixed" Mingyu has about as much personality as a desk chair," Jihoon nodded.

"Are you going to be okay with seeing Mingyu again?" Jihoon turned to him with a concerned expression.

"I have to be," Jeonghan smiled sadly.

Jeonghan thought about what he wanted to say to Mingyu every waking moment since he had left the boy in the hospital. He had selfishly wished that Mingyu would remember him and they would have their happy ending. His rational side however would always snap him out of his delirium, reminding him that if Mingyu remembered him the possibility of Mingyu's old psychotic self would return also. Jeonghan had to remind himself that Mingyu wasn't his anymore, he had no claim over the younger boy.

"Home sweet home," Soonyoung said as they drove up the winding driveway.

Jeonghan felt the overwhelming sense of deja vu as he stepped out of the car. The familiar structure of the Kim estate awakening memories he'd pushed to the back of his mind for the past month. His father was already at the front of the house in his wheelchair ready to greet Jeonghan. Jeonghan didn't hesitate as he bent down to give his frail father a hug. The older man stroked his short blond locks and gave his eldest son a once over, inspecting his child as if his son wasn't a full grown adult but a small child. Jeonghan found it rather endearing.

"All of you are finally home," the genuine happiness in his father's voice made Jeonghan tear up.

"Sorry for leaving dad, I just...I just needed some time away," Jeonghan guiltily looked at his father.

"I think you needed some time as well, son," his father patted his hand.

Jeonghan opened his mouth to reply but no words left his mouth as he noticed a figure looming around the threshold of the doorway. Kim Mingyu himself stepped out dressed in a simple white t-shirt and tracksuit pants looking like a daydream. Jeonghan swallowed, oh how he had missed that handsome face. Mingyu looked at him with curious eyes as he approached.

"Hi, Jeonghan-hyung," Mingyu's voice lacked the low timber of his darker side as well as the sweetness of his lighter one; this Mingyu definitely wasn't his.

"Mingyu, greet your older brother properly," his father gave Mingyu an authoritative look.

"I'm sorry," Mingyu held out his hand. "Nice to see you, Jeonghan-hyung."

"Let's think of this as a fresh start shall we?" Jeonghan shook Mingyu's hand, his heart starting to ache -- it hurt more than he could ever imagine.

Jeonghan began to let go but was surprised when Mingyu grabbed his wrist. Mingyu seemed surpised by his own actions as he immediately let go. Jeonghan cleared his throat turning his attention back to his father, avoiding looking over at Mingyu. He wheeled his father's chair back into the house oblivious to the fact that Mingyu's eyes followed him until they were out of sight.

Jeonghan allowed Soonyoung to lead him up the stairs and down the corridor to his old room. The interior remained the same but the glass vases that occupied the room has been replaced by different arragements.

"We kept the room exactly how you left it," Soonyoung said he pulled Jeonghan along the corridor.

"Thanks, you really didn't have to go through the trouble," Jeonghan smiled. "It's just a place to sleep at the end of the day."

"Are you going to stay here with us or are you just here until Hwayoung's trial?" Jihoon leaned against the threshold of Jeonghan's bedroom door.

"I don't know," Jeonghan admitted. "That depends on whether or not I'll be able to co-habitate with Mingyu."

"Fucking Mingyu," Jihoon shook his head as he returned to his room.

"Sorry, hyung. He's been a little bit of a brute since you left, he and Mingyu still don't see eye to eye...physically and figuratively," Soonyoung patted his older brother's back before he too took his leave. "We'll be in our rooms if you need us."

"Thanks, Soonyoung," Jeonghan said as he closed the door and fell back on his mattress.

He closed his eyes and took in the smell of clean cotton from his sheets and relished in the feeling of the cool fabric on his back.

* * *

  
Curious was the best word Kim Mingyu could think of when it came to his eldest brother. Soonyoung and Jihoon seemed to be completely enamored by Jeonghan. Mingyu had tried so very hard to remember his eldest brother but he just couldn't, he was so very interested to know what his relationship was like with his pretty older brother -- pretty was definitely not a word he'd ever used to describe another man, that was odd. Mingyu wanted to know why his heart would ache every time he saw Jeonghan, he just didn't understand the sudden urge to cry when Jeonghan looked at him with those sad eyes of his. It was as if his eldest brother was keeping a secret from him and Mingyu wanted to know what that secret was.

He walked out into the kitchen for a quick drink of water when he came across Jeonghan sitting on one if the stools by the kitchen counter with a bowl of strawberries beside him. His older brother looked completely angelic as he concenrated on the book he held in his hand while taking small bites of the small red fruit. Mingyu's legs carried him over to his brother without him even noticing, before he knew it he was right in front of his older sibling. Jeonghan looked up giving Mingyu a look if surprise but quickly cleared his throat and straightened out his features -- Mingyu felt his heartbeat accelerate. He found it odd but his body reacted to Jeonghan so very strongly, his chest hurt and his hands quivered.

"Can I help you there?" Jeonghan asked arching a brow.

"What are you hiding?" Mingyu looked at him with an unwavering gaze.

"Hiding?" Jeonghan feigned ignorance.

"Is there a reason why you keep looking at me with those eyes? Why do you look like you're going to cry when you look at me?" Mingyu's hand reached out to stroke his older brother's cheek.

"How would you feel if your loved one suddenly forgot your existence in their life?" Jeonghan asked clasping his book shut with a dull clap -- his emotions getting the better of him.

"I'm sorry hyung, I-" Mingyu suddenly felt like a piece of shit.

"Please refrain from touching me, I don't appreciate it," Jeonghan said.

"I just-"

"I need to go, I need some space," Jeonghan held up his palm against Mingyu's chest urging him to step back before taking quick deliberate steps out of the kitchen.

Mingyu watched Jeonghan's back disappear into the foyer with guilt bubbling inside of him. He began following his hyung, he needed to apologise. Mingyu was about to open his mouth when he noticed his brother was not alone. Jeonghan was talking to someone at the front door. Mingyu tucked himself close to the side of the threshold of the doorway peeping from the side to see who his brother was talking to.

"It's nice to see you, you look really good," Seungcheol had come to visit.

"You're looking not so bad yourself," Jeonghan smiled.

"You cut your hair," Seungcheol touched Jeonghan's blond locks, Mingyu felt anger build inside of him -- he couldn't understand why.

"It was time for a change," Jeonghan ran a hand through his own hair.

"How are you feeling?" Seungcheol asked, eyes filled with worry.

"Frustrated, melancholic, heartbroken, the list goes on," Jeonghan shook his head, arms crossing over his chest.

"Just forget him Jeonghan, you don't need Mingyu to be happy. You have me," Seungcheol grabbed Jeonghan's hand.

Mingyu watched from his hiding spot with a confused expression on his face. What did Seungcheol mean by Jeonghan not needing him to be happy? Why did Seungcheol touch his brother so intimately and why did the idea of his sibling being with Seungcheol make Mingyu feel so angry?

"Please not this again, you're amazing but I just can't do it. I don't want a relationship right now," Jeonghan wiped away a tear with the sleeve of his sweater.

"I'm sorry, I'm being selfish. It just hurts you know?" Seungcheol looked away.

"I'm sorry as well," Jeonghan touched Seungcheol's shoulder.

"Mingyu really doesn't deserve you," Seungcheol looked back at Jeonghan.

"Seungcheol," Jeonghan gave the taller man a warning look.

"It's good to see you," Seungcheol held onto Jeonghan's hand. "I really missed you."

"You need to sleep more, Choi Seungcheol," Jeonghan shook his head at the sight of the man's dark circles.

"I know," Seungcheol sighed. "I'm sorry for bothering you, I'll take my leave. I just wanted to see you with my own two eyes."

"You're not a bother," Jeonghan assured.

"I'll see you around, I'd like to catch up properly at some point."

"Me too," Jeonghan nodded.

"Bye," Seungcheol reached out and touched Jeonghan's hand before looking up at the blond's face through his dark web of eyelashes.

"Bye," Jeonghan stared down at Seungcheol's hand as his thumb stroked the back of his.

Mingyu escaped into the dining room before his older brother noticed him eavesdropping. He pressed his palm on the smooth mahogany of the dining table deep in thought about the conversation he'd overheard. It was so odd to him that Seungcheol spoke of him and Jeonghan as if they were more than just siblings, he also was confounded by the surges of anger that seemed to fester whenever Jeonghan was involved. Mingyu watched as the housekeepers began setting the table for dinner, they only set up enough cutlery for two people.

"Shouldn't there be more place settings?" Mingyu asked the woman preparing the table.

"Only you and Jeonghan-shi are home tonight and your father is not well enough to come down," the woman replied before walking back into the kitchen.

Just him and Jeonghan, great. Mingyu took a seat at the table cursing at the fact that the housekeepers had set the table so that he'd be forced to sit face to face with his hyung. Jeonghan came into the dining and looked at the table setting, he frowned but sat down regardless. The silence between them was deafening. Jeonghan bit at his bottom lip as they waited for their meal to come out. A western menu was their dinner, both ate their steaks without a word exchanged between them. Until Mingyu set down his fork and knife unable to stand the tension any longer.

"Hyung, what did Seungcheol mean by me not deserving you?" Mingyu looked over at Jeonghan who set down his knife.

"You were eavesdropping," Jeonghan looked up at Mingyu.

"What did he mean, hyung?" Mingyu was becoming more frustrated.

"Leave it be Mingyu, that was between me and Seungcheol," Jeonghan began cutting into his steak again.

"You really are hiding something from me," Mingyu accused.

"I'll be in my room, I suddenly don't feel all too hungry anymore," Jeonghan left the dining room.

Mingyu angrily balled up the napkin in his hand and threw it down on the table, his hyung wasn't the only one who had lost his appetite. Mingyu spent the rest of his night trying to calm himself. Jeonghan seemed to consume his every thought, from the delicate features to the elegant lines of his body -- it was so wrong but Mingyu couldn't stop himself. Around three in the morning he heard noises coming from Jeonghan's room, he heard the bedroom door open as well as the jangling of keys -- where was his older brother going at such an old time?

Allowing his curiosity to get the better of him Mingyu put on a jacket and his shoes grabbing his own keys from the nightstand. He quietly followed his hyung feeling like a stalker as that was all he did after Jeonghan had returned. He trailed Jeonghan down to the garage where his older brother was starting the engine of a car.

"I have to make sure you never remember, Mingyu-ah," Jeonghan sighed as he climbed into the driver's seat.

'Remember what, hyung?' Mingyu thought to himself.

As the car began backing out into the driveway Mingyu quickly shuffled over to start up his motocycle. He gave Jeonghan space as he followed his brother's vehicle making sure his brother didn't notice him. The one sided game of follow the leader lasted an hour with them driving further and further away from Seoul. It was when Mingyu began seeing familiar sights that he realised where they were headed. They were at their father's getaway house, no one ever came to the getaway house but Mingyu so how did his brother know about it?

Mingyu got out of the car and once again started his silent pursuit. He silently went through the front door and was greeted with a burning smell coming from the fire place in the living room. He approached the fire seeing that there were remnants of burnt photographs surrounding the edges of the fireplace. He heard rustling coming from the master bedroom and was determined to figure about what his brother was hiding. He flung the door to the room open ready to demand an answer only the question never managed to leave his lips. He froze in place looking at the walls consumed by Jeonghan's face. His beautiful Jeonghan. His Jeonghan who he had consumed his thoughts for as long as he could remember.

"Mingyu, what are you doing here?" Jeonghan's shocked expression looking back at him, his hands clutching a handful of photographs.

Mingyu fell to his knees clutching his head, it felt like there were fingers clawing at his brain. Images of Jeonghan's sweat slicked body, of his smile, his tears and his confessions of love entered his mind in droves. Then the voices came, they spoke as if they were in his ear demanding to be released. Mingyu screamed. He felt Jeonghan's hands on his face urging him to come to his senses but he couldn't, the voices were all he could pay attention to.

'Give it back, give my body back! He's mine! Jeonghan needs me!' A voice roared.

'There isn't enough room for another!' The other voice growled.

'Get out! Get out! Get out!' They shouted in unison.

"Jeonghan!" Mingyu screamed one more time before he allowed the voice to fully consume him, he'd lost.

"Mingyu," Jeonghan touched his face again with a shaky hand.

"You are mine until you breath your final breath Yoon Jeonghan," Mingyu pulled Jeonghan to his chest, his hand gripping the back of Jeonghan's neck.

"You're back," Jeonghan's voice broke.

"I refuse to forget you, I refuse," Mingyu whispered in his ear.

"Why do you have to be so stubborn?!" Jeonghan cried into Mingyu's shoulder.

"I'm your shadow, I follow you wherever you go even when you can't see me," Mingyu wiped Jeonghan's tears with his thumbs.

"You are absolutely terrifying, Kim Mingyu," Jeonghan shook his head looking at the devil he'd completely given into.

"I am, aren't I?" Mingyu stroked Jeonghan's cheek.

"You could have been normal, why did you have to throw that all away?" Jeonghan shook Mingyu's shoulders in frustration.

"Because I love you," Mingyu whispered in Jeonghan's ear.

Jeonghan didn't argue after that, he allowed himself to be held. Mingyu's large arms making him feel safer than he'd ever been. A part of him still feared what Mingyu was capable of but he also believed that as long as he acted as Mingyu's conscience the boy would never spiral down to where his mother had fallen. Jeonghan was determined. He wanted the best for his precious Mingyu.

"I missed you," Jeonghan sniffled.

"I've missed you every moment we were apart, I was slowly losing hope. I thought I was going to be stuck in the dark forever. I was so angry, I was going crazy knowing you were right in front of me yet I couldn't do or say anything," Mingyu stroked Jeonghan's lips with his thumb.

"Mingyu," Jeonghan shook his head.

"You can't get rid of me, hyung. You can't get rid of me," Mingyu's eyes narrowed.

"I very much believe that," Jeonghan swallowed.

Mingyu licked his lips, eyes looking Jeonghan up and down like a predator. This was his Mingyu. Jeonghan allowed Mingyu to pull off his sweater and unbutton his shirt. His large hand brushing over the place where the bullet had hit him. Mingyu removed his own shirt revealing an identical scar. They pressed their bodies together relishing in the warmth that radiated from one another. Jeonghan felt tears streak down his face.

"You will never be able to escape me," Mingyu slipped Jeonghan's shirt off his shoulders giving his angel a soft push, Jeonghan fell back on the bed behind him.

Mingyu's hands roamed his body with zero hesitation. Jeonghan watched the younger boy straddle his hips as his face moved in closer and closer until their noses were touching. Jeonghan bent forward closing the distance, the warmth of Mingyu's mouth making him let out a small whimper. The first few seconds were sweet but Mingyu immediately took control invading Jeonghan's mouth licking and biting. Jeonghan heard the sound of fabric ripping and felt the coolness of the air caressing his skin as Mingyu disposed of the rest of his clothing. Mingyu hooked each of Jeonghan's legs over his shoulders getting into position, not once breaking eye contact with his hyung. Jeonghan saw the glint in Mingyu's eyes and he felt his heartbeat accelerate. As always Mingyu was thorough in preparing his hyung, he did not rush the process and he would continually look up at his hyung to make sure his beloved wasn't feeling any pain.

"Hyung," Mingyu breathed, lustful eyes looking at Jeonghan.

"Go ahead," Jeonghan nodded giving Mingyu permission to continue.

Jeonghan moaned as Mingyu slipped his length into his hyung's body. Oh how Jeonghan had missed the feel of Mingyu. His younger brother bent forward biting into the side of his neck and causing the older boy to dig his fingernails into his back. Mingyu let out a satisfied growl as he increased his pace. The younger boy finally let out a roar thrusting into Jeonghan one more time before falling limp on his brother's chest. Jeonghan let out a cry of his own before cradling his tired Mingyu in his arms. They stayed in that position, with Mingyu listening to Jeonghan's heartbeat like he always did -- it felt so right.

"We're not related by blood...you...you still love me right?" Mingyu sounded like a child in that moment.

"I would still love you if you were pink and blue," Jeonghan kissed the top of Mingyu's head.

"I would do anything for you if you asked hyung," Mingyu's fingers circling the bullet scar on his chest.

"I know Mingyu," Jeonghan swallowed hearing the eeriness of that statement.

"My mother's going on trial in three days," Mingyu's grip tightened on his older brother.

"Promise me you won't do anything crazy," Jeonghan looked down at brother.

"I won't, I'll just pay her a visit," Mingyu said as he kissed the bullet scar on Jeonghan's chest.

"I can't stop you, can I?" Jeonghan sighed.

"I need the closure," Mingyu said, intertwining their fingers.

"I trust you," was all Jeonghan said as he closed his eyes, his fatigue getting the better of him.

Mingyu rose for his position looking at his hyung who looked so peaceful in sleep. His short blond locks making him look much younger, he ran his hands through those locks and narrowed his eyes at the scar that marked his angel's pale skin. She's hurt him, the bitch has hurt Jeonghan. Mingyu touched his own scar sitting at the edge of the bed. He was definitely paying his mother a visit, he was ready to give her a talk she would never forget. His last words to her were going to haunt her for the rest of her life.

"You can't get rid of me," Mingyu smirked in the darkness, canines glinting in the moonlight.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Sorry y'all I totally neglected this fic! Please forgive me. I was soccaught up in my other one that this got thrown on the backburner. So here she is, she's late but she's here.


	11. The Intervention

The air in the courtroom was thick, it was so quiet that even the slightest tapping of the foot or rustling of fabric was almost too loud. Jeonghan swallowed and tugged at the collar of his shirt, the top button was digging into his Adam's apple and his leg was beginning to fall asleep. The air conditioning wasn't doing any favours for his already had bad circulation, his toes were freezing and he gritted his teeth to keep them from chattering. His eyes travelled over to Hwayoung who looked at him through her messy head of hair, her greying hair had grown in at the root creating a distinct line between her dyed locks and her real colour. Her face was free from makeup aside from the remaining red that stained the inner rim of his lips and her nail polished was chipped an worn. The woman's cheeks were now hollow, she looked like a shadow of what she once was.

Jeonghan turned to look at Donghoon who sat beside her, the man lips were rambling unintelligible words while he picked at the skin around his nails, the man continued to pick even when he began to bleed -- Jeonghan had to look away. He shouldn't pity those people, they didn't deserve his pity.

"Anything else you want to say for yourself, Jeon Hwayoung-shi?" The judge looked over at Hwayoung who was trying her best to look like the victim.

"Please your honour, I was set up! It was Donghoon! I was only doing what he wanted!" Hwayoung lied through her teeth.

"Donghoon also claims he was o.nly following your orders, who should I believe? You or your husband? All the evidence piled against you seems to paint a rather clear picture here, Hwayoung-shi," the judge pushed his glasses up the bridge of his nose.

"No, no, no!" Hwayoung was grasping at straws.

The jury were also very much unconvinced by Hwayoung's argument as much as the judge -- and everyone else in the courtroom for that matter. It was then that the judge allowed the jury to deliberate. The deliberation did not take long as they came to a verdict rather quickly. A small elderly woman stood up from her seat as a representative for the whole jury. She cleared her throat ready to address the courtroom.

"We, the jury, have come to the conclusion that after hearing from both sides as well as from seeing the evidence provided that Jeon Hwayoung is guilty," the woman said.

Mingyu didn't hear anything after that. He sat in his seat holding Jeonghan's hand under the table, his grip tightening on his hyung's who hadn't stopped shaking since the trial began. He heard Jeonghan let out a shaky breath and did his best to comfort his hyung by rubbing his thumb over the back of Jeonghan's hand -- that was all he could do while they were in the courtroom.

Mingyu watched the scene in front of him like a movie as his mother was dragged away. She was kicking and screaming, her hands clawing in the direction of him and the rest of his family. Mingyu felt a smile play on his lips, he finally gave in allowing his mouth to pull into a sly smirk. His mother's expression turned to a mask of anger looking at her son's face. Mingyu waited through the rest of the proceedings before following the security guards out of the courtroom where reporters flocked in like rabid dogs. Recording devices and microphones from different news outlets were shoved in his face as they got to their car. Mingyu shielded Jeonghan from the tirade as best he could making sure his hyung got in the vehicle safely before climbing into the driver's seat. He beeped his horn at the reporters who continued to flock around his car making them step aside as he pulled out of his parking spot. It was when they were finally on the road that Mingyu heard Jeonghan let out a long breath. The younger boy loosened the tie around his neck slumping against the seat as if all the tension in his body was gone.

"It's over, it's all finally over," Mingyu reached over to touched Jeonghan's hand.

Jeonghan's hand remained limp, he didn't hold Mingyu's hand in return. They drove in comfortable silence reaching the Kim estate. They sat together in the car not saying a word, Mingyu turned over to face his hyung who was looking out the window. He turned Jeonghan's head over to face him giving the older boy a kiss only Jeonghan recoiled.

"You don't have to worry anymore, we're safe," he assured his hyung with a furrowed brow.

"Safe?" Jeonghan muttered as he got out of the car.

Jeonghan got out of the car and stared at his younger brother for a long moment, he looked so innocent with his boyish smile but the moment he saw the look in the boy's eyes, they gave the impression of a darker nature. Did he care for Mingyu? Yes, yes he did but then again he also knew what the boy was capable of. The boy had clawed his way back tooth and nail and that in itself was absolutely terrifying. Jeonghan bit his lower lip, the rose tinted haze had disappeared and he was faced with reality. He was once again reminded that he was not good for Mingyu and Mingyu was not in his right mind.

"Hyung," Mingyu stepped toward the older boy.

"Mingyu, we need to talk," Jeonghan said taking a step away from the younger boy.

He turned his back to Mingyu and walked into the house. The younger boy trailed eagerly after his older brother, the older boy didn't look happy and he was very concerned. He followed Jeonghan up the staircase and down the corridor to the older boy's bedroom. Once inside Jeonghan closed the door and grabbed the younger boy's face in his hands. He stared into the younger boy's eyes.

"Come out," Jeonghan urged, he needed a word with the other Mingyu.

Mingyu's pupils shook for a split second before they dilated, the boy's wide eyes narrowed and his posture changed. Jeonghan swallowed, the shift always made him feel uncomfortable. Mingyu's hands began to snake their way up Jeonghan's arms before enveloping his own smaller hands. Mingyu turned his face and gave Jeonghan's palm a gentle peck. The older boy immediately pulled his hands away and took several steps back keeping a good distance between them.

"What's wrong?" Mingyu tried to get closer to the blond.

"I saw what you did, Mingyu," Jeonghan said.

"What?" Mingyu gritted his teeth.

"You smiled when Hwayoung was taken away," Jeonghan frowned. "I'm not going to lie, it was absolutely terrifying. I didn't like that smile one bit."

"Jeonghan, she hurt me and she hurt you, she's the enemy not me," Mingyu quickly closed the distance between them.

"I don't know anymore, Mingyu," Jeonghan admitted. "Hwayoung and Donghoon may not pose as a threat now but..."

Mingyu's hands formed into fists.

"Are you saying that I'm a threat?" Mingyu's tone was curt.

"Yes," Jeonghan breathed.

"Why would you think that I would ever hurt you? I love you so much," Mingyu's hands came to circle around Jeonghan's throat.

"I know you do but you're unpredictable," Jeonghan didn't recoil, he looked the taller boy in the eye. "You're unable to control your jealousy, you say you won't hurt me but you've come close, Kim Mingyu."

"What are trying to do?" Mingyu's fingers remained on the blond's delicate neck.

"I think we we should end things now, end it before this story becomes one of tragedy," Jeonghan touched Mingyu's chin. "I don't see anything good coming out of this, Mingyu-yah."

"But we've gone through so much to be here, why do you want to abandon me again?"

"I'm not abandoning you, I'm doing what's best for you -- for us," Jeonghan assured.

"But I need you," Mingyu's hands tightened their grip.

"You only think you do,"Jeonghan placed his hands over Mingyu's, the boy's palm was pushing on his Adam's apple

"What can I do to make you stay? I'll do anything," Mingyu nervously licked his lips.

"Get help, Mingyu," Jeonghan answered.

"You think I haven't tried? Dad has pumped a lot of money into fixing me and guess what? I'm still fucked up," Mingyu's brows drew together.

"Because you didn't accept the help, dad showed me all the reports, You refused to cooperate," Jeonghan argued.

"How am I supposed to react when they talk to me like I'm some feral animal?!"

"This is exactly what I mean when I said you weren't cooperative," Jeonghan retorted. "You create these delusional scenarios in your mind and then blame others."

"I thought you were on my side!"

"I am, which is why I'm telling you this," Jeonghan jerked away from Mingyu's hold, it was his turn to grab his younger brother by the throat. "You're insane, you're not normal and you, for a fact, are nowhere near mentally stable. You're impulsive, you never take responsibility for your actions and I'm sick and tired of it. Was I happy that I had both sides of you back? Yes, I was but I also have to remind myself that you're toxic -- so very toxic."

"Why're you suddenly so cold?" Mingyu's pupils shook. "I thought you loved me."

"I do, which is exactly why I think we should put an end to this mess of a relationship," Jeonghan dropped the bomb.

"No," Mingyu shook his head.

"Yes," Jeonghan kept a straight face. "We're a disaster waiting to happen. You may disagree with me but the way I see it, you might just end up killing me one day out of sheer anger. All the patterns are leading in that direction."

"You think I'll end up like my mother?" Mingyu scoffed.

"I do," Jeonghan nodded. "You're a ticking time bomb, Mingyu."

"But you said you trusted me," Mingyu argued.

"I lied," Jeonghan simply replied.

"What else have you lied to me about?" Mingyu looked over at the blond.

Jeonghan didn't answer. He looked away.

"Hyung," Mingyu looked so betrayed.

"I have a flight to catch in the evening," Jeonghan informed the younger boy.

"Where are you going?" Mingyu's turned desperate.

"That's only for me to know," Jeonghan gave the boy a vague answer.

He stepped around the younger boy and opened the door. Two men dressed in plain black suits came through the door followed by their father who was wheeled into the room by one of his caretakers in a wheelchair. The older man had frown that deepened the lines on his wrinkled face. Jeonghan placed a hand on his father's shoulder as Mingyu was ceased by the two men in suits. Mingyu immediately fought against the men but had his arms restrained.

"What are you doing?!" Mingyu's eyes were wild.

"We're getting you help, Mingyu," Jeonghan's tone was cold.

"Dad! Tell them to let me go!" Mingyu kicked and screamed.

"I'm sorry son," the older man shook his head. "I'm sorry."

"Where are you taking me?!" Mingyu shouted as he was dragged out of the room.

Neither his older brother of his father answered. They watched as their family's youngest was pushed into a white van out in the driveway before the vehicle exited the front gates, the sound of the heavy metal hitting against each other sounded so...resolute, so final. Jeonghan bit the inside of his cheek.

"I'm doing the right thing, aren't I, dad?" Jeonghan asked his father.

"You are," his father patted the back of his eldest's hand.

"I still remain his biggest trigger," Jeonghan whispered. "I didn't know my being here would make him revert back to what he was, I'm sorry."

"Don't apologise," his father said. "No one could've predicted that this would happen."

"The look in his eyes scares me, dad," Jeonghan swallowed, the memory of the boy's hot palms around his neck causing him to suddenly sweat.

"I thought I could look past his quirks but the look in his eyes and that smirk he had when we were in that courtroom shook me to my very core," Jeonghan felt a lump rise in his throat. "I do love him but I don't think I love him enough to slowly watch his descent into madness. I just know something bad is going to happen."

"The institution where he's going only allows contact in the form of letters," his father informed.

"I'll definitely write to him, I don't know if he'll ever forgive me for sending him there but I'll write," Jeonghan said. "He needs help, keeping him here is doing him more bad than good. Here he has too much power, he needs to be in an environment where he doesn't have that."

"How long will he be there?"

"Months, years even," Jeonghan replied to the older man. "It's not going to be a short process and with Mingyu's stubborn nature I guarantee you it will be the former."

"Don't you think this was a little too sudden?" His father's frown deepened.

"I think it didn't happen quick enough," Jeonghan countered. "We were enabling his problematic behaviour for too long, dad. He's kidnapped me before, if he's capable of that who knows what else he might do in the future?"

"Why didn't you tell me about this?"

"Because I was stupid, I was so hellbent on protecting him that I didn't want to acknowledge what he was doing was wrong. I thought I was being a good brother but I wasn't, I was just ignoring every red flag -- I didn't want to see him getting in trouble. Ironically, that only made Mingyu think that his actions were okay. I have a degree in psychology yet I let my personal relationship with him get in the way of rational thought. I spent an entire month reflecting while I was away yet the minute I saw Mingyu again I relapsed into my old ways."

Jeonghan felt a tear streak down his cheek. He'd been so caught up in his feelings that night his fucked up Mingyu had returned that he'd thrown his rationality out the window. He now had a clear conscience, he was not going to make the same mistake.

"Do you think this will actually help him?" His father still looked doubtful. "We've already tried so many methods."

"It's all up to Mingyu, if he wants to get better he has to accept the help," Jeonghan sighed.

"What if he doesn't get better?"

"Then he doesn't get out," Jeonghan answered.

Jeonghan felt more tears escaping the corners of his eyes. He did the right thing, he reminded himself, he did the right thing.

 

* * *

SIX MONTHS LATER

* * *

 

"Yoon Jeonghan is here to see you," a nurse informed as Mingyu looked up from his book.

The younger boy watched as the blond walked though the doorway and into the visitation area of the institution. He was dressed in a loosely fitted white sweater and his face held a look of apology coupled with genuine happiness. Mingyu immediately stood from his seat, the plastic chair fell to the ground and bounced off the grey floors. Jeonghan walked up to the younger boy but immediately the guards stopped him in his path. The blond watched as Mingyu was forced back down into his chair before Jeonghan was allowed to move forward. The blond yanked his arm away from the guard before giving him a dirty look, he didn't appreciate being touched.

"I'm sorry," Jeonghan said as he turned his attention to Mingyu.

Mingyu looked down at the older boy's hand. Jeonghan took the hint, he held out his hands and Mingyu into turn reached out to touch the elegant digits. Jeonghan felt a small smile tug at his lips, Mingyu's calloused hands were always so warm.

"Did you get my letters?" Jeonghan asked.

Mingyu nodded.

"My care packages? Have you received those?" Jeonghan continued with his questions.

Once again, he only received a nod.

"I know you're angry at me and I don't blame you but you needed help, Mingyu," Jeonghan furrowed his brow.

"I know," Mingyu finally said. "I know."

"What have you been up to?"

"They keep me occupied with different activities, I get verbal therapy with one of the specialists here once a week and they give me free time for good behaviour," Mingyu replied.

"How long did it take you to finally listen to them?" Jeonghan asked.

"Two months," Mingyu admitted.

"I'm not surprised, you didn't reply to any of my letters in the first two months," Jeonghan played with Mingyu's thumb.

"I was so angry at you, hyung," Mingyu wrapped his fingers around Jeonghan's wrist -- the blond had lost weight. "I was so angry I wanted to kill."

Jeonghan swallowed.

"That was when I realised you were right, I did need help. My mind was slowly eating away at my humanity, it was all about me and what I wanted. I never thought about how my actions would affect you," Mingyu shook his head. "I was turning into my mother."

"You're doing really well based on the reports," Jeonghan smiled up at the younger boy.

"Can I go home yet?" Mingyu's eyes were pleading.

"Not yet," Jeonghan shook his head.

"But hyung-"

"You're not ready, Mingyu," Jeonghan's tone was resolute.

"But I've been so good," Mingyu looked like a frightened child.

"I know you have but you're just not ready," Jeonghan had to pull himself together.

"Jeonghan-shi, visitation hours are ending," the nurse returned. "You have to leave."

"But he just got here!" Mingyu suddenly snapped.

"Mingyu, calm down," the nurse tried to calm the boy.

"Fuck you! I've done everything you've wanted of me yet you won't let me have even five minutes with him?!" Mingyu slammed his hands on the table.

Jeonghan flinched, he wasn't surprised. Mingyu was still very much his unpredictable self.

"Mingyu, if you don't calm down I'll have to call for security!" The nurse warned.

Jeonghan pulled the nurse aside and gave her a look. Mingyu's reaction might've been unwarranted but he didn't appreciate the sudden threat the woman made to call security. The blond walked over and touched Mingyu's face.

"I'll come visit again, okay?" Jeonghan assured. "I'll come as often as I can, you're doing so well."

"Promise?" Mingyu's breathing was heavy.

"Promise," Jeonghan nodded.

"I don't know if I'll ever get better," Mingyu shook his head.

"You are, Mingyu, you are," Jeonghan assured. "The doctors said you no longer hear voices in your head, you're getting there."

"I want to get out of here," Mingyu wrapped his arms around the older boy.

"I know you do, we both do," Jeonghan rubbed his dongsaeng's broad back.

"I'll be waiting for your next visit, I promise I'll start writing back to your letters," Mingyu began to calm down -- something that he never would've done in the past, the boy really was making progress.

Jeonghan got on his tiptoes and gave Mingyu's lips a gentle peck before he separated himself from the boy.

"I'll be back," Jeonghan reassured a second time.

"Bye, hyung," Mingyu gritted his teeth.

Jeonghan waved and gave a sad smile as he exited the room. Mingyu fell back into his chair and started to sob. He needed to behave, he needed to get better, if he got better he got to see Jeonghan and he got to go home. He wiped away his tears and took a deep breath.

"I have to get better," he mumbled to himself as he looked around at the blank white walls around him.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hey y'all and once again I am back with another chapter, if you didn't know, this story was based on a prompt from a former friend and as her friend I wanted to keep her happy by writing according to her preferences. Since we're no longer friends I can safely say that I hated how she wanted me to write this story. So now that we're no longer friends I can finally edit and write things according to my likes. Her original was extremely problematic for many reasons but you can already guess by the whole overall theme of this story. The ending was super predictable as well and I for one hated it. 
> 
> So here is where my story deviates from the original. I know a lot of people won't appreciate the changes but after all, I am the author. *shrugs* Sorry not sorry I guess?


	12. The Healing

* * *

 

ONE YEAR LATER

* * *

 

"Take a seat, Mingyu," an older woman wearing a grey pencil skirt and a white blouse ordered as Mingyu stepped into the room.

It was part of the institution's weekly "treatment," he had to have verbal communication with one of the onsite specialists every week. Mingyu hated it at the start, he hated the questions -- he felt like a criminal who was being interrogated, like an insect being looked at under a magnifying glass. However, over time it got easier. After the first few months the routine felt more like a casual conversation, the paranoia slowly disappeared and the anxiety of allowing someone into his mind also started to fade. Mingyu felt less...on edge, he no longer felt like there was someone out to get him.

The boy shifted in the worn leather of the sofa and reached for the plastic cup of water offered by the therapist -- none of the patients were trusted with glass. The older woman took a seat opposite the teenager and clicked her pen on her clipboard before adjusting the glasses. Mingyu gulped down the rest of his water.

"So," the woman, Dr. Han, began the session. "Anything you'd like to tell me about your week?"

"I received a letter from Jeonghan-hyung," Mingyu answered, his voice monotone.

"What did he say in that letter? If you don't mind me asking."

"He said our dad's health is getting better, he's responding to his kidney transplant really well," Mingyu answered.

"I'm happy to hear that," doctor Han acknowledged. "Anything else?"

"Jeonghan-hyung said he started growing his own vegetable patch in the back garden," Mingyu said. "He named one of the bean poles after me because it grew the fastest."

"Are you happy to know that he's still thinking of you?"

"I am," Mingyu swallowed.

"Jeonghan must really miss you as well," Dr. Han crossed her legs.

"I love him," Mingyu said. "I love him so much."

"He's the one who sent you here, wasn't he? How does that make you feel?"

"Angry," Mingyu's hands formed into fists but he quickly shook himself. "But he did it for the right reasons."

"Why do you think that?" Dr. Han started jotting down notes.

"Because I'm crazy," Mingyu whispered. "He's scared that one day I might end up hurting him."

"Do you agree with him?"

"I-I do," Mingyu admitted, he hated the truth but he had to admit it.

"What made you so infatuated with him, Mingyu? What was it about him that lead to hold him so dear?"

"I used to see photos of him on my dad's desk in his office back at our house. Jeonghan-hyung had a nice smile, he looked like he hadn't had a hard day in his entire life. His clothes always looked new and his mom loved him."

"Were you jealous of what Jeonghan had?"

"Yes, my dad didn't stop talking about how pretty his eldest son was," Mingyu began to scratch at a scab on his arm. "He was the normal one, the golden child, a child that was whole and not broken -- unlike me."

"Did you resent him?"

"I did, for years," Mingyu nodded. "I hated him so much yet I kept tabs on him, I even hired photographers."

"How did you two finally meet?" Dr. Han looked up from her clipboard.

"I tagged along with my dad for a trip to New York a while back. It was Halloween, I decided to check out the nightlife and coincidentally I saw Jeonghan at a club. He was all dressed up but I recognised him, after all I was the sick fuck who had him photographed."

"What happened between you two?"

"He was drunk, he had no idea there were people who stood waiting for the opportunity to grab him," Mingyu's jaw tensed. "I stepped in and fended them off, that was the first time I experienced jealousy on a romantic level, if you could even call it that."

"So you took him away?"

"Back to my hotel room," Mingyu nodded. "I was just as bad as the men in that club, Jeonghan was attracted to me and vice versa. Even though I knew it was wrong I still let it happen, when I woke up in the morning he was gone."

"What happened after that?"

"I'd gotten a taste of the forbidden fruit, I wanted more," Mingyu clasped his hands together.

"So your resentment toward him changed into something else entirely," Dr. Han guessed.

"In my mind I thought it was love but I've now come to realise that it was an unhealthy obsession," Mingyu's eyes lowered to look at his feet. "I manipulated him to care about me, I used my illness to keep him close. I just wanted him to love me back."

"Why did you abduct him, Mingyu? You knew he cared about you so why did you resort to that kind of thing?" Dr. Han continued with her note-taking.

"Because I was angry, I couldn't think straight. I just wanted him to only look at me."

"You've said some unnerving things to Jeonghan in the past," doctor Han pointed out. "Things that would make anyone question your sanity."

"I know, believe me, I know," Mingyu assured. "My mind won't let me forget. I regret it with every passing day."

"I heard you were a little...excited on the day of your mother's trial," Dr. Han twirled her pen. "You smiled when she was dragged away, it was almost sinister-looking according to those who saw it."

"She was getting put away, I couldn't control myself," Mingyu acknowledged.

"Do you hate Jeonghan for sending you here?"

"No," Mingyu shook his head. "He was right, I was a toxic person living in a toxic environment surrounded by toxic people. I was slowly losing my grasp over reality, the voices in my head dictated what I said and did. It was like I was being pulled into two different directions when I just wanted to move forward."

"Have the voices been bothering you recently?"

"I don't hear them very often now, it's like the volume is being turned down. I can vaguely hear them at night but even then it doesn't interfere with my sleep," Mingyu informed. "There was always two voices, nowadays they just...don't sound distinct anymore, I can't tell them apart."

"I can safely say that you truly are getting better, Mingyu," doctor Han smiled at the young boy.

"I am?" Mingyu looked hopeful.

"You're slowly pushing against the walls you've built around yourself all these years, you're finally allowing yourself to succumb to change," the doctor poured him more water. "Jeonghan once told me that he was your biggest trigger but I personally think he may also be your salvation."

"Why do you think that?"

"He's your motivation for getting better, is he not?"

Mingyu nodded.

"You're jumping over these hurdles so that you can be with him," the doctor explained. "You're starting to accept that you're wrong, you're aware of your wrong doings and you're beginning to think for yourself -- the voices no longer control you."

"When will I be able to leave this place?" Mingyu looked at the older woman.

"All of your abnormal behaviour all started with your mother, did it not?"

"Yes," Mingyu nodded, he started picking at his scab again.

"I know it'll be hard but I think the only way you'll be able to move on is to face your demons," the doctor set down her pen.

"You want me to talk to her? After what she's done to me? After what she's done to my brothers?" Mingyu bit the inside of his cheek.

"Yes," Dr. Han nodded. "It may sound impossible but I think you can do it, facing our fears is sometimes the one thing that'll set us free."

"What if it doesn't? What if I just revert back to my old self again, that woman was my original trigger. She made me like this," Mingyu bit at his lower lip until he tasted blood.

"Bring Jeonghan with you," Doctor Han suggested. "Let him be your cane."

"Isn't that dangerous? You're putting me in the same space as my two biggest triggers," Mingyu swallowed.

"I wouldn't suggest it if I knew it wasn't going to work, Mingyu. Believe it or not you're not the worst case I've seen come through these doors. I've been working in this institution for thirty-five years," the woman adjusted her glasses. "I think you're one of the few who have a good chance at overcoming the odds."

"You really mean that?"

"I do," the woman finished off the rest of her notes. "I'll contact your family about what we discussed here today. I'll set things up for you, all you need to do is pick a date."

"Thank you," Mingyu genuinely meant it.

"My pleasure, Mingyu," the woman gave him a smile, the lines around her eyes crinkled when she did so. "Your release date looks to be getting closer and closer. I'm proud of you."

* * *

 

Jeonghan stood inside the front office of the mental institution with a look of worry on his face and a uncomfortable feeling in his stomach. Mingyu was supposed to be released from the place fifteen minutes ago. The boy had yet to appear and Jeonghan was getting antsy -- what was taking so long? Just as he was about to go ask the lady behind the administration desk another question regarding his dongsaeng's whereabouts, the heavy door on his right creaked open and out came Mingyu with a backpack slung on his shoulder and a piece of paper in his hand.

Jeonghan felt his breath hitch, Mingyu immediately dropped his bag and enveloped Jeonghan in his large arms. The taller boy inhaled his hyung's clean scent, the blond smelt like home. Their moment, however, was shortlived as the administrative assistant cleared her throat alerting them of unfinished proceedings. Mingyu quickly handed the woman the sheet of paper in his hand. The woman read over the paper and scribbled down a signature before a bright red stamp. She then handed it back to the taller boy.

"Congratulations, you're all ready to go," the woman's croaky voice announced.

"Thank you," Mingyu nodded.

Jeonghan slid his palm into Mingyu's and promptly lead him out of the depressing white walls of the building. He put Mingyu's backpack in the backseat and gestured for his dongsaeng to join him in the front. The blond put the key into the ignition and drove down the straight driveway and waited as the heavy gate slowly opened. Jeonghan drove for several minutes before he pulled into a random spit on the side of the road and stopped the engine. He reached out to touch Mingyu's face with shaky hands.

"Mingyu," Jeonghan mumbled, his unshed tears beginning to cloud his vision.

"Hyung," Mingyu leaned into the older boy's touch.

"I'm sorry for sending you here but it had to be done," Jeonghan started to sob. "You weren't well, Mingyu. You weren't in your right mind."

"I know, I know," Mingyu repeated. "I understand, hyung."

"I just didn't want to see you becoming a monster," Jeonghan's thumb brushed the boy's sunkissed cheek.

"Don't cry," Mingyu whispered.

"You've gotten so thin," Jeonghan looked at the boy's torso.

"So have you," Mingyu noted.

"You have no idea how happy I am to have you back," Jeonghan pulled Mingyu into his chest. "Not the two sides of you but just you, whole and complete."

"How are you so confident that this isn't just me pretending to be good?" Mingyu challenged.

"Because you can't lie," Jeonghan pulled back to look the younger not in the eye. "It's just something you've never been able to do."

"Can I really go back home?" Mingyu asked.

"Yes," Jeonghan nodded vigorously. "Let's go home."

They continued on their drive back to the estate. There were no words exchanged between them for the remainder of the trip but it was a comfortable silence -- Jeonghan kept one hand firmly on the wheel and an even stronger grip on Mingyu's hand. Just as they were halfway back to the estate Mingyu turned to Jeonghan, his lips twitched with a question he didn't know if he could ask.

"What is it?" Jeonghan noticed the sudden change in his dongsaeng's body language.

"Doctor Han told you about what she wanted me to do once I left the institution, didn't she?"

"She did," Jeonghan looked tense.

"I think...I think we should do it right now," Mingyu said.

"Now?" Jeonghan's jaw dropped. "Don't you think it's a little sudden? You haven't even gone home yet, why don't we leave it for tomorrow?"

"I don't want to stall any longer, hyung. I want to get it over with, I want my closure. I want her out of my life for good and that can only happen if I can talk to her," Mingyu argued.

"Are you sure?" Jeonghan frowned.

"Yes," Mingyu nodded.

"Fine," Jeonghan gave in. "But the minute I see you distressed we're getting the hell out of there."

"Okay," Mingyu agreed.

Jeonghan turned the car around and headed for the highway. The blond felt very unsettled the closer they got to the prison. Two institutions in one day, that was not how Jeonghan wanted to spend his day but it wasn't about him, it was about getting Mingyu his closure. They were met with some guards at the front of the gates who asked for identification as well as a reason for visitation. Jeonghan quickly provided his license and his reason before he was allowed entry. They drove up the gravel path and parked in the one of the limited spaces and Jeonghan undid his seatbelt. He gave Mingyu's hand a squeeze and slipped out of the vehicle. The two boys walked up the steps and into the red brick building where the air suddenly smelt like sterilizing products and bleach. Jeonghan shivered, the place was drafty.

"Can I help you there?" A tall man sitting behind a booth surrounded by bars of metal asked, his round face emphasized my his oval shaped glasses.

"I'm hear to see someone," Mingyu answered first.

The younger boy gave Jeonghan a push over to the waiting area. The blond looked worried but he did as his dongsaeng wanted and sat down. He watched Mingyu's broad back hunch over as he completed a number of forms and signed his name of seven separate sheets before the younger urged him over to do the same. They were both waved down with a metal detector by a guard and frisked -- Mingyu didn't appreciate the touching the guard did on his hyung but he kept his mouth shut. It was just standard proceedure, nothing to get jealous about.

Jeonghan slid his hand into Mingyu's as they were lead down a long hallway lined with doors with rather heavy-duty locks on them. There were small square windows on each door, just big enough to see through but not big enough that anyone would be able to break and escape. Jeonghan furrowed his brow when an occupant of one of the rooms stared at him and Mingyu as they followed the guard. Mingyu gave Jeonghan's temple a gentle peck in reassurance as they entered a room with a large pane of thick clear acrylic that separated them from the other side. Jeonghan and Mingyu sat down on the provided plastic chairs and waited. Not a minute later a door on the other side of the acrylic opened and in came a guard with a woman who wore a faded orange uniform. Mingyu huffed, the number on her uniform was three sixes -- the devil's number, how fitting.

"You have half an hour," the guard said as he felt them alone.

Mingyu eyed the woman who he once called his mother. The woman's hair was no longer luscious and thick like it was back in his memories, it looked brittle and dry and the well maintained brown locks had grown out a good four inches revealing a mix of jet black and stark white hairs. Her long manicured nails had been bitten into stubs and her skin looked sallow. With no money and luxuries to maintain her appearance the woman had succumbed to the ravish of time. The woman's cuffed hands clanked as she sat down in the chair opposite the two boys. Her eyes held a look of resentment and anger.

"Are you here to see me suffer?" Jeon Hwayoung spat, her teeth looked yellow and her lips dry and chapped.

"Maybe a year ago," Mingyu answered. "But not now."

"Then why are you here?" Hwayoung narrowed her eyes.

"I had a few questions," Mingyu said. "Questions that I never got to hear answers to."

"What makes you think that I'll answer?"

"Answering my questions would be the least you could do after everything you've done to me and my brothers," Mingyu stayed calm.

Hwayoung's lip twitched.

"How did you become this way? What made you do all those things to me when I was a kid?" Mingyu prodded.

"Have you ever gone to bed hungry several days in a row because your father chose to buy drugs over feeding his own family? Have you ever sold your body just so you could eat and provide a roof over your head? Have you ever felt so dirty that you wanted to kill yourself because of what you had to do to survive?" Hwayoung cocked her head, her eyes were unsettlingly wide.

"No," Mingyu said.

"Imagine having finally found a rich client and having a baby only to be thrown away and given handouts again like a cheap whore. I had no one to turn to, no one to share my burdens -- just a bumbling toddler who needed attention and unable to provide any form of intelligent conversation."

Jeonghan found Mingyu's hand under the table. His dongsaeng's hand was shaking. The conversation was definitely hitting a nerve. He gave the taller boy a worried look but he stayed silent. This wasn't his time, it was Mingyu's.

"You weren't even that man's child yet you were treated so well, I wanted to hurt you as much as he hurt me," Hwayoung said. "In the end he still won, he took you back and all I had was a tarnished reputation -- oh how cruel the public can be."

"I didn't do anything wrong," Mingyu retorted. "I didn't deserve being beaten."

"You deserved everything!" Hwayoung slammed her palms on the table.

"No I didn't!" Mingyu shouted back. "You took it out on me without any logical reason! You did that to me because you wanted my childhood to be as fucked up as yours was! You were selfish! You abused me to the point where I started losing my mind and guess what? I did lose my mind! I've thought about killing, I've thought about doing the unthinkable and it was all because of you!"

"That just proves that we are one in the same, does it not?" Hwayoung cocked her head, the look in her eyes was unsettling. "You're just as bad as I am."

"Oh believe me, I used to think the same thing," Mingyu squeezed Jeonghan's hand. "However, I managed to do the one thing that you were unable to."

"And was is that?"

"I found my salvation," Mingyu answered. "I found someone who loved me, loved me enough to know that I wasn't okay and helped me even though they knew it would create irreparable damage to our relationship. I found someone who took that risk."

Jeonghan felt his breath hitch.

"I came here today not to taunt you or make you angry," Mingyu assured. "I came here to say that I forgive you and that I'm ready to have a fresh start, I'm not asking you to do the same but I'd like you to accept help the same way I did. It's not too late."

"I don't need your pity," Hwayoung snarled.

"Then I guess we no longer have anything to do with each other," Mingyu said.

He stood from his seat and pulled Jeonghan along with him.

"Goodbye...mom," Mingyu threw over his shoulder as he and Jeonghan left the room.

Jeonghan turned around quick enough to catch Hwayoung shed a tear as they left. He knew he shouldn't have felt pity for the woman who shot him but there was a part if him who understood why the woman did what she did. She'd come from the lower class, had no support system and was plagued by her own insecurities all the while dealing with the reoccurring issue of money -- she'd been set up to fail from the very beginning, it was truly a sad life she had to lead. Jeonghan and Mingyu once again went through the long process to exit and signed off at the front desk like they did on their way in. Their drive back to the estate was another quiet one. Mingyu stared blankly out the windscreen the whole drive and Jeonghan did also. They entered the grounds of the estate around close to around the evening and at the front porch stood their father with a wooden cane wearing his navy silk pyjamas.

"Dad," Mingyu greeted the old man the second he climbed out of the car.

"Son," their father greeted his youngest.

"Why aren't you in your wheelchair? Should you even be outside?" Mingyu's worry was evident on his face.

"I'm fine, son," the man assured. "I've never been better."

"I'm back," Mingyu smiled.

"I knew you could do it, son," the older man patted Mingyu's back. "I knew you'd come back."

"You and Jeonghan did the right thing," Mingyu repeated for the millionth time. "Thank you."

"Let's get you inside, you must be exhausted," his father lead him inside.

"Sir, it's time for your medication," one of the caretakers announced the minute they were about to go upstairs.

"It's okay, I'll take it from here," Jeonghan said. "He's not going anywhere."

"I'll see you at dinner, son," their father grudgingly allowed himself to be lead away.

"Come on," Jeonghan carried Mingyu's backpack as he lead the way upstairs.

Just as they walked past Soonyoung and Jihoon's room, Jeonghan turned around.

"They're not home, both are still workaholics," Jeonghan said.

Jeonghan stood and waited at the door of Mingyu's bedroom. He allowed his dongsaeng to open the door on his own and let the boy enter first. The bedroom was exactly how he left it, the dark satin sheets were made and everything was dust free. Mingyu turned to look at Jeonghan who promptly locked the door and flung himself against Mingyu's torso and wrapped his legs around the younger boy. Mingyu's hands automatically caught the blond and cupped his rear.

"I can't believe you're finally home," Jeonghan whispered.

"I missed you so much," Mingyu whispered back.

"Do you hate me?" Jeonghan asked.

"No," Mingyu answered. "Never."

"Your letters, every time you wrote back to me I was so happy. At first I could identify which Mingyu was speaking but as time went on I no longer could distinguish the two voices. It was like they finally melded into one, that was when I knew you were getting better," Jeonghan started to cry.

"They both loved you, both sides loved you. That fact that remains unchanged, even now," Mingyu wiped away his hyung's tears. "But now I can say I love you, just me, not the two halves of me -- all of me."

"You must be tired, I'll let you go wash up," Jeonghan swiped at his eyes his sleeve as he headed for the door.

Mingyu quickly caught the blond's wrist. Jeonghan turned around to give Mingyu a quizzical look.

"Come with me," Mingyu said.

Jeonghan looked hesitant.

"Please, hyung," Mingyu eyes pleaded.

Jeonghan fell for it hook, line and sinker. He followed the younger boy into the bathroom and watched as Mingyu's large hands found themselves unzipping his jeans. Jeonghan allowed his pants to be pulled off his body and lifted his arms making it easier for Mingyu to undress him. He was completely naked in front of Mingyu, the boy licked his lips. His dongsaeng made quick work of his own clothes and they headed for the shower. The scalding hot water felt amazing against Jeonghan's skin and Mingyu's solid body behind him was an added bonus.

"I've missed this," Mingyu mumbled, Jeonghan's toned body paired with his smooth skin was the perfect contrast between hard and soft.

"I know you have," Jeonghan pushed Mingyu's wet hair back.

Jeonghan got out of the shower first and began filling up the bathtub. He slipped into the mildly scalding water and motioned for Mingyu to join him. The younger boy settled himself between his hyung's legs and leaned into his chest. It felt so right. The mental institution didn't have baths, only showers and the shower heads' design caused the water to feel like hard pellets hitting the skin -- Mingyu hated them. Mingyu's hand reached back and found Jeonghan's nape, his fingers immediately came in contact with uneven textured skin. He whipped around and inspected Jeonghan's neck. He immediately felt regret, he'd bitten Jeonghan on the very first night his hyung had moved into the estate. A pale scar now marred his skin.

"Don't make that face," Jeonghan shook his head.

"Why didn't you tell anyone about what I did to you?" Mingyu asked.

"Because my curiosity was far stronger than my fear," Jeonghan answered. "I wanted to know more, you were like a puzzle I wanted to solve."

"That was a dangerous game you played, hyung," Mingyu said.

"I know," Jeonghan nodded.

"What happens now?" Mingyu asked as he held onto Jeonghan.

"Have you ever travelled on your own, Mingyu?" Jeonghan caressed Mingyu's ear.

"No, it's always been with dad but even then I was supervised," Mingyu replied. "The only time I travelled alone was that night in New York when I saw you during Halloween."

"I want to get you out of here," Jeonghan said.

"Where would we go?" Mingyu traced circles on Jeonghan's chest.

"Anywhere and everywhere, I want to show you everything. I want to show you my favourite coffee shop in Colombia, my favourite gelato shop in Italy -- I want to show you what freedom feels like."

"I'd like that," Mingyu whispered -- that sounded amazing.

"I'm going to give you everything you missed out on," Jeonghan promised.

Mingyu didn't say anything else, he simply pressed a kiss to spot above Jeonghan's heart and closed his eyes. It felt so surreal. If only he'd accepted help earlier, if only he'd cooperated when his father sent him to specialists, he wouldn't have become the monster that he was.

"I love you," Jeonghan whispered in Mingyu's ear as they sat together.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Just one chapter left now!~ YOSH!!!!!!!!


	13. The Last

There were a lot of things that made Jeonghan happy but none could compare to the sight of a smiling Mingyu. He watched the younger boy through his oversized aviator sunglasses as Mingyu strolled several steps ahead on the beach. They were on the very last leg of their three month long trip. Jeonghan held the DSLR camera up and looked into the viewfinder before snapping a shot of the younger boy. Mingyu in turn immediately flashed him a smile as he waved a hand over his head. Jeonghan really did love his smile.

"Are you ready to head back?" Jeonghan asked as he caught up to the taller boy and grabbed his hand.

"Absolutely," Mingyu said as he linked fingers with Jeonghan.

Hawaii was the perfect place to end their journey, it was warm, serene and it made them forget about time. They'd spent their days there simply going on walks, enjoying the sights and eating at local restaurants. It wasn't anything exciting but it gave them some time to just relax and be together. Without the hustle and bustle of Seoul on their minds, the two had the opportunity to just talk. Of course there had been nights where Jeonghan had to bring up more serious topics with Mingyu but the younger boy had acknowledged that talking about such things was necessary.

"So," Jeonghan said as they stepped through the threshold of their rented beach house. "How would you rate our trip now that it's our last day here?"

"Is that really a question?" Mingyu cocked a brow.

"I want to hear your honest opinion," Jeonghan smacked Mingyu playfully on the arm.

"It's more than anything I could've imagined," Mingyu finally said, he buried his nose into the crook of Jeonghan's neck. "Thank you."

"You're welcome," Jeonghan wrapped his arms around Mingyu's neck.

Before the blond could react, he was lifted up by the younger boy and directed right into the bedroom. Jeonghan gasped as Mingyu's warm hands found their way under the thin fabric of his white t-shirt. He allowed Mingyu to pull the offending fabric off his torso and made quick work of his own shorts. He could see the hunger in Mingyu's eyes but the boy's touch was still so gentle. This was the real Mingyu, this was the Mingyu he'd been trying to find.

"Can I?" Mingyu leaned into Jeonghan's touch as his hyung caressed his face.

"Yes," Jeonghan nodded as Mingyu's tongue came in contact with his lips.

As always, Mingyu's temperature was much warmer than his own. Jeonghan closed his eyes and bit his lip as Mingyu's sharp canines scraped against the delicate flesh of his back. The boy's love bites were so very addictive, it only hurt for a second before the boy would kiss it all better. Jeonghan wrapped his arms around the younger boy's neck and allowed Mingyu to press himself close. His donsaeng's solid length immediately brushed up against his ass. Mingyu silently begged for entrance but Jeonghan simply shook his head -- he knew it was cruel but Mingyu's look of desperation was really cute. Jeonghan snickered as the boy's needy fingers dug into the globes of his ass.

"Please?" Mingyu asked again.

"Hm," Jeonghan stayed composed.

Mingyu peppered kisses up the sides of his face before nibbling at the older boy's earlobe. He licked the inside of Jeonghan's ear earning him a moan from his lover.

"I guess I can't say no to that, can I?" Jeonghan sighed as he positioned himself over Mingyu's length.

"Wait, hyung," Mingyu winced as Jeonghan took in his length.

"Didn't you ask for this?" It was Jeonghan 's turn to whisper in the boy's ear.

"You're getting more and more sadistic in the bedroom," Mingyu let out a breathy laugh.

"Is that a complaint?" Jeonghan cocked a brow.

"No," Mingyu shook his head, his eyelids heavy. "I love it."

"You've come a long way, Kim Mingyu," Jeonghan whispered against Mingyu's lips and took the long member down to the hilt -- he'd grown more than accustomed to the shape of his beloved.

Mingyu gripped Jeonghan's waist as the older boy ground himself in Mingyu's lap. The way the light caught Jeonghan's blond locks made it look like the boy had a halo, Mingyu was completely and utterly awed by the sight. He was holding the object of his desires in his arms, all those years of watching from afar had come to an end. He no longer felt any jealousy toward the blond nor did he think of locking Jeonghan away from the rest of the world. He'd rid himself of the unhealthy obsession, the fear mongering paranoia of having Jeonghan stolen from him. He felt so...free.

"Thank you, Jeonghan-hyung," Mingyu said as he moaned, the older boy in his arms was driving him into a state of pure desperation.

"For what?" Jeonghan brushed Mingyu's damp hair away from his face.

"For showing me unconditional love, for being the one who cared about me enough to stop enabling me. Thank you for not letting me succumb to insanity," Mingyu kissed Jeonghan's hand.

"We can talk about this later, Mingyu," Jeonghan placed his finger over the boy's lips. "Right now I just want to enjoy the moment."

Mingyu pushed Jeonghan back onto the mattress and loomed over him. He quickened his pace thrusting into the blond. Jeonghan gasped as Mingyu wrapped his hand around his cock and bit down on the boy's bronzed shoulder, his fingernails dragged down Mingyu's back earning him a low growl from thr younger boy. Jeonghan stuck his tongue inside Mingyu's ear and whispered sweet nothings, goosebumps formed on the younger boy's arms despite the hot weather -- Jeonghan's aroused voice was so very lewd.

"I love you," Jeonghan caressed Mingyu's sweat slicked face.

"Jeonghan..." Mingyu clenched his eyes shut as he roared into climax.

Jeonghan let out a moan of his own as Mingyu continued to stroke his cock. The blond wrapped his legs around the younger boy forcing them to stay connected. Jeonghan caught his exhausted dongsaeng as the boy crumbled onto his chest and kissed the top of his head. They were both sweaty and sticky but neither felt the need to get up. Jeonghan smiled as Mingyu intertwined their fingers and kissed the bullet scar that marred his chest.

"Can you promise me something?" Mingyu asked as he listened to Jeonghan's heartbeat.

"What is it?"

"If I ever revert back to the way I was..." Mingyu tightened his grip on Jeonghan's hand. "Let them take me away and lock me up."

"Mingyu," Jeonghan furrowed his brow.

"Promise me," Mingyu looked up with pleading eyes.

"I promise," Jeonghan nodded after several moments of silence.

"I don't want to hurt you, never again," Mingyu curled himself into a ball.

"The two sides of you both claimed to be the real Mingyu," Jeonghan said. "I believe that neither of them were lying. They were you but they stood at two different sides of the spectrum. The trauma you experienced as a child separated you into two extremes, your vulnerability and your strength became two entities. Despite how different they were the two sides of you both yearned for love and affection."

"You think I'm truly fixed?" Mingyu asked with a shaky breath.

"You were never broken, you were just a product of bad circumstances," Jeonghan said. "You had no control over your upbringing, abuse can do unimaginable things to the human psyche. Trauma can haunt even the strongest of minds."

"I know I sound like a broken record but thank you, Jeonghan-hyung," Mingyu repeated.

"Then you can show your gratitude by doing me this one favour," Jeonghan smiled.

"What? I'll do anything," Mingyu braced himself up on his elbow.

"Be happy," Jeonghan brushed Mingyu's sunkissed cheek with his thumb.

"As long as it's with you," Mingyu leaned into the gentle touch.

* * *

Five Years Later

* * *

 

Mingyu looked down at his watch as he ran down the street. It was six o'clock and he'd promised to be home in time for dinner. It was rush hour and it had been impossible to find a taxi to take him home -- he should've driven to work instead, he had many regrets. Just as he passed by a convenience store he caught sight of a boy sitting outside the tiny shop. Mingyu stopped mid stride, the boy was wearing a thin sweater much too small for his frame and he held a small cup of ramen in his winter chapped hands. Mingyu frowned, he saw himself in the kid. He'd relied heavily on the convenience store back when he lived with his mother, a cheap cup of ramen had saved him more than once on nights he'd gone hungry. He sent a quick message telling Jeonghan he'd be a little late and walked over to the boy.

The boy looked up at Mingyu with sleep deprived eyes, his lips were dry and he was far too skinny for his build. Mingyu's frown deepened seeing the bruises on the boy's cheek and arms.

"I'm sorry Mr, I'll get out of your way," the boy stood and bowed ready to scurry away.

"Wait," Mingyu placed a hand on the boy's shoulder.

The boy turned giving Mingyu a cautious look.

"Do you need help?" Mingyu asked looking down at the boy. "I can help you, kid. You just have to tell me."

The boy didn't answer for several moments but finally nodded. He immediately broke into tears.

"It's okay, I'll help you," just like how Jeonghan had helped him.

He wasn't going to let the same thing happen to the poor boy who stood before him.

"I promise you'll be okay."

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> We've reached the end. Thank you to everyone whose read the revised version of this mess. See you again soon!~
> 
> Feel free to check out my other stuff if you're looking for gyuhan. ;)


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